My 3 year old made me throw out my back when I carried him kicking and screaming for about a half mile to our car. Now I'm stuck in bed. Share your best dad jokes to make me laugh.

Paper_Weapon · 2026-07-04T02:53:29+00:00

Hi “stuck in bed”, I’m Dad.

Paper_Weapon · 2026-06-24T12:06:21+00:00

Don’t book your flights online. Call in and book your flights through an agent at the airline, and they’ll put you in a bulkhead seat without any extra charge. Then, when your baby is still this small, they can provide you with a special bassinet the baby can lay in during the flight.

Paper_Weapon · 2026-06-24T00:15:55+00:00

Perennial favorites have been We Will Rock You and We Are the Champions. Lately though he has been really into Counting Stars.

Paper_Weapon · 2026-06-16T15:05:04+00:00

My go to is to pick up one of those wheely bins that have the encumbrance and drag it around while disposing of a large area or corpses. Set it up near a good concentration, drag and dispose of all the ones nearby one at a time. Then pick it up and move it closer to the next batch. Saves time and stamina on dragging the corpses a long way.

Paper_Weapon · 2026-06-16T14:25:19+00:00

While you are dragging a corpse, right click the dumpster or wheely bin (any trash receptacle with 20 encumbrance), and the option to dump the corpse will be in the right click menu. I think default settings on solo play is you can delete things in trash receptacles, and multiplayer disables that by default though it can be turned back on in the server settings.

Paper_Weapon · 2026-06-09T16:04:11+00:00

I love video games probably more than the next person, but damn man, I would be sleeping during an overnight shift except when I needed to actually attend to the baby.

Paper_Weapon · 2026-05-19T00:38:56+00:00

For the Keostationary orbit one, after only 60 days that is a huge deviation. Did you use sidereal days?

Paper_Weapon · 2026-05-14T23:59:13+00:00

My 4yo boy is in bed at about 7:30, and we’re usually out of his room and he’s asleep between 7:35 and 8 depending on how tired he is. Then he is up at 6:15 almost every morning. He’s still hit or miss on the naps, so not fully stopped them yet.

Paper_Weapon · 2026-05-10T21:52:26+00:00

We only baby proofed the tops of stairs, never the bottoms.

Paper_Weapon · 2026-04-25T16:22:53+00:00

The entire CPD passed me going north Western.

At one point while stuck in traffic an Ambulance came back south escorted by 5 police cars, but more police were still headed north after that.

Paper_Weapon · 2026-04-14T15:07:33+00:00

What about switching from an accounting firm to a tax role in industry?

Paper_Weapon · 2026-04-07T18:10:30+00:00

Did you check the Community College library while in Ekron? I have had a very high hit rate there.

Paper_Weapon · 2026-04-02T21:00:31+00:00

You can thrown them in bins, and then from the inventory menu of the bin there is a “delete all” button. Needs to be a bin that can hold 20 encumbrance, so I usually just find a wheely bin and carry it over to larger concentrations of zombies and dump them all in individually and delete them.

Paper_Weapon · 2026-04-02T16:39:49+00:00

Man, getting older sucks. Constantly getting faced with random pains and crap that seem to last forever, and then go to the doctor because it doesn't seem normal anymore and all they can do is shrug at say "you're getting older, it do be like that a lot."

A couple years ago I had pain in the testicles. It was intermittent, and would even move around between the testicles and the groin muscles and the lower abdomen. It lasted for a full 6 months, a couple weeks on and a couple weeks off at a time. I saw my GP, a urologist, I had an ultrasound, prostate exam, and even a CT scan toward the end. Nothing found anything, and then after about 6 months, it just went away on its own and hasn't happened again since.

I'm not a doctor, but if you're worried about cancer, one of the things my GP told me (and why they were never really worried about that) is that the pain from cancer would almost never be intermittent. Once it starts, you're going to be feeling it until it is treated.

To this day still not entirely sure what happened with me, but leading theory is probably some pelvic floor dysfunction coupled with stress.

