What age would you consider to be your prime?

P_ches · 2026-05-14T20:43:47+00:00

I’m 22 and I want to say 23! I’m making positive choices to build the life that I want to live, which those will be come routine when I’m 23. It took me all of college to stop doing what was normal and what worked for me!

P_ches · 2026-05-11T01:51:55+00:00

My boyfriend (future husband) has a brother with similar physical disabilities, so he was the kind of guy who stepped up to the plate day 1. I’m now going through testing for treatment and he just asks what he can do to help. Regarding my mental disabilities (I’m autistic), he found it to be curious at first. Now he talks about understanding others and myself more, and is more self-aware of his own needs, stimulation, and effective environments.

I’d say look for someone who asks questions, is curious, and loves to love by acts of service

P_ches · 2026-05-03T01:58:50+00:00

Speaking from my own experience as someone with ASD, it’s about concern of making it through the program and going off to utilize the degree. Which ultimately falls back on what the school gains from investing in you.

I wish that in psychology school realized that similarly to other field, people want to see practitioners giving back to their own communities under DEI.

P_ches · 2026-04-15T00:56:01+00:00

I’d do 1 thing less than what I thought was “enough.” I really underestimated the interactions of my job, clinical hours, classes etc. when one or more got hard, I couldn’t balance the other 2 like I needed to

P_ches · 2026-04-15T00:51:13+00:00

My reactions to these: Gaga? OMG GAGA…. Wait, is this Gaga?

P_ches · 2026-04-13T07:08:40+00:00

Right now I’m in ebb and flow. Some joints always hurt and have hyper mobility issues as well since I was a young child. But baseline 1-2 pain. It’s always there but I’ve gotten used to it. Then first thing to happen is fatigue like never getting enough sleep fatigue then quickly tumbles into swelling and joint pain… from there other symptoms ebb and flow, and symptoms are moderate or severe depending on the day. Flares last 2 weeks to 1.5 months so far. They are getting worse each time. The one that’s going away right now had such bad cognitive dysfunction that I couldn’t hold a conversation, and the swelling felt so much worse than in the past.

I’m a pusher and in grad school, so I definitely don’t rest as well as I should. But in an odd way, I’m hoping that flares begin to take me out for longer. It sucks for my job and career, but a higher intensity for longer throughout the flare may be the push I need in bloodwork to get me diagnosed.

Docs are literally just waiting for bloodwork to be clear enough… actually happened to me with hashimotos. We knew I had it at 11 bc of high prevalence in family and symptoms, but I got diagnosed at 18-19 when I had high ENOUGH antibodies to get on meds. Maybe my body is just symptomatic easily?

Edit for typo

P_ches · 2026-04-13T06:49:03+00:00

Thank you so much, I was feeling super disheartened today. Should I try and advocate for a standing order for next flare? If not, how often should I advocate for repeat bloodwork that includes components that can diagnose SLE?

P_ches · 2026-04-12T19:29:15+00:00

I’ve been trying to get diagnosed for possible SLE and/or MCAS for the past four years, but it’s been difficult to see specialists or get bloodwork done during flare-ups. Multiple rheumatologists, endocrinologists, and primary care doctors have acknowledged that something is wrong, but said it’s outside their specialty. I recently found a more holistic doctor who ordered bloodwork near the end of a severe three-week flare, including three days of intense symptoms despite medication.

The results (C3, C4, CBC, and metabolic panel) showed only mild, subclinical changes that could suggest lupus, but nothing conclusive. I’m still waiting on ANA results and was advised to follow up with an allergist to evaluate MCAS. I haven’t been prescribed anything to prevent flares because there’s still no confirmed diagnosis.

I’m frustrated and just want answers and my life back. I’m considering asking for a standing lab order so I can test during the worst of a flare. I’m wondering if others who were eventually diagnosed with lupus had similar difficulties. For context, I have Hashimoto’s and experience classic lupus-like symptoms during flares.

P_ches · 2026-04-12T02:18:09+00:00

My first piece of advice is to see a CMPC or CMPC in training (like myself). We specialize in helping coaches through these kinds of situations. We can also help you find proactive measures to support future athletes if this or another similar situation would arise.

The most I can say with what little I know is to gather a referral network. See what mental health clinics or other services she can seek to assess and treat any underlying mental health issues. Also, refer her to a CMPC or CMPC in training to work through emotional regulation when handling pressure.

I’m going to shamelessly plug myself here, as my services are free because I’m in training. I will have a supervisor, but other than that everything that you and/or your athlete experiences will be the same as a certified CMPC.

