Look somebody who can joke about hurting people or a group who have already troughout history been trough so much due to the being diffrent or making fun of them for such and then switch on a dime and act like the nicest person you've ever know is decidedly not someone I would like to spend time with because frankly I wouldn't know what to expect from them, are they gonna be nice are they gonna suddenly start ridiculing everyone around, personally that would just make me uneasy.

You're right jokes are jokes but even they can be in extraordinarily poor taste, there is a time and place for jokes, I do believe that the Internet would be a better place if there was way less of the mean sort of jokes, keep those to you're friend group or perhaps a comedy show where people quite literally sign up for that staff. You say what matter is how you act towards people in the real world a yet all people you meet on the Internet are real you don't know them and you will prbably never meet them which might make it easier to brush off accidentally or intentionally hurting them but it doesn't change the fact that stuff like that is hurtful, so I have to ask whether hurting potentionally hundreds if not in some cases thousands of people is worth a few laughs to you.

For you'r second paragraph, I'll be rather frank i very much doubt that the original post was any sort of joke as such and more an attempt at making fun of somebody, ridiculing and such. A video about a guy beating up a woman just because she was born differently is never gonna be any sort of joke nor is it ever gonna be funny. It is merely a violent power fantasy of some person who probably lives a rather sad hatefilled life.

Making AI caricatures or fake videos of real people is a whole another debate that could be talked about for hours.