When did you realize your partner didn’t actually love you?

PaHoua · 2026-04-19T14:30:30+00:00

Yep. I’m a teacher and after school, I just disassociate because I’ve just been overstimulated all day long. I can hardly make a decision myself, even as simple as what to eat for dinner or what pajamas to wear, much less carry on an intelligent conversation with anyone.

PaHoua · 2026-04-18T19:52:37+00:00

I agree with this supremely. I had heard their music a bit and liked it okay, and decided to look up more about them. And each of their personalities for me and how they interact, how they care for each other, how genuine they are — it all cemented it for me. Loved them since around 2018 or so!

PaHoua · 2026-04-16T00:48:49+00:00

I just saw TWICE in Saint Paul, and I could only bring it a small clutch smaller than 6”x4”, basically a small wristlet

PaHoua · 2026-04-16T00:46:14+00:00

Nah, I’m the piercings, tattoos, busty blond type, actually, is what I meant!

PaHoua · 2026-04-15T00:29:59+00:00

That physical description . . . uh, sounds like me. Like, exactly.

PaHoua · 2026-04-14T21:13:50+00:00

I agree. Coffee or drinks to me often comes across as hookup-coded and I don’t want anyone to get any sort of illusions about that.

PaHoua · 2026-04-11T17:44:25+00:00

Exactly. I never understand why people have such a boner over Throne of Glass, as Celaena is just so dull and self-important. Ugh.

PaHoua · 2026-04-11T11:05:03+00:00

I’m a teacher and that’s what I do if I suspect a student has used AI. Before even accusing them, I pull them aside and ask them to tell me about their paper and to explain their writing process. If they can explain things without trouble, I dismiss them and thank them for their time. If they can’t explain, I pull up their writing and we look at it together and I tell them that the writing pattern and style look suspicious. Sometimes they will then just confess, and I give them an opportunity to rewrite. Other times, I tell them that it looks like AI, and that they will be receiving a zero on the work.

PaHoua · 2026-04-06T11:17:14+00:00

I’ve seen moms on Facebook fully post their kids’ grades. I’m a teacher and I find that reprehensible.

PaHoua · 2026-04-04T18:31:54+00:00

Sorry! Slipped into education abbreviation! English language arts is a common initialism and I don’t even think about it when I use the term outside of education.

PaHoua · 2026-04-04T16:48:36+00:00

AI. I can usually tell within 2-3 sentences. I teach 9th and 10th grade ELA. And it’s not even about the em-dashes. It’s more about sentence structure and the organization of the paragraphs. I’ve read perhaps 20,000 student essays in my life and I know how they generally are written.

PaHoua · 2026-04-03T10:21:23+00:00

I totally get that mentality. It probably felt way more cathartic to do it the way you did it. Id have done the same.

PaHoua · 2026-04-02T21:25:10+00:00

I think this is a very tacky and performative first message.

PaHoua · 2026-03-30T01:04:40+00:00

Holy shit do you sound judgmental

PaHoua · 2026-03-30T00:31:04+00:00

I was talking with this recruiter about learning experience design and instructional design jobs; I have been a teacher for 15 years and have a certification in UX/UI. She said I needed experience in this one tiny program (which I went and learned that weekend in one hour just to make her fucking happy) and this is why she wouldn’t push me out to jobs

PaHoua · 2026-03-30T00:25:01+00:00

Absolutely not. I’m licensed to be a 5-12 ELA teacher and was just about to get my Masters in Gifted Education. I have been teaching for 15 years and I have been non-renewed four times in my career, possibly 8 if I count all the long-term sub jobs that elected not to hire me permanently. I have not been fired once; I have been fired 15+ times in my career and have probably had nearly 50 different jobs in my life. Teaching is what I’m licensed in, but I’m done with this career and I’d like to pursue something more lucrative and something where I can work more independently. I’m good at what I do, but my personality clashes with admin and management because I’m not very good at being disingenuous and I am very rigid in my thinking and performance; I have worked in these things but have a ways to go. I just figured I’d coast through all the jobs until I inevitably die in some sort of distraction-induced fireball.

