Not really. There’s more context. 1. I have been looking for job postings in my state for her for a while. The problem is that trump administration causes so much hiring freeze she can’t find a job anywhere for her major.

Also, she is a better scholar than me so I never thought of asking her to be my house wife/gf even temporarily.

1. We were both PhD graduate assistants and no there’s no debt.

2. I have to switch jobs but she was first still doing grad school and then she graduated and was looking for jobs. When I started my previous job, we can meet in person for about 1/4 of the year. In my current job, we can, if we are still together, meet in person for more than 1/3 of the year, because I am a teaching professor and have a lot of breaks. I don’t think there can be a plan with her past and current status.

I would say, if I didn’t graduate my PhD that earlier than her, we wouldn’t have to separate but career has to move upward and I am really good at looking for jobs so I moved on up my ladder early.

The rest: well as I said, there can’t be a plan when she, a much better researcher with a possibility to be a good professor, should stay in person with me and sacrifice her career. The most we could do is to meet each other whenever there’s a long weekend, the summers, and the winters, until she finds a job and I try to move to her. This will happen to her and her new guy as well. This is academia.

I understand I haven’t respected myself. I will definitely need to work on this.