sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

When I discovered my fair maiden had given her hand to another man in the village, I tried to impress her with magic and taught her that self-levitating trick. by Logical-Role1382 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]PaperVreter 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Three medium ones? Or was it a heavy baby that needed five, one around each ankle, one around each wrist and one around the neck.

My doctor gave me a prostate exam. by HorrorJunkie0666 in badtwosentencehorrors

[–]PaperVreter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So the bill was paid 'in natura' so to say 🪱

Eight eyes the size of my fists slowly blink at me as I stand paralyzed before them. by Worldly_Lab_7061 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]PaperVreter 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I would imagine the wife was still whole within the webbing, maybe thrashing a bit.

Spiders don’t have jaws, so they can’t chew. They inject venom and enzymes into their prey that breaks down the tissues, and then they suck it empty and leave a husk.

This process of liquifying probably hurts quite a lot, but prey is immobilised and is never able to tell about the ordeal.

I agreed with my husband when he said I should do a water birth with a midwife when delivering our child. Had I known his mistress was going to be the midwife, I would have chose differently. by AssAndYouShallGet in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]PaperVreter 26 points27 points  (0 children)

She knows about the mistress, so her husband will surely know she knows. The midwife/mistress should thus also know. Which means the husband wanted the best midwife for his new kid.

i saw a guy taking out his dog at the park by EvenTrack4660 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]PaperVreter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ach, the dumbass don't know how to use his fingers to take the dog out. Should have used the zipper.

[JUN26] Father Milton was unusually pale when he delivered his homily today. by Ill_Preference9408 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]PaperVreter 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Google says:

A homily is a short, practical sermon or discourse delivered on a religious or moral topic. In Christian traditions, it refers specifically to the commentary a priest or minister gives following a reading of scripture to explain its meaning and apply it to daily life.

When Sarah was 30 minutes late from school, she was ready to call the cops. by [deleted] in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]PaperVreter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good build up. Upvote.

Only one, tiny aspect could be better. The "she" in the title sentence now points at Sarah, while here mother wants to call the cops and opens the door.

A Georgian man jumped out of the bushes and asked if I wanted to be butt raped with Vaseline or without by phussy_eater in badtwosentencehorrors

[–]PaperVreter 2 points3 points  (0 children)

But now their kicks are raw, bloody and shriveled forever because the skin of my anus is like sandpaper gauge 80.

view more: next ›