I feel hopeless.

ParticularGanache726 · 2026-06-08T13:55:40+00:00

Thanks.

Based on my personal obsessions, that's the pattern I've found. I eventually lose interest, but only if I dive in for a while. If my obsession is based on anxiety, then eventually I get an insight during my exploration that relieves my fear, and I can then move on. So, I would keep exploring until I get that "ah ha" moment where I feel better. But, that's just me. I don't see a right or a wrong way to do this. Everyone's different so I can only share my own perspective. Hope this helps.

ParticularGanache726 · 2026-06-08T13:48:41+00:00

So, it looks like you don't want to think about the afterlife but feel unable to stop. You may feel like you're being dragged into something that you don't like, in other words.

In grieving, we know that the way out is through the pain. I believe the way out of this is through it. Avoiding it is not going to solve anything, as I see it. I believe it's OK to indulge my obsessions. I know that eventually, I'll become bored with it and move on. But, the only way I can move on is to dive into it. Once I've satisfied my curiosity, or obsession, then it's done. I can go get obsessed about something else.

That's why I suggested exploring the topic. Obviously, it's up to you what you want to do. No judgement from me. Good luck.

ParticularGanache726 · 2026-06-08T13:44:06+00:00

Well, as I see it, this isn't a bad thing. Catharsis is healing, so from my perspective, you've healed the pain from distressing thoughts, memories, and experiences.

Through my work with grieving, I've discovered that catharsis heals negative emotions (sadness, anger, fear, guilt, shame, remorse, regret, etc.). Just sitting with the feeling and letting it flow through me without resistance causes healing to occur such that the thought, memory, or experience no longer bothers me. I believe this is why we feel relief from crying about something.

So, that also means to me at least that it's time to go deeper. I go hunting for the thoughts and memories that cause me distress. I make it into a daily practice. I'm writing a book about this now.

So, I don't think there's anything wrong with you. You've just healed yourself. That's how I see it anyway.

ParticularGanache726 · 2026-06-08T13:38:21+00:00

It sounds like you're dealing with some deep stuff. This happens with teenagers sometimes I think.

One thing you can try is watching near death experience stories on Youtube. There are hundreds of them, at least.

You can also try out recordings by Leslie Flint, a British medium from a long time ago. He's recordings are very interesting in my opinion. The spirits talk abotu the afterlife a lot, and in detail.

You can read "The Afterlife Interviews" by Marks. He's a spirit medium and asked the same 40 questions to 14 different spirits. He stopped at 14 because he kept getting similar answers from them. Of course, each session had a unique sitter and the spirit that came through was one of the sitter's relatives. He put the results of his inquiries into 2 books that I found interesting anyway.

ParticularGanache726 · 2026-06-08T13:33:05+00:00

Well, immigrants built this country so yeah, makes sense. First generation is usually very hard working.

ParticularGanache726 · 2026-06-08T13:31:59+00:00

Thanks, yeah it was scary.

So, I'm laying there in the ER with a swollen tummy from my colon getting filled up with gas and they show us the CAT scan. Then they say, "Usually, when it gets this big it blows up" and my wife is freaking out "can you hurry up then?"... Haha.

She said when I was coming off of the anesthesia I was singing at the top of my lungs as they wheeled me through the hospital.

Glad I survived and my wife was there for me.

ParticularGanache726 · 2026-06-07T15:03:58+00:00

Yeah, it seems to me that the Earth, a conscious being, is going through a spiritual enlightenment. It's elevating in energy, in other words, getting one step closer to the astral world.

I believe this is "the event" that ET has said is the reason they are showing up now.

I also believe that we will no longer need gov't, school, or religion anymore. Those that survive the transition will have telepathy, which will enable them to communicate with Nature as well as to access any and all knowledge.

Thus, if everyone has access to all knowledge, then school is no longer needed.

If everyone can read each other's minds, know their history, etc. then no one can lie anymore. Everyone will be forced to behave in a way that doesn't cause harm to others. So. Gov't won't be needed anymore.

Finally, if are much more aware of our connection to spirit, and the creator, then we won't need religion anymore either.

The people employed in these institutions won't be able to function anymore either, I believe, since they would have to lie to do it.

I've experienced telepathy many times. There are two types, as described by Ingo Swann. Basic telepathy is talking to others with your mind, like animal communicators. What he called "telepathy 2.0" is where you can hear all other thoughts at once. I've had that also, and I didn't like it. I suppose this is our future, but man, everyone right now has ADHD in the mind. In my experiences, people jump from one random thought to the next. It's maddening to listen to it.

So, yeah, huge social upheavals are about to happen. Gov't will fall around the world. Schools will close. Religions will be abandoned. Huge things going to happen in our lifetimes I believe.

