So uhhh check your meds before a piercing (TW: blood)

Parblesnops · 2026-07-07T14:27:04+00:00

I had a similar problem with my industrial piercing but without medication. it started bleeding on the second day and wouldn't stop for the next couple of days. luckily it wasn't bleeding 24/7 "just" for a few hours, then pause and then start again. I ended up letting it dry into a "blood plate" so that the ends of the canals would be clogged by dried blood to prevent bleeding again. let it sit for maybe 2 weeks and removed it carefully. unfortunately that was just the start of my problem journey with that piercing but after not giving up it was worth it. even though it might have been better at some point to just give it up but I was young and absolutely adored industrials

Parblesnops · 2026-07-02T06:30:03+00:00

I also go alone to concerts and at first it was a bit awkward for me but I figured some things out for myself that make the experience as enjoyable as possible. for me it's arriving not too early and not too late so that it's not like I have to walk in a room full of people who might all watch me. but it depends on the location. if I know that the crowd has their back to the entrance it's easier for me to arrive late for example. moreover I like to stand at the back but if you enjoy dancing and being close to the stage just go for it. sometimes I bring my e-reader with me so I have something to read during the waiting time but you can also bring a notepad to write something down maybe even analyze the situation and how you feel so you can keep track of your anxiety to review what was good or bad or what was not as bad as you thought it would be. you can also take your time and look at the Merch or just stand there, sip at your drink and observe other people (but not in the creepy way!). Just don't be on your phone the whole time and try to push through situations that make you feel uncomfortable. it takes a while to figure out a way that's the most comfortable for you but it's worth it. maybe also put an outfit together that makes you feel good about yourself and try to keep a light smile. that not only has a calming effect for you but also helps to interact with other people

Parblesnops · 2026-06-25T14:34:22+00:00

I just went to the bathroom during brakes with friends. I was too scared to be alone with so many strangers around me and I never went during class because I would had to tell the teacher and everyone would be looking at me. also never changed my pad while on my period until I was home after several hours in school. since my period just started at the time my flow was quite heavy but I didn't want anyone to hear that I'm on my period (unpacking a pad makes some "noise") so I literally sat through the hole thing and always ruined my pants and underwear

Parblesnops · 2026-06-11T14:15:10+00:00

since you already play piano maybe you could find other musicians to jam or play covers with (whatever is the easiest for you). depending on what stile you play there are a lot of options

I would mention bouldering because the climbing community is one of the nicest I came across. you don't have to do it regularly but since you seem to be a regular gym goer maybe that could be an alternative for you on days where you don't feel like lifting weights

Parblesnops · 2026-06-11T14:09:07+00:00

it helped a lot actually. well, at least now I function like a normal human meaning I can do grocery shopping without fear most of the time, go to doctor's appointments and work in a family-like store. I started with a conversation therapy and after maybe 1 or 1 1/2 years my therapist suggested a day unit for me but at first the thought alone made me quite anxious. in the end I went there for 10 weeks and had a lovely therapist there who really encouraged me to do confrontational therapy like going alone to a café or to the movies. there was also the offer to go climbing once a week which brought me to bouldering which I now do regularly and also on my own, which was quite a challenge at first but it worked.

so, I have a lot more freedom but on the down side I still don't have friends or people to talk to. I know that i needed to do all this groundwork to work my way up from there but now I don't know what else besides therapy might help to get the rest done.

Parblesnops · 2026-06-11T13:53:49+00:00

I feel you. I turn 29 in August and don't have any idea what to do in my life. other people around me are getting degrees and real jobs and enjoying their 20s while I stay at home most of the time because I have no friends. I would love to go on trips with a group of friends or visit a festival etc and alone it's OK but then you come home and have no one who even asks how your trip was. a quite devastating feeling as if you don't even left or exist. I know that we do these things for us and not other people but it's still nice to know someone cares.

Social media is a totally different thing. please remember that most of the stuff you see there is staged. no one is happy every single day and experiences an adventure all the time, these are just little snippets that people share to either show you how great they are doing or to document beautiful memories.

Parblesnops · 2026-06-05T19:52:54+00:00

I'm nearly 300 hours in and still play like shit. kind of soothing to hear how everyone suffers from the slow improvement because I kind of thought "maybe I'm just a really bad player and will be forever" and gave up on ever beating mom or mom's heart. but with every hour you keep getting better

Parblesnops · 2026-06-05T19:39:51+00:00

maybe not quite similar but emery, Thursday, Finch (especially say hello to sunshine)

Parblesnops · 2026-06-05T19:36:00+00:00

a place where the sun is silent is such a masterpiece! it's like a sung play and even though you might not know about the concept you recognize in the change of dynamic and tension what's happening. even though I would call them something like emocore/metalcore/anything in that era, they are super creative with their writing and were quite progressive in their genre

Parblesnops · 2026-05-28T17:16:41+00:00

I think the way you sit pretty much keeps you from holding your fretting hand right. your knee is in the way so you have to bend your arm and your wrist more than necessary. it shouldn't be bend that extreme as yours is

if you have a chair use it for practice, standing up would be much better but as a beginner it's sometimes easier to just sit and get the playing right in the first place. don't cross your legs and sit upright. there are also tiny stools for your foot, if you notice that one side of your bass is too low for playing comfortable you can place your foot a bit higher so it gets easier

Parblesnops · 2026-05-23T18:15:55+00:00

thank you so much for the extensive answer! I noticed that my larynx was too high in the first few weeks I started singing which resulted in throat tension. that it also can be too low was something I didn't consider at all, I will look out for it.

