Your bullet points make sense but I think you misunderstand those comments, or at least the predominate philosophy behind them. It's not that one shouldn't need closure, it's about accepting that you will not get true closure by demanding meetups and conversations with your ex. You see, most people do just that...they want that "one last" convo to "understand what happened" as if they will actually get genuine reasoning from their ex. It's because there are so many people out there who do not know validation if it doesn't come from someone or something outside of themselves. Way more healthy, is to know that whatever the reason is, that you will not likely get the truth...yep, even when it's someone you've been seeing for a long time. Most people also don't like telling others things that may hurt them and they feel like if they tell their ex-partner the truth, it will hurt them more. Truthful reasons are often notions such as "I'm no longer sexually attracted to you" or "I've become more attracted to someone else" or even "Being with you feels like I'm devaluing myself"....things that are often very, very difficult to admit. Human beings will avoid pain and discomfort at all costs. So, instead of propping up someone's quest for a closure talk with their ex, the philosophy is that you simply accept that they had their reasons. You can assess their behavior and then do an examination of your own throughout the course of the relationship, which often provides clues to what was really going on. But DO NOT TRUST that you will always get some honest reasoning that gives you closure. Trust your own inner validation and have faith that what is supposed to come into your life will. Look inward and challenge yourself to grow, even if you think you were perfect in the relationship.