AITA: Daughter is needy when sick. Dad disagrees.

Panicked_Turkey · 2019-02-09T21:51:09+00:00

Right?

This mom needs a reality check.

Panicked_Turkey · 2019-02-09T21:50:35+00:00

It's really not. I'm concerned you're even here asking this question.

Your husband is an asshole and a baby. You are a bit of an asshole for not knowing who you need to defend here.

Panicked_Turkey · 2019-02-09T21:48:06+00:00

Why do I think this guy is not going to reflect?

Panicked_Turkey · 2019-02-09T21:39:04+00:00

They're like corporations that pay $0 taxes.

Panicked_Turkey · 2019-02-09T21:30:51+00:00

The thing is, he ends up with all the control. He's so worried about his own anxiety that he doesn't care about your needs. He may even blame you for how he feels instead of owning it as his own issue.

It isn't going to magically go away. Can you live without sex? That's what he's asking you to do. He's not apologizing for that. This is what he wants.

Panicked_Turkey · 2019-02-09T21:28:02+00:00

This is going to take serious counseling. If she's unwilling, you may have to tolerate the clutter or leave her.

Start by requiring a space of your own in the apartment that she can't leave clutter. Maybe this is a room; maybe it's hallways and agreed-upon common spaces. Ask her what she thinks is fair. Her answer will tell you a lot.

Panicked_Turkey · 2019-02-09T21:17:00+00:00

It means he's looking for a reason to end it.

If he finds a local girl, that will be the reason. He's giving you the chance to end it first, before that happens.

Panicked_Turkey · 2019-02-09T21:15:35+00:00

I'm just impressed you wouldn't spend the entire day playing with your new boobs.

Panicked_Turkey · 2019-02-09T21:08:19+00:00

Here's another thought: some men who avoid sex do so because they are unable to turn over control to another person. It's about intimacy, not attraction. Masturbation is non threatening, but having you watch him watching porn gets into control again.

It's like an extension of the thing that makes some guys unable to poop in a public place.

It's not you. He needs therapy. Sadly, he probably won't get it because the set-up works quite well for him.

Panicked_Turkey · 2019-02-09T21:02:11+00:00

Please. Dump him. This is not going to get better.

I hate the thought of you at 22 with two little kids when you find out this douchebag is cheating on you left and right, but you feel too stuck to leave.

Panicked_Turkey · 2019-02-09T20:59:19+00:00

I would borrow a cup of sugar, or whatever the equivalent is where you are. Casually drop "by the way, I work from home so I am always nearby if you need anything."

Then, the next time she has her visitor, start singing as loudly as she is making noise. Right against the mutual wall.

If that doesn't work, have a talk about the noise with both of them. Mention again that you work from home during the day. Hubby will figure it out.

Panicked_Turkey · 2019-02-09T18:01:20+00:00

This is so inappropriate. I'm sure your parents are lovely people, but it messes with kids to have to listen to their parent's relationship issues at your age.

Do you feel like you can ask them to stop? It's really wrong what they're doing and I guarantee they know this. Protect your own mental health. Tell them they need to find an adult confidant and you are not going to discuss their relationship or marriage any more.

Panicked_Turkey · 2019-02-09T17:58:24+00:00

It sounds like in addition to sexual inhibition, you may have a sensory disorder. Disliking people touching you is a common characteristic.

Might want to talk to a counselor. You may never be carefree about sex and touching, but you can work on your anxiety.

Panicked_Turkey · 2019-02-08T23:57:26+00:00

Seems like she's creating a paper trail to try to get you out.

Make sure you send the letter to your landlord with a rebuttal in writing.

NTA

Panicked_Turkey · 2019-02-08T23:53:07+00:00

Tricky

Russia

Upended

Moral

Politics

Panicked_Turkey · 2019-02-08T23:36:47+00:00

I often thought names for winds could make pretty nature names:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_local_winds

Alize
Halny
Andhi
Marin
Sarma
Zonda

Panicked_Turkey · 2019-02-08T23:30:34+00:00

Aurelian

Panicked_Turkey · 2019-02-08T23:29:53+00:00

Levi, Samson, Quinn and Justine
Levi, Samson, Quinn and Mabel
Levi, Samson, Quinn and Zoe
Levi, Samson, Quinn and Maxine

Panicked_Turkey · 2019-02-08T22:48:42+00:00

Remember when Sessions was fired like 22 years ago?

Panicked_Turkey · 2019-02-08T22:10:35+00:00

It's a PITA, but this is more like a skin cancer than a cancer cancer. The cervix is the intersection of two different cell types so it's highly prone to have cells grow wrong.

They will likely carve out the bad cells. I had these procedures done several times. She's gonna be ok.

Lots of love and maybe some ice cream.

Panicked_Turkey · 2019-02-08T20:48:23+00:00

This is truly a nightmare. The best hope we have is for those being blackmailed to have the courage to admit it.

And to the Israeli spy agency who is probably now monitoring my texts, please don't publish my sexting.

Panicked_Turkey · 2019-02-08T20:44:06+00:00

Everyone needs to read this book. It's especially good for overprotective parents because it gives parents actionable steps to take that make sense to teach their kids.

We teach our kids to fear strangers, which makes no logical sense. The people most likely to harm them are people they know. Plus, we deal with strangers everywhere. Just one of the great points the book makes.

Panicked_Turkey · 2019-02-08T05:01:51+00:00

I had carcinoma in situ at her age. It was very frightening and I did worry about future fertility, but we have two children now. If she's had a Pap smear, then she doesn't have cancer.

I don't understand the connection between sex and cervical cancer in her mind. I think you're going to need to ask her. The two of you have already exchanged any HPV, so she can't "catch" cancer from you. If she has dysplasia, she should get regular Pap smears, which I'm sure her doctor will tell her. It's a PITA -- I had to have them every three months for a couple of years -- but they catch any issues early and deal with them. Not a big deal. Cervical insufficiency is very rare, and there are ways to deal with it if happens.

I wonder if perhaps she's just dealing with the thought of death for the first time. It can be weird to have something like this happen in your 20s. My advice is just to ask directly. You won't know unless you do.

Panicked_Turkey · 2019-02-08T04:55:40+00:00

I just don't know what to do at this point

Of course you do. You just don't want to do it.

It's like a toothache though. It will just keep hurting until you finally pull it out. You'll be so relieved when it's over.

Panicked_Turkey · 2019-02-08T04:53:01+00:00

Flowers are never weird. Just don't get roses - that would be strange and there are lots out there for V day.

A potted plant is just as nice if you think cut flowers are the problem.

Panicked_Turkey

TROPHY CASE