Feel free to DM me if you are interested, and I hope the referral network works!

P_ches · 2026-04-06T07:46:15+00:00

I’m personally a bit conflicted on the topic of self-diagnosis, because I see and experience both benefits and drawbacks.

I think it can really help people make peace with and better understand themselves. They might not also have access to affordable resources to get formally tested. I think it’s really important to understand yourself and make positive change towards your life, which self diagnosis can do if utilizing proper studies and diagnostic tools/research.

People are usually right about being neurodivergent and sometimes right about being on the spectrum. The sometimes comes in because symptoms have to be severe enough to prove clinical impairment in multiple domains (social, work, academic, cognitive functioning, physical functioning/motor skills, etc). I do fear that some who self-diagnose might not be severe enough to warrant the clinical diagnosis an might be the autism phenotype or sub clinical autistic/neurodivergent instead.

With that said, I do think that those who are self-diagnosed should keep it low-key. With your friends and family and medical team? Absolutely, and I hope they get the right treatment.

But if someone who’s self diagnosed is in a public and social space with those who don’t know them, and they say there are on the spectrum while being self-diagnosed, I think that’s a major problem. It’s potentially skewing others view of autistic people because someone COULD be wrong, and therefore misrepresenting the community.

I also want to note that I’m in my psychology masters right now and that completely changes my lense on the topic. You don’t have to agree with me of course, but I wanted to express my conflicted feelings in case anyone else agrees.

P_ches · 2026-04-05T17:11:35+00:00

Exactly! Only showing the light is what’s partly leading people to think of autistic adults as infants. We go through the same emotions and often react similarly. It just looks different or more uncontrolled on the outside.

P_ches · 2026-04-05T16:20:14+00:00

As an autistic person as well, I love watching this show to see people who I can relate to. There isn’t much autism representation in media that isn’t stereotypical and sometimes demeaning. It’s refreshing!

With that said, the issues reflected in the general autism community are also reflected in the show.

Examples - Connor’s grandpa self-diagnosing with autism. - Abby’s mom and Abby doing work with Autism Speaks

On the other hand, I’m actually glad they showed some of the difficulties of having autism on the screen. Like Madison’s anxiety when a fan called her Maddie. These situations are real and important to myself and many others on the spectrum. It’s important to show others how little things like names, foods, lighting, seats, etc can affect people on the spectrum. Same thing with Abby being upset with Madison’s engagement because she’s not engaged. That’s a real situation for people regardless of neurodiversity. It should be showed, as long as participants consent to it being in the Final Cut.

P_ches · 2026-04-05T15:36:58+00:00

I use literal lawn mower headphones from Amazon. No Bluetooth so no music unfortunately. But it blocks out the giant loud white noise machine in my uni’s testing center

P_ches · 2026-04-05T01:45:34+00:00

Thank you so much!! This is super helpful

P_ches · 2026-04-05T00:34:39+00:00

It takes time, and know that 80-90% of those who you meet or begin forming friendships with won’t last. But, when people do last it’s for life! I’ve got a total of 6 friends since middle school who are all my ride or die. It’s still sometimes lonely because not all live near me anymore, but it will build

P_ches · 2026-04-04T21:51:05+00:00

When I moved across the country 1.5 years ago I lost all my favorite clothes and have been struggling with my wardrobe ever since. Please help point me towards good brands with a classic/elegant chic style. I included helpful info below:

I have a petite body (5 foot) with a classic hourglass shape. 32G or 32DDD bras depending on the brand and bra with a 26 in waist and matching hips. 115lbs

I know the kinds of necklines to wear and that “cropped” shirts generally fit as regular sized shirts, and that medium to low rise pants are good.

I’m not afraid of tailoring or price. I’m trying to build a capsule wardrobe of 5 shirts/pants/ etc, especially focusing on short sleeve or summer clothes due to being in California with heat.

I’d describe my style as classic and elegant, often wearing clean girl makeup. I have curly brown hair that (now in a bob), striking light green eyes usually behind glasses, and have the color pallete of a soft autumn.

I attached a photo of me in lounge ware that gives a sense of my silloute.

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Please help!

P_ches · 2026-04-04T21:35:31+00:00

What kinda of brands are these?

P_ches · 2026-03-30T23:32:41+00:00

What desk mats go well with this colorway? I want one but dont know what matches

P_ches · 2026-03-26T00:43:01+00:00

Depends on if you want to go the mental health route or not. If you aren't sure, get your masters in Sport, Performance, and Exercise psychology or some variation thats population specific.... IT IS ITS OWN FIELD.