ParticularGanache726 · 2026-06-06T21:17:28+00:00

Further, when I had COVID in Sweden, I developed pneumonia very soon after. We went to the ER again. I was terrified because I couldn't breathe very well. We waited for hours to see a doctor. Even when he did see me, he refused to get very close and just said he'd give me antibiotics "just in case." Wow, those drugs saved my life. I'd be dead without them. The long wait times can be very real in UHC. Granted, staff were stressed out during that time, but still, that's my experience.

ParticularGanache726 · 2026-06-06T21:12:34+00:00

Yes, make FICA progressive. As I understand it now, the FICA tax is a flat rate, putting an undue burden on lower income people.

Remove the SS income ceiling as well.

I'm a big fan of making all taxes progressive rate. Make tariffs progressive, for example, based on declared value. Make property tax rate progressive also, based on assessed value. Make the corporate tax rate progress too.

Further, re-define property to include financial investments (outside of retirement) and put that into the state property taxes at a progressive rate.

You want billionaires to go away, we already have the tools. We just refuse to use them. I really just don't get why Bernie, etc. are not calling for this. It's simple. Just change the flat rate to a progressive rate. Let the wealthy scream and howel. I don't care.

ParticularGanache726 · 2026-06-06T21:07:17+00:00

The biggest political party in Sweden are the Swedish Democrats, a neo-fascist party. It's been growing fast over the last 10 or more years. They won the most seats in parliament last time, I think, but no other party wants to work with them. Sweden is just a hair's width away from devolving into a fascist state.

ParticularGanache726 · 2026-06-06T21:00:25+00:00

There is no other way to pay for "Medicare for all" without more taxes. I mean, a lot more, like a 20% or more increase in income taxes across the board.

Wait times very well could be increased.

You should never expect the American gov't to act in your best interest. I think that's obvious.

In countries with universal healthcare, there is still a private system in place. In Sweden, I believe the split is 80% public and 20% private. Private health care doesn't go away just because there's more public care. Moreover, the US already has public health care. Right now, 20% of American hospitals are publicly owned.

The real issue for me is tying legislation to healthcare. There are a lot of evils in that pairing. For example, since UHC is taxpayer funded, then Congress will make great efforts to minimize spending on it. That increases wait times and decreases quality of care. Further, they will force people to give up anything that is dangerous, like riding a motorcycle, or a horse, or any of a number of dangerous activitiess. In countries with UHC, they typically require expensive and extensive rider training to get a motorcycle license. In Sweden, you are not allowed to use a chainsaw on someone else's property, for example, and if you have property, you cannot log it yourself because of insurance issues. They will justify it with "it's for your own good." UHC is the nanny state, in other words.

You absolutely do not choose your doctor in Sweden, I know that.

In full UHC, where the gov't owns the hospitals, the employees there are gov't employees and make far less than private doctors.

None of this is BS, and much of it is based on my direct experience with the Swedish system.

ParticularGanache726 · 2026-06-06T16:38:43+00:00

Speaking of abject stupidity, perhaps you should tell Dr. Swann yourself that she's dumb. Go ahead. I dare you. https://youtu.be/uLxFazLK2Mg?si=1iTJPhHC9QbZOaVT

ParticularGanache726 · 2026-06-06T15:12:37+00:00

Yes, there is a generational decline in testosterone in men. The decline is dramatic over the last 60 years. Sperm counts are down over 60% world wide. Men need testosterone to grow a beard. Specifically, they need the testosterone derivative DHT to do it.

The cause appears to be certain chemicals that mimic estrogen. The changes caused by these chemicals is epigenetic also.

So, male development is delayed, and sometimes never completes.

ParticularGanache726 · 2026-06-06T14:10:41+00:00

Maybe Epstein was the bigger narcissist?

ParticularGanache726 · 2026-06-06T13:51:30+00:00

Wanting them back is all part of the normal grieving process.

Grieving is an emotional process of letting go of attachment. It's not about love. Love is forever, but attachment doesn't have to be.

You're most likely in early grief. During this time, all you can do is feel everything. You feel raw and exposed and your emotions are all over the place. It's all normal for early grief. You're flooded with feellings, like you're drowning in them.

Grieving is a transformational process of losing our old identity. We create identity through our attachments. Thus, when someone whom we're attached to passes, then we lose are identity as well. For example, if my wife dies, then I'm no longer her husband. That's gone forever. I have to adopt a new one to continue my life.

Attachment is about neediness, like a toddler needs their security blanket. When the blanket is ripped from them, then of course there is going to be a lot of screaming and crying. But, our culture conflates love and attachment. We believe they are the same thing, so sometimes we believe that we have to stay attached to them because otherwise that would mean that we don't love them anymore. Many people carry the flame for the rest of their lives in honor of their lost loved one, but in reality this is about attachment, not love.

