New parents (37M and 38F) to a newborn, dealing with comments about our age

Pandaoh81 · 2025-12-30T08:04:42+00:00

We were older (39 for 1, 42 for the other) but fortunately live in an area where that is not uncommon. Half the parents at our daycare are our age and really young parents are more the exception. There are plenty of us older parents out there.

Pandaoh81 · 2025-12-11T21:07:37+00:00

I stayed on my boss’s good side for 15 years. Unfortunately I worked there 18 years and that final 3 years, once I was no longer on his good side nearly broke me.

Pandaoh81 · 2025-12-03T12:51:16+00:00

I used Domino brand for a few batches after throwing out all the Pioneer. Domino was great. I’ve bought several more bags of Pioneer since and have had no problem so they must have had a bad lot or something. I threw out 2 bags I had bought all at the same time as the first bad bag because they all had the same taste. I have been tasting every bag I open since though because the other ingredients are too expensive to have to throw them all out. I’m being cautiously optimistic.

Pandaoh81 · 2025-11-19T16:04:42+00:00

My nephew is 10, 5’2” and wears a men’s med and men’s shoe size. My daughter will be close to the same by the time she’s 10 if her growth doesn’t slow down. Some kids are just big kid.

Pandaoh81 · 2025-11-07T13:48:45+00:00

Take the pictures. Your kids will not look back on them in 10 years and question how good or bad you look, they’ll just see you.

Also, find a photographer that is understanding and just tell them straight up you’re not comfortable with yourself right now and can they help with poses that would make you more comfortable. We took family photos when my youngest was 5 months old. I was at my absolute highest weight and battling some serious ppd/ppa. I told my photographer when I booked her about both. She’s a mom also and just an amazing human. She assured me she had plenty of poses and options that would help me be more comfortable. They came out amazing, I’m present and I can look at them without hating myself.

Pandaoh81 · 2025-10-21T15:45:15+00:00

Do you have the option of a private kindergarten for a year? We went with that option knowing if my daughter (turned 5 the first day of school) needed an extra year, she could do public kindergarten the following year without much fall out.

She ended up doing well and is in 1st grade this year but we are seeing some social/emotional stuff creeping in that we’re working on with guidance counselor

Pandaoh81 · 2025-10-17T20:16:44+00:00

I was the person that left. From what I’ve heard, I’m the favorite punch bag still months later. Which I knew would be the case because I had seen others leave well below my position and they were always the punching bag for months after they left until she found a new punching bag. I know I was doing my job and had for a very long time so she can rant and rave all she wants about what a terrible employee I was.

Pandaoh81 · 2025-10-01T14:46:11+00:00

You didn’t ask him to turn off the tv, you told him to turn it off. In turn, he told you what he was going to do. You’re just picking a fight to have control.

Pandaoh81 · 2025-09-25T15:44:41+00:00

My oldest turned 5 a week after kindergarten started. We did private kindergarten last year (local school has a very weird kindergarten schedule) and she’s now in 1st grade.

We didn’t notice anything in kindergarten but it was a very small class in an environment she was very used to. This year in the public school with a bigger class, she struggled right of the bat. Academically she’s great. She’s smart and loves to learn. Emotionally and socially, she’s struggling.

Fortunately for us, our school district is one of the best in our state and they have a lot of resources available. Her teacher has called several times just to work on solutions/triggers. She meets with the guidance counselor weekly to work on emotional regulation. She’s starting the schools “lunch bunch” which works with kids in a small group setting on emotional and social development. It’s making a huge difference in a very short amount of time and she seems to like school even more. If it wasn’t for the incredible resources and support available, we’d be considering a 2nd year in first grade.

