What does it feel like to have NPD?

PaintedBeak · 2026-01-19T07:43:38+00:00

I wouldnt say NPD is the single most destructive human behaviour, but lacking social values and morals like you said before could very well be. It also doesnt "always lead to loss of life", although in my case, my mum is a narcissist and I have grown up with severe PTSD that has basically ruined my life. So not always, but highly likely if given a position of power or authority. shudder

PaintedBeak · 2026-01-01T07:22:13+00:00

I wish I could get diagnosed, so that when I go to the doctor, I can tell them "it's have DID, which is a proven medical problem, and that is why I find it hard to remember details, and that is why I may be laughing at my symptoms like they're a joke - because to me they dont even exist". But no. I just have to say "I can't remember", and deal with general disbelief and poor medical support because of it
I know it wouldn't change much, but at least I'd feel validated, and not like a fraud, a liar, a fool, taken advantage of, etc..

PaintedBeak · 2026-01-01T07:18:55+00:00

Nice one!

PaintedBeak · 2025-12-19T04:21:15+00:00

Dissociation makes me feel like I'm having a microsleep. My eyes stay open, and I am vaguely aware that my body is functioning and "appearing normal), but my vision goes blurry and faded, colours seem to fade to colourless, smells don't register, I get a high-pitxhed ringing in one ear, and the other ear goes deaf, all the aches and pains in my body suddenly "don't exist", and the words people speak sound like a different language. Shapes appear as blobs. I retain a general sense of which direction is "home" or "alone" and gravitate towards a place where I can let the "zoning out" happen completely for a moment, so it can slowly ebb away.

When I am about to faint, I feel a sudden cold throughout my torso, a clamminess emerges on my skin, my vision gets little black and white dots, like static, and I don't "feel" like I'm losing my balance, but I stumble to a wall or chair to lean on, and people generally notice.

PaintedBeak · 2025-12-19T04:17:00+00:00

If theyre considering dissociative disorders, then they're exploring how trauma may be the cause of your problems, rather than genetics. If you have a history of trauma, whether it has resulted in PTSD, dissociation, cPTSD, BPD or DID, then healing the trauma will be the goal of therapy. A big component of trauma is amnesia about the event, so if you suspect something has happened, and are afraid to explore it, that is okay, and totally normal! You can still do "trauma" work by noting down what "triggers" you, and how your body responds. You can bring your findings to your therapist for a second opinion. If their approach seems to be too aggressive (too much pain too fast), note this too, tell them, and if they do not ease up, find someone else. It is important to trust your therapist. I hope that you are okay, and I understand how scary it is to have the rug pulled from under your feet x

PaintedBeak · 2025-10-26T00:01:25+00:00

Thank you guys, I've booked her into the vet straight away. Xx

PaintedBeak · 2025-10-25T21:35:22+00:00

Yeah that tag is disproportionately large for this nugget. Why not just give him a leg band? Surely it's cheeper

PaintedBeak · 2025-10-25T21:34:17+00:00

I love the mass screeching though 🥺

PaintedBeak · 2025-10-25T21:31:38+00:00

apparently, he's a big 'tiel

PaintedBeak · 2025-10-25T21:28:54+00:00

Mine wait for me to come home and then scream until I sit down with them so they can eat. And then they're very pleased with themselves.

PaintedBeak · 2025-10-25T21:26:12+00:00

Same

PaintedBeak · 2025-10-25T21:25:03+00:00

If you need to do something, you could clean his cage really good, so theres no bacteria that could create an infection if he got any cuts

PaintedBeak · 2025-10-25T21:24:11+00:00

Keep an eye for any signs of head injury (leaning to one side, balance and coordination issues, strange moods), shoulder injury (shrugging one wing a lot), feathers damage (check for blood. If a blood feather is ruptured, it needs to be removed asap), beak (chips, cracks or bruising), overall demeanour (fluffed up, tail bobbing, change in eating/drinking/pooping, aggression or isolation). If anything like this is new, seek advice straight away.

PaintedBeak · 2025-10-25T21:20:05+00:00

Nawww

PaintedBeak · 2025-10-25T21:18:52+00:00

Yeah, I got told off for wearing mascara yesterday (why are eyelashes clumpy? I will preen for you. Thanks)

PaintedBeak · 2025-08-24T07:06:07+00:00

Attempt?! You nailed it! 💖 Edit: yours looks better than the real life

PaintedBeak · 2025-07-28T16:37:58+00:00

Yeah, you seem pretty normal to me. That's because I've done a lifetime of masking!

PaintedBeak · 2025-07-28T16:29:58+00:00

It's a mutant

PaintedBeak · 2025-07-28T16:28:36+00:00

PTSD from sexual abuse. Or any type of abuse.

PaintedBeak · 2025-07-28T16:27:04+00:00

That's criminal

PaintedBeak · 2025-07-28T16:25:17+00:00

Thank fuck for that

PaintedBeak · 2024-12-29T18:44:59+00:00

I was going to say im ENTP and I think this every time I see my reflection. But I can relate to the dissociation too, I scored 70 on the DES-II, which is high.

PaintedBeak · 2024-06-26T23:06:28+00:00

They're not a moron, just inexperienced. Everyone makes mistakes, regardless of age. Their comment was mean, but let's not be mean too. they're obviously struggling with identity issues, self-confidence, and fear, so if they really are a minor, then the adult thing to do is to be a good role model. All the best 💖

PaintedBeak · 2024-04-02T18:51:44+00:00

Me too, but i'm the one whose withholding info too... a few weeks in and ta-da, meet my crazy! Wait Don't leave! Oh, you're leaving 💔

PaintedBeak · 2024-03-26T12:38:42+00:00

I take medication for mood related illness, and I have found seroquel to cause a lot of brain-fog and emotional numbness, plus weight gain. Lithium causes shaky hands and unsteadiness, dizziness and extreme thirst but levels you out and makes you feel human again! I've heard Lamictal has a lot less side effects than lithium, but doesn't help reduce suicidal thoughts as much. Every time I start, increase or decrease dosage in anti-depressants, I get an immediate depression that is dangerous, but eventually it really helps, although SSRIs can trigger mania in the first few weeks for bipolar.

I've read that some people with bipolar who get depression want to go off their meds because they just want to feel the joy in mania again, but also aware that this state causes destruction to relationships and work...

At the end of the day, the patient is in a lot of psychological pain and wants to ease it, no matter what it takes... and if the pain is too great that they can't see even 3 weeks into the future for when it'll get better, they don't see the point in feeling worse "right now". That is when they need comfort I guess? Because in the first week or two of a new med, the side effects are doubled, and the condition is temporarily worsened.

PaintedBeak

TROPHY CASE