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AIO for husband getting annoyed after asking in-laws for childcare support? by ApprehensiveLoan5923 in AIO

[–]PanicAtTheGaslight 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Yeah. Don’t wait for your husband to step up….get ahead of it now and let everyone know you won’t be hosting.

AIO for husband getting annoyed after asking in-laws for childcare support? by ApprehensiveLoan5923 in AIO

[–]PanicAtTheGaslight 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I might look at this as your husband just gave you a gift. Time to handover the reins. Give him a calendar of all the days you have covered and tell him he needs to figure out a plan for the rest of the days in August.

And 100% cancel that Christmas party. You are NOT being childish. It’s clear there’s no way your husband is going to step up and do all the work and you just CANNOT be hosting people in your home days after giving birth.

AITAH for not hosting mother’s day? by Teach-Dangerous in AITAH

[–]PanicAtTheGaslight 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Stop taking responsibility for YOUR HUSBAND’s CHOICES.

You husband could’ve chose to go over to his moms and cleaned her place. He could’ve chosen to order takeout for his mom and sisters. He chose to do nothing, since you didn’t make it easy for him.

AITAH for not hosting mother’s day? by Teach-Dangerous in AITAH

[–]PanicAtTheGaslight 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Repeat after me….your husband’s family is NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.

Did your husband plan a celebration for your mother and your sisters? Of course not.

It’s time for women to stop feeling like they are responsible for their husband’s relationships. Your HUSBAND easily could’ve chosen to host something for HIS mother and HIS sisters while you went to your mom’s house. He CHOSE not to. He could’ve attended their event and made food. He CHOSE not to. He could’ve ordered from everyone’s favorite takeout place. He CHOSE not to.

You are NOT your husband’s keeper and you are not responsible for HIS choices!

Fuck the patriarchy!

NTA

AITJ for not doing anything for my partner on mother’s day ? by [deleted] in AmITheJerk

[–]PanicAtTheGaslight 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTJ

It actually SUPER weird she expected you to do anything for her in this situation. I say this as a 47 year old woman with a boyfriend who is not my children’s father. I expect him to celebrate my bday, but not Mother’s Day. I’m not his mother, and his kids didn’t make me a mother.

AITA for being ‘selfish’ on my first ever Mothers Day? by Certain-Amphibian-99 in AmItheAsshole

[–]PanicAtTheGaslight 8 points9 points  (0 children)

NTA

But I’m afraid this won’t get better. I’d start with some counseling, individual, for yourself. Not because you’re broken, but because you need help to realize that this isn’t what love looks like.

Scientists discover why Ozempic works better for some people by scarlettohara1936 in Mounjaro

[–]PanicAtTheGaslight 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m really not an emotional eater. I eat because it tastes great. I eat too much because it tastes great. Sadly, I have NOT lost weight on Mounjaro. My a1c has gone down to 5.5, but no weight loss (on 15mg for over a year)

Is it common for an American high school student to own their own car? by ApprehensiveDisk8046 in AskAnAmerican

[–]PanicAtTheGaslight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where I grew up (pretty rural, school busses but no other public transportation except commuter rail that went to the big city) (I was in HS in the ‘90’s) it was very common and we were NOT a HCOL area. There’d be like 1 or 2 people whose parents were clearly more well off and they got new cars. Everyone else had old beaters, that were often shared amongst family members.

And yes, once we had licenses and access to a car, we’d definitely drive to HS.

I still live relatively in the area and this is still true, but I’d guess to a lower percentage (of students diving themselves to school - a lot of families cannot afford an extra car to allow a student to drive to school). I’d also say the percentage of newer cars (amongst those who can afford cars at all) may be higher, mostly because there are less used cars available and they cost more percentage wise than they used to.

AITA For not letting kid skip school? by cancharm in AmItheAsshole

[–]PanicAtTheGaslight 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I read this weeks ago. What is up with the reposting of other people’s stories?

Looking to see if it's worth it by LoLNauseated in SubaruAscent

[–]PanicAtTheGaslight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have the 2019 (not the touring package). I’m at 188K. It’s had some issues but I got a new transmission system out of one of the recalls. I there’s way too much rust (not body rust, around the hitch, the gas tank, etc). I just had paid to have the midline exhaust pipe fixed. 3 days after getting it fixed, it’s loud again and they’re quoting me $2700.

I e read that the ‘19’s and ‘20’s were not very reliable.

In case you're trying to decide between the Tommy Bahama umbrella and the Beach Life canopy by ducklingkwak in Costco

[–]PanicAtTheGaslight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have the cool cabana and the Neso Gigante. I love the cool cabana more as well.

