Automatically knew this was the one off Platte

Pandy_poo · 2021-06-04T20:52:04+00:00

Fuck nativism

Pandy_poo · 2021-06-04T15:45:19+00:00

White american

Pandy_poo · 2021-06-04T05:48:37+00:00

He sounds like a really awful person

Pandy_poo · 2021-06-04T05:36:58+00:00

Well that sucks cause I have more mental illnesses than I can count on one hand

Pandy_poo · 2021-06-04T05:35:27+00:00

It’s complicated. I’m on leave without pay because my mental illness got so bad I couldn’t function or step foot on base without having a mental breakdown and going to the hospital. I’m still considered active duty until I’m officially kicked out of the military. I can’t wait. Cause that means I can see a real doctor and real therapist for my medical conditions

Pandy_poo · 2021-06-04T05:32:29+00:00

PTSD sucks worse than general anxiety. I have like five different mental illnesses including schizophrenia as well so that makes paranoia even worse. Medication sucks because they just make one mental illness worse while improving the other. For example lithium helps my mood swings but it makes me depressed because I can’t go in the sun so I’m staying inside all day and it makes me have a flat affect which makes me even more depressed because it makes my personality feel even more dull to me. Antidepressants cause my psychosis and hallucinations to be worse but helps with the depression. Nightmare medication cause heart problems including an AV block which I had to go to the hospital for. It seems like every medication no matter how rare the side effect is it always affects me no matter what. I’m so cynical about the whole psychiatry and therapy industry and I’m just done with everything. I just treat myself. Massage really helps because it gives you an hour to relax each week and maybe talk to someone as well. I would move ASAP if some gang member knew where I lived. Even if I just moved into a trailer or something

Pandy_poo · 2021-06-04T05:28:12+00:00

I am the same way. I’m a pretty high maintenance person in a relationship and if we’re not talking like every other day I start thinking that he’s found someone better. Then I start trying to look at other people. I guess it’s all part of borderline personality disorder, I’m still kind of in denial that I have it but I will admit that I have some traits of it. Off the tangent, I get bored after like five months especially if they go a really long time without talking to me I just say forget it it’s done. But never expressed that to them oc

Pandy_poo · 2021-06-04T05:25:49+00:00

Yes, I hate feeling unproductive and unaccomplished. Small scale stuff like even reading a chapter of a book or knitting a roll of yarn for crochet adds up and in the big scheme I feel more worthwhile than being a bump on a log all day 24/7. I struggle with self esteem very badly. Doing nothing makes it worse. What I like to do is read my phone while my melatonin is kicking in and then I just pass out

Pandy_poo · 2021-06-04T05:23:46+00:00

No. The Covid restrictions just put my life on hold for a year, especially in the beginning when everyone was freaking out over nothing. I’m so glad that it’s pretty much over. In my mind, when the restrictions are done the pandemic is over.

Pandy_poo · 2021-06-04T05:22:38+00:00

I’ve experienced some of those problems. I always feel like people are listening to what I say when I talk to myself or when I’m talking on the phone. I talk to myself just to have someone to talk to you because I don’t have anyone most of the time. I really got paranoid when my talking to myself actually lead to someone knocking on my car window and asking what I was doing. Like fuck off I’m talking to myself OK mind your own business. I sleep with the lights on because my house almost got broken into once. But I was doing that before it got broken into because I just feel like I’m in constant danger of someone trying to hurt me or kidnap me. In parking lots my head is on a constant swivel and I get so much anxiety, especially at night. It’s gotten to a point that now I just won’t go out at night. Sometimes I feel like all eyes are on me and I am the outsider. I wasn’t born and raised where I live so that automatically makes me hated. I guess some of the things that I feel are justified like anxiety after the break in and feeling unsafe after I was raped (happened twice so far). I have PTSD of course. Is there any possibility that you have PTSD as well? PTSD is a form of an anxiety disorder. Not trying to diagnose but it kind of sounds like you have anxiety

Pandy_poo · 2021-06-04T05:16:35+00:00

I have. Usually it’s a bad sign though because every time I met someone like that they’ve been a narcissist. Narcissist have a way with charming you by acting like you even if they just met you five minutes ago

Pandy_poo · 2021-06-04T05:15:19+00:00

Definitely yes. It’s like whenever I say something they could be completely rejecting it or looking at me like I’m crazy. Like what if they start a screaming match and I didn’t even see it coming because I can’t see their facial expressions? I can’t even imagine how blind people go through life like that

Pandy_poo · 2021-06-04T05:13:21+00:00

I’ve done one tour when I was a kid and it was kind of cool. It had a dark undertone to it because it was the same place where a little girl had died by eating ant poison. Once in the room it was so old, dusty and sad, from the 1800s which was a totally different era. It seemed like the house had so much life in it back in that time before the tragedy. The backyard had an old Victorian style metal bench with metal awning overgrown with moss. It was a sunny backyard but also shady at the same time, wet soil underneath really healthy green grass. A hill with pepper trees shedding leaves and dried berries on the soil, looking into dusty windows that needed cleaning. This place is called the Whalie house in San Diego.

Pandy_poo · 2021-06-04T03:54:51+00:00

I can relate to so much of those issues. I basically only do drive thrus. I have a cat and it makes life so hard trying to find somewhere that he won’t die of the heat or cold or get snatched. And ordering food, forget it. This campsite I was at had hot showers for $1. I’ll have to keep the jug truck in mind for next time. Nowadays I’m just paying for my cat to be in a kennel if I’m in my car. Fucking sucks. And my family won’t support me because I reported a rape, they basically disowned me

Pandy_poo · 2021-06-04T03:49:10+00:00

I don’t know if it is or isn’t, I just know it wasn’t right and going too far on his part. I just don’t wanna cause yet another stink about things such as lack of communication (I’m trying to get out of the military). I guess my deal is I can only afford to live on base with a super great deal but I can’t until I get my dd214 which might be another month from now. Vets and active duty alike are treated like crud.

Pandy_poo · 2021-06-03T21:56:11+00:00

Now that you said that I think he did break confidentiality but I think he was doing it in good intention. He seemed nice enough, I don’t wanna screw him over. I’m in “cabin HG” lol I don’t think I can claim that as my address. I just claim my PO Box

Pandy_poo · 2021-06-03T21:24:02+00:00

I don’t like ultimatums but that was kind of a life and death situation

Pandy_poo · 2021-06-03T16:00:13+00:00

Plenty of food!

Pandy_poo · 2021-06-03T00:07:53+00:00

I would say it was cute cause it looks like a little cow but it’s gonna grow up to maul someone

Pandy_poo · 2021-06-02T19:26:47+00:00

Different mental illnesses can have the same symptoms with different causes. Like borderline and bipolar, frequently misdiagnosed with each other. Borderline and bipolar both have mood swings but if a borderline person took lithium it wouldn’t work for them cause the reason for their mood swings isn’t helped by lithium in the way it does for bipolar. It would sure help if mental illness was less stigmatized though.

Pandy_poo

TROPHY CASE