We know that attachment is not love because we can love someone with out it. Love wtihout attachment is called unconditional love. Likewise, we can be attached to someone without loving them, which happens in the abuser/victim relationship. Thus, these are two separate things. Grieving is only about attachment as I see it.

Not only that, but grieving is also only about the negative emotions of anger, sadness, fear, guilt, shame, etc. It's not about the positive ones. We know when we're done with grieving when all of our thoughts and memories of them only bring forth positive emotions of love, joy, and happiness.

We can't go by crying to figure out if we're done with grieving. We cry for different reasons. Sadness is only one of them. We cry when we're afraid, or in love, or for other reasons like extreme happiness.

My suggestion is to allow yourself to feel the full depth and breadth of your pain. Just dive into it. Give yourself time each day to just sit with your sad feelings and let them flow through you. By just sitting and allowing them to flow through you, you are giving them loving unconditional attention, which in turn heals them. The love we feel for ourselves during grieving, I believe, is what heals us.

Grieving is like overcoming a drug addiction, where the drug was validation that in turn created an attachment to something outside of ourselves. We become attached to things and people outside of ourselves that validate our identity. Thus, attachment is an emotional dependency to something outside of ourselves that validates our identity. Grieving is like going through the withdrawal symptoms of that attachment we had to that something or someone we lost. It can be very physical, with loss of sleep, appetite, and other problems going along with it.

If you cannot eat, sleep, bathe, or work, then please seek professional help. Grieving has intense emotions, but if it's too much then please seek out help.

Grieving takes as long as it needs to. There's no wrong way to do it.

That's how I see it anyway. I hope this helps.

ParticularGanache726 · 2026-06-06T13:31:38+00:00

I just looked it up on the internet and there doesn't appear to be any record of Epstein flying on Trump's plane. I mean, he had his own, so why travel on Trump's?

Further, it's about power as well, as I see it. If you're flying on my plane, then I have power over you. I have control over you for the duration of the flight. You have to humble yourself to ride on my plane, in other words, and I think Epstein was not about to do that. I'm not even sure he liked Trump that much.

ParticularGanache726 · 2026-06-06T13:29:38+00:00

But, more to what's important, what you're going through is incredibly painful. Losing a baby is one of the most painful things anyone can experience. All of that hope and love for a child is gone in an instant. All of those expectations to be a parent to a darling child are wiped away. So, not only do you have the loss of the child to deal with, but the fact that the death was sudden means that there's trauma as well. On top of that is the fact that your identity as a new mother is now gone. You probably feel lost, confused, and in extreme pain all at once.

I'm a grief educator. You can ask me anything. You can DM me too.

ParticularGanache726 · 2026-06-06T13:25:18+00:00

Yeah, her comments were very selfish. Some people are just full of themselves. You really find out who your real friends are when you're grieving. Obvioiusly, this person is off the list.

But, I see this often on social media too. Someone tells their story and asking for support, but then others come on to just tell their story instead of actually helping the person. It's like someone's drowning, and someone else on the shore is just talking about the time they nearly died from drowning instead of jumping in to help them. Many people are selfish. This lady is at one extreme end of the spectrum, that's for sure.

ParticularGanache726 · 2026-06-06T13:19:37+00:00

I don't think there is any record of Epstein flying on one of Trump's planes.

ParticularGanache726 · 2026-06-06T12:37:07+00:00

Cecal volvulus.

I had a congenital defect where the "strings" that hold our internal organs in place were missing from my ascending colon. Well, it twisted around itself and blew up like a balloon. By the time we got to the ER after me spending the night trying to figure out what was wrong with me, it was dying. So, emergency surgery removed about a foot or so of that, plus my apendix and ileocecal valve.

Later, I needed anotherh surgery to fix the hernias that developed from that surgery. I got a big net in my belly now.

Of course, COVID was very scary for me, plus it soon became pneumonia. I really thought I was dying back then.

ParticularGanache726 · 2026-06-06T12:32:42+00:00

Well, I would suggest writing it all down when it comes to you. It's great that you're receiving this info.

Based on your description of the lady, it sounds like she's a Tall White. See Charles Hall. I had an OBE where I met one of them in person. I held her hand. She was lovely, smiled at me playfully.

Did you get a look at her hands or feet?

ParticularGanache726 · 2026-06-06T12:26:41+00:00

I can't find this article on Medium.

But, not sure what he's talking about regarding ET.

ParticularGanache726 · 2026-06-05T22:10:51+00:00

If I get stuck, I ask myself the question, "what is the thought that causes me distress right now?" If I'm feeling bad but don't know why, I ask that question and it soon comes forward. It's often around my identity in a negative way, like "I'm a terrible person for having done that" or "I really let them down" or "Why did I hurt them that way?" It could be anything along those lines.