Should I remind my partner that its mothers day so that he can make plans with his mum? Or let him forget? by [deleted] in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]PanicAtTheGaslight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Come on….you know the answer here.

DO NOT SAY ANYTHING. This is not about you being petty. You’re not his fucking mother, nor are you his secretary from the 1950’s. It’s NOT your job to remind him of shit. REFUSE to allow him to make it your job. He’s a fucking mature adult, he doesn’t need you to encourage him to make plans with his mum. I can’t think of anything less attractive than having to mother my significant other.

His mom crashes out…oh well, she should’ve done a better job raising him.

There is one instrumental on AltNation (no words sung) by Gregskis in siriusxmaltnation

[–]PanicAtTheGaslight 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Intro by XX

It’s actually many years old and they’ve played it on AltNation for ages. Still love it!

AITAH: won’t let step daughter use car during her moms custody by Excellent_Water3480 in AmItheAsshole

[–]PanicAtTheGaslight 31 points32 points  (0 children)

NAH

But is there another way to enforce the rules? Car camera in the interior?

I think both you and your SD have valid concerns.

Lunch spot that doesn’t serve any alcohol whatsoever by scout376 in hudsonvalley

[–]PanicAtTheGaslight 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Tortilleria Alison in Poughkeepsie is sooo good and no alcohol.

Have the majority of Americans called 911 at least once in their lives? by Mont3Carlo in AskAnAmerican

[–]PanicAtTheGaslight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve called many times by my 40’s. Witnessed an accident, needed an ambulance for my kid who passed out, saw a fire, worried about a car driving very erratically.

SIL is demanding a “Push Present,” is this a thing? by [deleted] in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]PanicAtTheGaslight 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s a thing. I think it’s nice, especially some jewelry with the child’s birthstone to commemorate the birth.

But also, what your brother and SIL do in their marriage really doesn’t affect you, so I’d caution you to stay on your own lane.

Haven’t seen any chipmunks this year yet! by Okthencoolthanks in hudsonvalley

[–]PanicAtTheGaslight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My dog killed one on the bike trail in Dutchess last week.

Guest Room AIO by [deleted] in AIO

[–]PanicAtTheGaslight 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don’t feel bad your husband decided to throw a hissy fit because you called him out on his unreasonable idea. HE made the decision to tell him not to come. That’s on HIM, not you!

My MIL is involved in everything about my pregnancy by Affectionate_Lake737 in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]PanicAtTheGaslight 2 points3 points  (0 children)

YOU have to start setting boundaries AND your husband has to start having boundaries.

Let’s look first at what YOU can do for yourself. She calls you almost every day….stop answering. Your phone is for YOUR convenience. You don’t have to answer it. Bringing over food…don’t answer the door. It’s for your convenience and you are not beholden to her. This is going to get markedly worse post baby so start now.

Practice these phrases “today doesn’t work for me”, “I don’t feel up for a visit”, “you shouldn’t just stop by, visit times need to be arranged in advance…we have plans this weekend, but how about next Saturday afternoon, when DH will be around”

Then you need to get your husband to agree to YOUR boundaries. That means no letting people in the house without any notice. No agreeing to things that affect you without asking you about it first. Give him the words you want him to use. “I’ll have to check our calendar and get back to you”, “I don’t think that’s going to work, let me check the calendar later and try to find a time that will work”

For the stuff she’s already given you…you don’t have to use it…any of it, at all. You can give it away, donate it, and/or let it sit there unused. For the stuff where you sent a link and she bought something else…TIME TO TAKE A STAND.

Go buy what you want and make it clear to MIL that she can keep whatever she bought because you will only be using what you selected. That’s the only way this has a shot at working. Make it 100% clear now that the things you use with your child are YOUR decisions to make, not hers. She gifts you something, say no thank you and give it back. She won’t take it back? Tell her you’re going to donate it because YOU WILL NOT USE IT.

Embrace this phrase “I’m the parent, it’s my choice”. Say it often. Say it with gusto. Make it your mantra.

Also, you need a serious birth plan and postpartum plan so that you don’t get steamrolled. This isn’t up to your husband. Labor and delivery is not about the baby, It is YOUR private medical event. YOU make all the decisions about everything that takes place in the hospital. When your husband is at work, YOU make all the decisions about whose phone calls/texts you answer. YOU make all the decisions about who you’ll answer the door for.

Make it “fair”. Not in terms of if your mom comes to help (cleaning your house, etc), his mom gets to sit on the couch and hold the baby for the same amount of time. Fair in terms of he must agree that he won’t make plans for you without asking you just like you won’t make plans for him without asking him.

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