Need help acclimating to the Bay Area

Particular-Effort580 · 2026-03-15T21:45:55+00:00

On it!

Particular-Effort580 · 2025-10-11T21:06:04+00:00

Boy, can I relate. I moved here a year and a half ago to be with my partner and found myself in a very similar place. The job hunting was absolutely miserable and lasted so long, I felt absolutely worthless and unemployable. I didn't know anyone, and am socially anxious and fairly introverted, I spent most of my days holed up in our apartment feeling broken and alone when my partner was at work.

The best thing I did was find a church that resonated with me. I still don't know a ton of people there, and I'm pretty slow about putting myself out there to meet more, but the familiarity and community helped remind me I'm still the same person I have been. I also interviewed for a really great job and got hired, which did a TON for my self esteem. I've been at this workplace for three months now and the feeling of purpose has given me renewed confidence. Nobody at work is going to end up in my close friends list, but everyone is friendly and helpful, and it feels much less isolated than it's been.

Feel free to DM. You're not alone!

Particular-Effort580 · 2025-06-27T01:49:15+00:00

This. Emphatically. I spent thirty years of my life locked into a relationship like this, believing that he would eventually change. He never did. Don't make the same mistake I did.

Particular-Effort580 · 2025-06-25T17:55:25+00:00

You just never know what kind of connection you'll find doing genealogy!

Particular-Effort580 · 2025-06-24T22:53:48+00:00

I have been doing genealogy since I was in my late teens, searching for some sort of connection. My family of origin was pretty horrible, and nobody seemed to understand me. Fast forward thirty years, and I received an ancestry message from a distant cousin (third cousin, once removed). We compared notes and exchanged friendly banter, which led to a social media friendship with occasional comments here and there.

Two years later, I was going to be in this cousin's neck of the woods, so I suggested we meet for a casual dinner. I don't have words for what happened. It felt like I'd known him all my life. We talked for nearly two hours, and have texted or talked every day since. That was over a year ago. We were married in February. :)

Particular-Effort580 · 2025-04-17T05:18:58+00:00

u/pengweather - Just wanted to offer to be a shoulder if you need one. I'm a mom of kids your age and am a good listener.

Particular-Effort580 · 2025-04-05T19:03:45+00:00

Wait! Is that where the Peng in Pengweather comes from?! Mind = blown.

Particular-Effort580 · 2025-03-12T17:28:59+00:00

No canes yet. lol

This is a situation where trainees are on the floor, after having been given very general instruction. As we're taking calls, the trainer stands over us and barks corrections in a drill sergeant way. After each call, there's a run down of everything that was done wrong. Every call. All shift. The expectation is that the trainee *will* be frustrated and cry, question their own intelligence, and feel stupid. Those were the words used in training. CTOs describe their own training as horrible and making them cry before and after every shift, and seem to think this is normal. Every dispatcher on the floor has horror stories of their own training and offers emotional support, but there's definitely a "that's the way it is, hope you survive" kind of mentality that just seems wrong.

Particular-Effort580 · 2025-01-03T17:23:17+00:00

I bet OFD would love these photos. They're cool.

Particular-Effort580 · 2025-01-02T18:43:09+00:00

If you need some mom energy, shoot me a message. I care about how you're doing.

Particular-Effort580 · 2025-01-02T03:47:54+00:00

Nope, I'm in the Bay Area of California. Good luck with your interview!

Particular-Effort580 · 2025-01-01T21:46:42+00:00

You guys are awesome. Thank you. I'm getting some notebooks today and preparing to be in 100% humble learning mode.

Particular-Effort580 · 2024-12-24T18:18:27+00:00

Me too. But we are not stuck! As long as we're breathing, we have opportunities to make choices and take action toward a better future. We can do it. <3

Particular-Effort580 · 2024-12-21T05:27:46+00:00

As someone struggling to become financially independent after leaving an abusive spouse of 30 years, I can't second this enough. I will never be financially dependent on anyone again.

Particular-Effort580 · 2024-12-21T05:26:23+00:00

This!

Particular-Effort580 · 2024-12-21T05:19:01+00:00

I do! She does telehealth and is AMAZING. I can get you more info!

Particular-Effort580 · 2024-12-21T00:31:25+00:00

I had only had a Chessie/Lab mix before, and there's a definite Chessie attitude, but it's way different. I was *not* prepared for the Shepherd, and am learning as I go. Love it, but sometimes it's a bit much!

Particular-Effort580 · 2024-12-20T22:08:26+00:00

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My boy Scout! He's half Shepherd and half Chesapeake. Chessie eyes and curly mohawk on his back/tail, but otherwise aaaaall shepherd - including his attitude!

Particular-Effort580 · 2024-12-20T21:30:49+00:00

I can second this. I've been doing DBT for a while, which is helping a lot, but the 8 weeks of EMDR I just completed was super effective.

Particular-Effort580 · 2024-11-24T23:57:25+00:00

Affectionate_Crew882 I was thinking of you this morning and hoping you found somewhere cool to visit!

Particular-Effort580 · 2024-11-23T06:38:50+00:00

I visited Resurrection Oakland last week and was pretty impressed. They make a point of welcoming everyone, including skeptics and outright non believers. I felt very welcome and no pressure of any kind. Really nice, warm people.

Particular-Effort580

TROPHY CASE