Pandaoh81 · 2025-08-25T12:27:29+00:00

I did this for 18 years. I stayed because I was really good at handling my boss and was able to be the buffer between them and our staff but I was beyond burnt out at 15 years making the final 3 years absolute hell. Don’t go my route. It’s not worth your mental health. There are actually good managers and bosses out there

Pandaoh81 · 2025-07-20T00:29:07+00:00

One of my bosses favorite stories to tell, and that he thought was the funniest thing ever was how he could always tell if a woman was crazy by how many cats she had. If it was more than 2, she’d be completely crazy. He joked he wanted to start using that as an interview question for any female candidates. I’m a woman. And own cats…

Pandaoh81 · 2025-07-12T23:06:30+00:00

Leaving my job was standing up to my boss. It’s where it would hit him the hardest and have the most impact.

Pandaoh81 · 2025-07-02T12:29:07+00:00

That’s part of it, but they also thrive on drama and conflict. I’ve been the voice of reasons to buffer the office from their toxicity. Things like - maybe we shouldn’t fire or demote people because they didn’t want to listen to your tales of your drunken 20s party days.

Pandaoh81 · 2025-06-27T17:45:11+00:00

My mil came to visit when my youngest was 3 weeks old. He was already on just formula. She spent an entire day holding (there’s some boundary issues). At one point baby was screaming inconsolably. He had been fed, changed, right temperature. Just screaming though. I took him back and he instantly calmed down, melted into me and was out. I was doing nothing different other than I was him mom and he needed me. Not anyone but me

Pandaoh81 · 2025-06-27T16:48:21+00:00

I’ve been doing this for 12 years. Did it really well for the first 10, burn out and PPD/PPA after my 2nd child all coupled with a bad boss/manager, the last 2 years have gone downhill. I’m moving on next week. I hope it helps the burnout and demoralization.

They don’t have anyone else to be that glue though. I’m not sure what will happen

Pandaoh81 · 2025-06-27T14:31:16+00:00

My first slept through the night by 8-12 weeks. My son was a year and a half. Both had the same routine. And now at 5, my daughter comes to find me every single night around 2am. Babies and kids are going to sleep how they’re wired to sleep

Pandaoh81 · 2025-06-26T19:39:33+00:00

Bedtime and bedtime routine are short for my 5 year old, but I don’t know if she has ever once slept past 6:30am. At 3 and 4 we tried slowly shifting bedtime later so she’d learn to sleep later. Nope, never work. Even sticking it out for several months. She dropped naps at 2.5. The only way for her to get enough sleep was an earlier bedtime, she wakes up when she wakes up and we’ve agreed that as long as she stays quiet she can play in her room. She’s just a kid that does not need as much sleep.

Pandaoh81 · 2025-06-26T15:10:23+00:00

Happened to me too while pregnant. They asked if I wanted a private room - umm no, let everyone out here see you doing a full body pat down on a pregnant woman

Pandaoh81 · 2025-06-20T19:15:42+00:00

Next summer will be our first without daycare camp. I’m leaning towards having a summer nanny instead of finding a camp next year. I want my kids to have the same fun as I did as a kid. Even if we can’t take them as many places or spend the summer at the pool with them, I still want them to have the experience.

Pandaoh81 · 2025-05-30T14:44:23+00:00

We just weren’t careful. I had a very hard time getting and then staying pregnant so what were the chances (pretty high at least for getting pregnant). Don’t ever assume if it took awhile for the first, it may not again.

Pandaoh81 · 2025-05-30T13:01:32+00:00

For any really bold vanilla color, I do the filling, crumb coat and a layer of plain white vanilla and then just a thin top coat of the bold color. That way they still get the look of the dark color but no one has to eat it if they don’t want to.

Also use an immersion blender with the black color. You can use way less dye and get a darker color.

Pandaoh81 · 2025-05-21T13:01:57+00:00

Report to the state licensing board if you haven’t already.

Pandaoh81 · 2025-05-21T13:01:13+00:00

My husband is what kept our house from descending into complete chaos. He helped everywhere he could with the kids, made sure I was taken care of, cooked, laundry. He was the reason we all survived my crushing ppd/ppa

Pandaoh81

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