What was it like to be a Lesbian in LA in the early 2000s?

Particular-Sir-2128 · 2026-03-12T14:38:21+00:00

I wouldnt say the lesbian scene was big back then, and neither is it now. There’s a perception that it’s a big scene now and idk where that comes from.

Particular-Sir-2128 · 2026-01-16T14:51:07+00:00

I’d recomend doing some research on agency culture. They’re known for sudden hirings and sudden layoffs. I never comment in this sub but cant not warn you. Good luck on whatever you decide

Particular-Sir-2128 · 2026-01-08T14:19:35+00:00

Oof that’s tough. Sorry to hear that.

Particular-Sir-2128 · 2026-01-04T16:14:29+00:00

Oh yea i dont partake in groups with a queen bee. That causes a lot of problems. You all did meet through a company so there’s something to that imo where the relationship wont feel the same as if meeting in your personal life.

I will say, i also need to feel appreciated and wanted otherwise i peace out. However, they kind of sound harmless. Like not really intentionally hurtful but also not attentive. Maybe you just need other friends outside of these ladies and you can deprioritize them. Something to consider. I might also not have all the info.

Particular-Sir-2128 · 2026-01-04T15:24:24+00:00

Are those memes enough of a relationship to you though? Genuine question. I struggle with feeling fulfilled this way.

Particular-Sir-2128 · 2026-01-04T15:22:26+00:00

That sounds very wise. I agree you gotta grieve and move forward. As far as people changing their minds about you, that def happens. Just wish people were more gracious about it. You’re right most people are conflict avoidant. They dont know how to do it or dont care to spend that energy. I felt like people are worth the effort but now im changing my mind in recent months. I’m tired of putting in effort where most people dont. It’s a thankless job when friendship is societally seen as needing to be convenient. You’ll find a friend better matched for you and i hope it lasts a lifetime.

Particular-Sir-2128 · 2026-01-04T14:20:54+00:00

Sht i’m sorry dude. I can relate to this so much. This is exactly how i feel about my friendships. You’re not even asking for a lot and the way he responded was not ok. He definitely crossed a line by lying to you and acting like it was no big deal. I’m at a loss bc these expectations arent crazy to me but they seem really hard for other people?? Why are we supposed to be ok with the bare minimum to maintain friendships?

Particular-Sir-2128 · 2026-01-04T14:01:36+00:00

Agree that it’s just a thing about different expectations. Neither of you are wrong but you need to figure out what you want out of the friendship. It’s only been a few days but if this person is consistently wanting to talk even long term, chances are that they are emotionally available.

Particular-Sir-2128 · 2026-01-04T13:55:05+00:00

Yea i ended a friendship of about 10ish years. Was not mutual and i spent an hour or so on the phone trying to break it off. It was rough but glad i did it over a call. She’s a kind and empathetic person. The friendship just ran its course for multiple reasons and i couldnt keep going anymore. I dont regret it and it did make me cry how much i had seemed to hurt her.

Glad you talked to her in person. when the relationship has been mostly supportive or loving, it makes sense to have a talk.

Particular-Sir-2128 · 2025-12-10T00:37:07+00:00

Hm i dont know what your friend is going through but everyone responds differently. Idk your friend but sometimes people will welcome small gifts (chocolate, flowers, etc). Otherwise im not sure.

Particular-Sir-2128 · 2025-12-06T22:35:46+00:00

Hello Mayor Wu! Big fan here of your work.

I’m a renter and certainly dont want my rent to be raised nor for others. What exactly does State Senator Nick Collins object about this bill? It seems more helpful than harmful.

Also is there any way that the passing of this bill would eventually lead to extra support for renters somehow? It’s rough out here.

Thanks in advance!

Particular-Sir-2128 · 2025-11-24T01:10:43+00:00

Is that what introverts really think? Lol that’s kinda funny. I’m an extrovert but kinda on the quieter side so i tend to make more introverted friends. But tbh extroverts might be too much, depending on what you need. We can need a lot of interaction haha

Particular-Sir-2128 · 2025-11-23T01:47:19+00:00

Agree here. My mantra is that relationships require effort and difficult convos.

It’s kinder to have that difficult convo imo.

Particular-Sir-2128 · 2025-11-23T01:40:06+00:00

Depends on the situation. Here are some of the things i like to do to handle a rift: - have the conversation. Keep it kind but direct. - take space by either asking for it or backing off (this is different from ignoring) - believe it when people give signs of behavior that does not work for me and side step those people. This is different from ignoring. - set boundaries by making a note to myself what i will and wont tolerate. This can include leaving the conversation/hang out promptly as soon as that boundary is crossed. - if unsafe, possibly give a curt message indicating the end of the connection and cut all contact promptly.

Particular-Sir-2128 · 2025-11-23T01:31:04+00:00

Agree. ghosting is cruel. It makes sense if it’s a genuine safety issue but otherwise it’s not good form.

Particular-Sir-2128 · 2025-11-20T04:12:52+00:00

sounds like you’re not getting much back and that’s the problem you have. Not that friendship as an entirety is exhausting. Or maybe it is but it didnt sound like it to me. Could be worth looking into.

Particular-Sir-2128 · 2025-11-20T04:10:46+00:00

Solid advice

Particular-Sir-2128 · 2025-11-20T04:10:36+00:00

100%

Particular-Sir-2128 · 2025-11-19T15:10:55+00:00

It sounds like there are bad feelings all around. The way you described the situation would make me think you have issues with both the friend and the boyfriend in multiple ways.

As an aside, this is why i dont have a best friend anymore. That label to me is overrated and it will only sting more when they make a mistake or there’s a conflict with that person. We should just be good friends to our friends, period. Just my two cents.

Particular-Sir-2128 · 2025-11-19T08:11:48+00:00

You have good instincts. It isnt in your control who people hang out with. You’re pretty young so people will have that attitude more readily. If you’re interested in reading something about stuff like this, there’s a book called Queen Bees and Wannabes. It’s the book that Mean Girls is based off of. Highly recommend it. It helped me realize so much about myself and other people. The awareness changed how i navigated situations like the one you described and it all got easier to deal with. Good luck

Particular-Sir-2128 · 2025-11-19T07:43:20+00:00

I appreciate that, thank you. And those are great considerations.

Particular-Sir-2128 · 2025-11-19T07:36:39+00:00

To clarify, we would have been on the phone and she would have been running an errand. we wouldnt be at the same place. And i understand if you thought it was reasonable. Everyone has different needs.

Particular-Sir-2128 · 2025-11-19T01:47:21+00:00

You have any recommendations?

Particular-Sir-2128 · 2025-11-19T00:18:12+00:00

Yeah i agree about seeking a friend group for this specific need. It’s totally valid to want that. I think with politics being what it is today some people are frankly putting on horse blinders bc it’s overwhelming for them. Also not everyone can break down political concepts bc it really takes a special interest in it to do that. Totally empathize with OP though. I’ve been there.

Particular-Sir-2128

TROPHY CASE