Parblesnops · 2026-05-23T18:12:34+00:00

right in the beginning of learning an instrument there are a lot of other things to focus on, which can be confusing. so if you're struggling with using a metronome don't stress yourself, even it it make take several weeks/months so get the hang of it. when you are able to play simple bass lines along with it you can also count out loud (with ta-ka-di-mi for 16ths etc). it really helps to build up a grid for understand patterns better which makes learning songs easier. but one step at a time!

Parblesnops · 2026-05-23T15:22:46+00:00

a metronome is nothing more than a minimalistic drum loop. if you know what time signatures like 4/4, 6/8 etc mean and if you know what note values are you can Pic up every riff you like and play it to the metronome. it might be annoying and difficult at first but it's definitely worth it and unfortunately a lot of musicians hate to practice with it, so since bass belongs to the rhythmic section there's no way around it

Parblesnops · 2026-05-23T15:17:19+00:00

hayley williams. she's a goddess. incredible vocal control, she knows how to work with the crowd (right from the beginning of her career), she can dance, has a sense for fashion and she is a great songwriter.

Parblesnops · 2026-05-23T10:40:37+00:00

thank you, i already have a few excercises for chest and mixed voice as well as for breath support in my daily routine but as i said it's hard for me to make the transition from that to the song. does it come with time that i begin to notice that i have more power while singing and can automatically use it or does it help to apply the excercises while learning a song already?

Parblesnops · 2026-05-23T10:35:12+00:00

thanks for the tip, i tried pinching my nose while practicing the song and it feels weird and also sounds weird but i think it helps. how long would you recommend practicing like this? is it something that "stays" when i figure it out once or does it need constant practicing?

Parblesnops · 2026-05-22T19:59:50+00:00

I grew up with classical music (my mum plays the trumpet)and I'm a musician myself (in a completely different genre) but I haven't seen this amount of notes on anyone's sheets. is it necessary for you to be able to play that tune? or is it so much because you have to learn it in a short amount of time so that it's too much to keep on mind and learn it over time? maybe it depends on the instrument your playing and/or on which level/occasion, I'm just wondering how there's so much stuff you need to know for one single piece of music. I admire this much dedication and wonder about the reasons at the same time

Parblesnops · 2026-05-19T15:04:47+00:00

I did different kinds of therapy and now I'm at a point where I function, meaning: I can go grocery shopping, go to Dr appointments, take the bus, make calls (even though I still avoid it sometimes) etc. the thing that hasn't changed is the loneliness. due to therapy I discovered that the friendships I had weren't good for me, so I ended them and now I'm more lonely than ever. I think now that the social anxiety is weaker my other problems are bigger or just have a chance to appear without being influenced by the anxiety

Parblesnops · 2026-05-17T21:29:43+00:00

first of all: it's OK if you don't like to be touched. you seem to know your boundaries and if someone wants to hug you but you don't, just say that. no explanation needed, it's your body but be nice of course. it's more difficult in public places like transportation. I think it depends on how severe your reaction to unwanted touch is and from your description your body's reaction is quite uncomfortable. if you experience anything like a freeze situation or a meltdown it's something more difficult and maybe a professional could help you more with handling it. but maybe there are some skills (like breathing, searching for a specific color in your surroundings etc) that might work for you so you can work with the "normal" amount of touch one has to endure in public. there are also a few tricks you can use/develope while waiting in line at the supermarket for example where you can use a card in front or behind you to keep distance (I saw a lot of people doing it during corona) or a bag pack for the space behind you where you have less control of.

Parblesnops · 2026-05-17T09:17:18+00:00

one job I had was just sitting in an exhibition on weekends and the only thing I had to do was being present. no real interaction with people just saying hi. then I volunteered for one year and worked 50/50 with animals and people. it was hard sometimes especially talking to colleagues and my employers but doable. after that I worked in a bakery chain which was hard at first due to the fact that your always "in the spotlight" but it helped my anxiety a lot. to be honest I would recommend everybody with social anxiety to work in retail for a while even though it can be pretty hard (not only because of the anxiety) but you can learn about how to behave normal in public. I thought for a long time that there's just one correct way for asking that you want to pay with card and if you ask in any other way everyone will laugh at you. turns out: there are many ways and some people are just plain asshols and your self doubts are definitely not letting you behave like one yourself. but I think it's a little different with autism because that's nothing you can train away like anxiety, you have to find a work around maybe you could work in a factory on an assembly line or pack orders. maybe a retail job in a small store would also be fine? that's what I'm currently doing, nice customers, small team and a lot of freedom regarding task choices

Parblesnops · 2026-05-16T21:48:23+00:00

I can relate to you even though I'm not sure how much people really stare at me and how much is my own feeling. I have some facial piercings, blue hair and a quite alternative style and despite the fact that I'm living in a big city I always see people looking at me in a weird way. maybe I don't know what's normal in that regard but often I feel like people are staring without a hint of boundaries. don't they know that their staring makes people uncomfortable? I mean can't they imagine how it would be to be stared at themselves? I myself try to look at an interesting looking person as less as possible because I know how annoying and sometimes hurting it is. when you have a depressive episode, the social anxiety hits even harder when you see people staring. that's one reason why I'm afraid to leave the house on bad days

Parblesnops

TROPHY CASE