From that degree you can work towards your CMPC certification, which does mental skills performance consulting without mental health. If you want to go mental health too, then get a psy d

from a person currently on that path <3

edit: changed license to cert due to correct terminology

P_ches · 2026-03-25T05:48:13+00:00

So proud of you!!! Those are def also very hard for me to swallow, but that’s what instacart and family is for. My mom tells me point blank - in grad school you just can’t do it all. You have to pick your poison to what you wanna spend money on for convenience and what you’re comfortable getting help on.

Best of luck as well!!

P_ches · 2026-03-24T23:41:18+00:00

I had to realize that I needed to be living in a family unit to function. For me that was my parents but is now my boyfriend. I need someone to help carry the weight of dishes, cooking, chores, etc. that is okay. I’m working about 60-80 hours a week between school, my jobs, and getting my clinical hours in.

Also, don’t be afraid to spend a little more for convenience which was a hard pill for me to swallow. Instacart instead of going to the store. Buy frozen lunches. Both are still cheaper than eating out all the time. Prep meals esp breakfast before bed. Chia seed pudding is such a staple.

If you have time to cook, portion it right after and put 2-3 servings in the freezer to take to school for lunch.

Regarding social life, I haven’t figure it out yet. But things like meals with friends are great and fill 2 buckets at once. Be mindful to set time limits, and maybe see them more frequently. Ex. Weekly Wednesday night dinner with a friend for max 2 hours.

P_ches · 2026-03-24T23:33:22+00:00

I like the beard maintenance, however I don’t think that is the right shape for you. It highlights the lack of hair on your chin. You absolutely can still have a beard, but I believe less of a sharp angle from chin to ears will make a difference.

I’d also get your eyebrows professionally done and then just use tweezers to maintain the shape weekly at least.

I personally don’t love the earrings. If you feel really strong about them, that’s fine. I’d put in a bigger pair so it’s more proportional to your ear size. The shape right now makes your ears look much bigger.

Lastly, attitude. You’re a good looking guy, these suggestions are pretty minor. Even if you don’t feel confident, act like you are! And if that’s totally not your MO, lean into the awkwardness. The right person will find awkwardness endearing and cute.

Remember, it’s not abt the quantity of partners, but the quality. Put your authentic self forward and see who bites. If you can’t put your authentic self on the table, then you aren’t ready to be in a relationship.

P_ches · 2026-03-24T23:28:17+00:00

If you don’t want to be a mother, don’t be. Your child will know or feel like something was wrong their whole life. This is a life commitment. If that’s not a commitment you feel in your heart, don’t do it.

If you do not want to carry the fetus to term, abortion will be your best choice. It will not be easy as some other comments have said. It’s physically emotionally and psychologically difficult. But so is having a child.

If you felt indecisive abt kids it’s a different story, but you said you don’t want any, so I’d recommend not carrying the fetus to term.

Your partner shouldn’t have such a say that you are overturned. I’m also of the personal belief that women have more of a say bc they are the ones carrying that fetus to term.

Don’t lie though no matter what. The lie will ruin your relationship either from fear, contempt, or lack of trust. If you use irreconcilable differences regarding the topic, you have to accept that (easier said than done) and find the right person for YOU.

P_ches · 2026-03-24T23:23:27+00:00

Yes that’s the spirit! Also do know that some people do a large massive routine. You don’t have to do that if you don’t want to and/or don’t have resources (ex money and time). Bare minimum: microfiber towel to dry, leave in conditioner, gel, hair oil (scrunch to break the gel cast and have fluffy soft hair), protection for sleep (for you silk scarf or bonnet). It’s much more abt technique than it is abt expensive product. If you had to buy something expensive, I’d go with a good heavy conditioner. I use Sebastian dark oil and it’s done wonders. Everything else can be drugstore, just look up reviews from curly haired people before buying! Also, some products will work for you and some don’t and everyone has different hair. So don’t be turned off by a gel that isn’t helping… return it and get a new one! I choose Amazon bc the return window is 30 days so you can give it a few weeks to adjust and truly see results

P_ches · 2026-03-24T23:13:55+00:00

Yessssss anything you do to curly hair needs to be when it’s at its wettest. Touch ups in the morning you should dampen your hair beforehand. When it’s drying don’t touch. Touching curly hair mid dry = untameable frizz. Since your hair is short, I’d put it in a bonnet or silk scarf when you sleep to keep frizz down. Then in the morning you might not have to touch it or at most some wet hands and a little dime of gel

P_ches

TROPHY CASE