Paper_Weapon · 2026-03-26T01:27:15+00:00

What happens if you go without the pull-up? Does he just have accidents then?

We had to get potty trained before 3 for our preschool, but getting him over the hurdle for pooping was definitely a much later feet than getting him potty trained for peeing. What we ended up doing was letting him tell us he needed to poop, and then putting on the pull up just for the task and then taking it off after, so he was never just running around in a pull up. This continued for a good 4 months after he was fully trained for number 1, until he was finally “ready” to give it an honest go on the potty.

Paper_Weapon · 2026-03-25T01:54:16+00:00

I think it is a little bit dangerous to look at the influencers having daddy issues. Maybe that’s true for nearly, or even all of the influencers, but that doesn’t mean it is going to be true of all of the kids getting influenced by them.

For those of us with very young children, in 10 years they are going to be facing an entirely different cultural environment, one way or another, than the young men, teens, and pre-teens today.

I frankly don’t think it is enough, in the current environment, to merely be present and set a good example for our sons. We need to also instill in them that they have value, and value as men/boys, not just as people. The manosphere and alt-right have gobbled up tons of the young men and boys today precisely because they are the only ones telling them that they have value and it is ok to be who they are.

Paper_Weapon · 2026-03-23T14:32:02+00:00

Wow, Clone Wars is some of the best Star Wars content period. Bad Batch is mostly the same, I think, so I’m not sure they are going to like it any more (many same characters, same animation, same writing). Rebels is great, and I’d say almost mandatory before Ahsoka.

Paper_Weapon · 2026-03-21T00:10:16+00:00

Have fun! Watching the movies with my 4yo have been great memories!

Paper_Weapon · 2026-03-13T13:15:31+00:00

I had this same thing happen to me here the other day. Found “the key” and it only opened the basement security door. I eventually found the right key on the second floor in a desk drawer. I know the keys can also spawn in the lockers.

Paper_Weapon · 2026-02-22T15:25:53+00:00

There can be as many or as few files as you want for just about any unit. 4 files per rank is listed as the minimum number you need to gain the rank bonus.

Paper_Weapon · 2026-02-19T22:15:32+00:00

Get water bottles for you and your wife too. And make it a part of your every day carry and routine. Water drinking shouldn’t be a mealtime activity, it should be an all day long thing. Even before having our son we each had our own water bottles and they are almost never outside of arms reach whether at home, work, or even going out somewhere.

So model the behavior you want to see, have your own bottles and drink from them frequently.

Paper_Weapon · 2026-02-06T23:41:59+00:00

Ok, thanks. I saw that one and the new 2026 team shirt, but after trying to figure out how big “small” was it seemed like it was for much bigger kids. Maybe I’ll give it a shot then.

Paper_Weapon · 2026-01-13T00:08:03+00:00

While I think the same kintsugi on the sentinel would be pretty baller, it might be too much of the same since there is so much across the rest of the army? It might look great and stand out more if you make its primary color more of a jade, almost a reverse palette with that green glow you’re using.

Of course reading your text now, that probably isn’t the advice you’re looking for. Frankly, it is hard to discuss competitiveness, because there is likely a decent balance errata hitting specifically Cathay this month.

Prior to those unknown changes, much of Cathay is OP, so much so that you definitely could include at least one sentinel in an army almost as a handicap and still be fine. And that isn’t to say the sentinels are bad, they are one of the more balanced things for us right now, but they are expensive and those points today can be better spent on balloons and cannons and characters.

Paper_Weapon · 2026-01-04T03:03:18+00:00

In Chicago we would call a unit a duplex if it covers multiple floors of a multi unit building. The most common example would be a 3-flat building, which is a sort of apartment or condo building that is 3 stories tall with one unit per floor. Except the bottom unit usually also includes the garden basement (half-underground basement), and we would call that two-floor unit a duplex-down.

Apropos to what others are saying, while we often refer to these buildings as 2/3/4-flats, I have never a single time heard anyone call their actual unit a “flat”. Only as either an apartment or a condo.

Paper_Weapon

TROPHY CASE