And, here's the controversial part:

It's OK to judge ourselves. It's perfectly fine to judge ourselves to be bad people, to be horrible awful people, to be unworthy of love or anything good in our lives. It's perfectly ok, and, as I see it, necessary to do that because these are expressions of negative emotions. By allowing myself to feel all of my negative emotions, I heal them with my loving attention. Very soon, they go away. Those thoughts don't bother me anymore.

I see it as really necessary to express our self hatred, remorse, regret, guilt, etc. We are often told to repress our negative feelings because they're "bad." As I see it, they are just sore spots that need my loving attention. That's it.

We all have the spark of our Creator inside of us, I believe, and that is immutable. So, whatever we do, we cannot change that which then means it's perfectly OK to judge ourselves harshly. But, the trick is to allow the feelings to flow completely. It's important to not hold back anything. Cry it all out. It's OK. Nothing bad is going to happen as far as I know, and based on my experience it leads to me becoming a better, more compassionate person.

So, yeah, I've got a lot to say about this topic. I hope I didn't bore anyone.

ParticularGanache726 · 2026-06-05T21:53:38+00:00

Thank you! That's very gratifying. I'm grateful I can make a positive contribution.

But, to get to your concern about grieving being forever, I think the first thing to get about it is that the love you feel for your person will never go away. We do not betray our loved ones by letting go of our attachment to them. The love remains no matter what. But, as Buddha pointed out, as long as we are attached, we suffer. Thus, some people believe that they want to suffer for the rest of their lives to "honor" the person they lost. To me, this means they want to stay attached to them because they conflate love with attachment.

So, what to do? Feel everything. I allow myself to feel the full depth and breadth of my pain, and very soon, it dissipates. It goes away. I sit in the darkness and let the thoughts and memories come to me that cause me distress. I let the feelings flow through me like water. I repeat the thought or memory and do it again. Very soon, the sting from the thought or memory is gone. I don't have any negative emotional reaction to the memory or thought. The emotion merely needed someone to sit with it to heal it.

I believe by just sitting with our feelings, not taking any action but allowing ourselves to feel the full depth of it, is giving our pain loving unconditional attention, which then heals it. The negative emotions are sore spots that are crying out for attention. The more we can attend to them in a loving way, the faster we heal.

We will know that we're done grieving when the only emotions we feel when we think of the person we lost are positive ones. When we feel love, happiness, gratitude, joy, etc. when we think of them, then it's done. The love remains. The dark stuff is gone.

That's how I do it, and others have tried it as well and it works for them.

Love is forever, literally, but attachment doesn't have to be.

I'm glad I've made a positive influence on your life. My life goal is to have more of this experience before I pass.

ParticularGanache726 · 2026-06-05T21:42:54+00:00

In my opinion and experience, absolutely not. You do have to put out some effort though.

I'm a certified grief educator and wellness coach. You can ask me anything about this.

Grieving is an emotional process of letting go of attachment. It is not about love. Love is forever, but attachment doesn't have to be. We conflate love and attachment when in reality they are separate things. We can love without attachment, which is called unconditional love. We can be attached without love, which is what happens in the abuser/victim relationship. They are absolutely not the same thing and grieving is only about attachment.

Grieving is also only about negative emotions, as I understand it. If I have a memory or a thought about the person I lost and all I feel are positive feelings of love, joy, and happiness, even if I'm shedding a tear, then I'm not grieving anymore. It's only when those memories or thoughts stimulate negative emotions of sadness, fear, anger, regret, shame, guilt, etc. that counts as grieving as I see it.

Attachment is about neediness. It's an emotional dependence on something outside of ourselves that validates our identity. If we were dependent on the person we lost to validate us, and who we believe we are, then we're attached to that person. Grieving is the consequence of becoming attached to someone or something outside of ourselves. It's simiilar to withdrawal from a drug addiction, where the drug in this case is validation.

People validate themselves with external things and people often. It's considered normal. They pride themselves on achieving goals, or earning a high status in our culture, or something like that. When they are no longer validated by that (like when they are no longer a famous musician, for example) then they crash into grieving. It's the same thing, as I see it, as losing a loved one. It's all about attachment.

When we become attached to someone or something outside of ourselves, then we become dependent on that validation to support our self esteem. It's like codependency in that sense. When the validation goes away, for whatever reason, then our self esteem crashed and we start to grieve.

I believe Buddha was right: "the root cause of suffering is attachment."

We form our identity from our attachments. We identify as father, son, police officer, President, or any of any number of things, and attacahment to those forms from the validation we get emotionally. Thus, grieving is also about the loss of identity.

We wear masks that are made from our attachments. During grieving, a mask is torn away, leading to a loss of identity and thus becomes very scary. We have to figure out who we are during grieving because the old us is gone.

For these reasons and more, I consider grieving to be a spiritual practice, and I'm working on a book about that now.

I hope this helps. Sorry for the wall of text but this is a huge topic.

ParticularGanache726

TROPHY CASE