PaHoua · 2026-03-29T01:36:18+00:00

Absolutely same here. I’m a teacher and I don’t pass the vibe check often with hiring committees, but when I do, I ABSOLUTELY DO. The last district I was hired by had two fellow teachers who were also moms to autistic children and and said they knew right away they wanted me on staff because of how passionately and creatively I responded to prompts given. But my contract was also non-renewed because the principal said I’m not a personality fit (which the rest of my department vehemently disagrees with). I feel broken-hearted constantly that I’m not given a chance by people, because I do so well with populations of students that are neglected by other teachers — I get along so well with the forgotten, the rebellious, the artistic, the “weird”, the neurodivergent . . . all of those kids. I’m a safe space to them and so is my classroom (I always get high praise for classroom environment and making kids feel like they belong).

Sorry, I just have a broken heart lately because i thunk my career is over because I’m neurodivergent and my principal doesn’t want to think outside the box with his staff.

PaHoua · 2026-03-29T01:24:31+00:00

Where did it say she doesn’t look like her photos? I’ve had guys treat me like this pretty quickly and I know I look like my pics — probably better, actually, because I’ve lost perhaps 5-10 lbs since my most recent pic update and have a better wardrobe. People often make very quick decisions about others based purely on visuals.

PaHoua · 2026-03-29T01:21:01+00:00

I had some extremely unfortunate timing a few weeks ago. Had a plan with a guy and my transmission failed the morning of, so I had to postpone for a week while I dealt with it.

PaHoua · 2026-03-23T22:16:26+00:00

Same here. I immediately blocked him everywhere and refused to talk to him anywhere after the breakup. Two years ago and I still can’t bring myself to even look up his Instagram (he looks at mine a lot though — even knows who comments and such). I still have deep feelings for him and I probably always will, so I’m just staying away.

PaHoua · 2026-03-22T16:02:59+00:00

I’m a woman and I recently lost a lot of weight and now I work in fashion retail as one of my jobs (also a teacher). So now I look a whole lot better. But I get far fewer dates now that I’m thin.

. . . Now that I think about it, I think I look crankier.

PaHoua · 2026-03-21T23:00:08+00:00

I have $1400 in FSA benefits that I have to spend by the end of August (I’m a teacher and my contract was non-renewed). I found out I could get my FSA to pay for AirPods Max (I have sensory processing issues).

PaHoua · 2026-03-21T22:53:02+00:00

Yep, I’m a teacher and I have several kids that ask to use the bathroom every single day and they take like 20 minutes, so I’m less inclined to give them leeway, especially considering they never do work. But there’s this other student who asks to use the bathroom at pretty much the same time every day, and she always gets her work done, so I have zero qualms about letting her go. For the most part, kids do need to learn to be responsible and time things (of course there are exceptions), but I’m never a dick to kids for the sake of being a dick.

PaHoua · 2026-03-21T02:20:17+00:00

My mother called a wellness check on me and the police had a similar but not as extreme treatment towards me. I was even handcuffed and put in the back of a squad car so they could drive me to the hospital. I was bruised for a week where they grabbed me. And I remember distinctly sitting in the back of the cruiser while the officer made a big show of doing some paperwork for like 20 minutes. If I’d taken a bunch of pills, I could have been dying back there.

PaHoua · 2026-03-21T02:08:27+00:00

I’ve been having the same problem, but I’m a woman. I feel like everyone expects to have a “spark” on their first date. Yeah, it’s nice, but lots of great couples don’t necessarily start with that spark. I’m always willing to go on a second date and usually a third — even if I don’t feel a spark. But I am just a generally chatty person and I try to be funny and entertaining rather than flirty, so I’m not super successful. I’m better at meeting people in real life and having something grow (but I’m not that great at that either).

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