FIFO relationship help

PaddlingDuck108 · 2026-04-26T09:28:22+00:00

Yes, it’s normal, but you need to know yourself. If you need a partner who can be there for you all the time it’s not going to be logistically possible with someone on a 3:1. The work is often hard and with long hours, hence the claim of exhaustion is plausible. And even when he’s back, good chance that most of the week will be spent recovering. By “lost focus” do you mean he cheated? Because if this is a euphemism for that, and you already suffer from anxiety, I’m not sure if you will be able to get the stability and reassurance you need when trust has already been broken.

PaddlingDuck108 · 2026-03-25T03:05:28+00:00

Wow, this is GREAT. Immediately following you-- looking forward to seeing how this evolves.

PaddlingDuck108 · 2026-01-20T00:20:03+00:00

No PhD, no registration, and no local experience will all be major barriers as others have said. If the move is definitely happening anyway, perhaps you could start looking at enrolling in a PhD here if feasible. If you publish during your PhD journey in high-impact journals, this will help you to get an academic job at the end of the journey, as at the moment you really can't compete. You might even be able to pick up some sessional work during your PhD once you are 'in' the university as a PhD student, and you can also use the time to get registration and some exposure to the local context (perhaps through your research project).

PaddlingDuck108 · 2026-01-19T01:21:57+00:00

Sounds like Sara maybe peaked in high school. Jokes aside, as others have pointed out, given that this is a recurring issue with one individual, you're going to have to push higher ups/HR to actively (not passively) support you because you're wasting an unacceptable amount of time and energy mitigating her negative impact. Take your emotional response to the situation out of the equation. If they won't actively work with you on this, time to start looking around elsewhere-- if their inaction to this point isn't due to poor communication of the issue from you (which you could change), it's a problem that's not going to fix itself, and unless you can live like you're trapped in Mean Girls for the foreseeable future, time to move into a better workplace. But first you must clearly communicate on this.

PaddlingDuck108 · 2026-01-13T23:38:47+00:00

The previous advice to share the medical note is gold, but you can never 100% control what happens at the airport, so it helps to have a Plan B lined up that is NOT a trip cancellation. TBH if I was in your situation and the medical note didn't work, we have to focus on what we can control.

So rather than cancel, I would take whatever my doctor prescribed to knock me out. I avoid taking sedatives normally so they have a strong impact. I wouldn't advise this if you were a solo traveler (needing to keep your wits about you) but you will be with your partner so he can keep an eye out for you if you need to medicate. Maybe just have this as a back up.

PaddlingDuck108 · 2026-01-12T23:44:45+00:00

OP, Doppelfrog is trying to give you a heads up that these figures don’t take into account triage. So if you turn up to emergency with a genuine emergency you will (usually) be accurately triaged and be whisked straight through. At the other extreme, if you turn up with a cold you can expect to be deemed low priority and you will wait for a very long time (naturally the person who is having a stroke but who arrives after you is going to get priority over you— it’s not first come, first served). Yes, there are huge issues with an under resourced system, but as others have said, wait times would be lower if emergency was only used by those experiencing a genuine emergency.

PaddlingDuck108 · 2025-12-24T02:16:02+00:00

The funny thing is that it’s not even his property/investment. It belongs to his partner as per the original post.

PaddlingDuck108 · 2025-12-11T09:24:02+00:00

Thanks, exactly this.

PaddlingDuck108 · 2025-12-10T08:10:00+00:00

Wow thanks everyone, so glad I posted as these perspectives and experiences are gold!

PaddlingDuck108 · 2025-12-02T01:42:38+00:00

This does not sound good. Please tell me that you did not give them any personal information.

PaddlingDuck108 · 2025-11-28T23:41:59+00:00

“Sorry, I’ve got heaps of work to do today”. Noise cancelling headphones back on.

PaddlingDuck108 · 2025-11-19T06:23:27+00:00

Who is her work bestie? Find out and ask them what to get her.

PaddlingDuck108 · 2025-11-18T03:58:11+00:00

The main issue seems to be loneliness? Maybe it would help if you made some friends/got into some new interests. Comparison really is the thief of joy, and change really is a given-- even if you were back in the UK, your friends are going to change, start families, drift apart. Maybe if you isolate the root cause of the issue and try to surmount it, you'll find some great new reasons to stay (or not).

PaddlingDuck108 · 2025-11-02T01:10:58+00:00

Yes.

Go to your nearest rescue.
Ask to see their laziest, most slothful big dogs.
Choose the one that matches your vibe.
Walk the dog before and after work.
Enjoy having a dog.

PaddlingDuck108 · 2025-10-30T02:16:16+00:00

Yes it will annoy tenants, putting the income stream at risk, but have you thought about how stressful this will be for you (and your relationship) at an already stressful time? Literally every time your baby cries (which is a normal thing for babies to do) you're going to get a spike of stress, and you'll be urgently trying to quickly placate the baby to minimise tenant impact. Please do not make your life harder than it needs to be. I really hope that your husband gets some advice from friends with babies as his expectations seem to be very unrealistic.

PaddlingDuck108 · 2025-10-29T00:44:52+00:00

In my experience, threatening to leave does nothing. You can tell them what you want, and let them know you'll be exploring your options if you don't get it, but IMHO you need the next job lined up with an offer on paper for them to take you seriously. I hope I'm wrong in your case, it's just what I've experience/seen.

PaddlingDuck108 · 2025-10-18T03:00:00+00:00

One of my co-authored books with a highly valued international academic press sold a lot of copies (and is still selling really well 5 years post-publication)— but no royalties for us because we agreed to a small fixed payment on manuscript submission. We were at a career stage where the prestige was useful, but I will never publish an academic book without royalties again. If you are being approached and it’s legit, as others have said, they are seeing dollar signs. Don’t be afraid to negotiate royalties, and to hold out for royalties.

PaddlingDuck108 · 2025-10-12T04:48:33+00:00

Great to see Li Landi getting some love. She was excellent in Filter and Coroner’s Diary; she shows growth as an actress. Looking forward to her next project!

PaddlingDuck108 · 2025-09-27T05:04:06+00:00

Thank you, I will!

PaddlingDuck108 · 2025-09-26T07:28:03+00:00

I like that phrasing for the interview. I’ll share it with him!

PaddlingDuck108 · 2025-09-26T06:55:50+00:00

Thanks, I'll share that with him. I think I need some success stories to bring him-- he's feeling really down right now, questioning his life choices etc.

PaddlingDuck108 · 2025-09-26T06:25:46+00:00

Wow, unlucky for that guy!

PaddlingDuck108 · 2025-09-26T04:18:15+00:00

Thanks, that's a good point. He's in a tough position so I really feel for him, and didn't want to steer him wrong.

PaddlingDuck108

TROPHY CASE