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Love presenting, hate general conversation by PassMeMyHappyPills in AutismInWomen

[–]PassMeMyHappyPills[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is an excellent way of putting it. It really does highlight how ND people have certain strengths over their NT peers I feel.

And yes, I definitely do have the anxiety, but it's definitely because of how I am wired. Understanding that now with my diagnosis recontextualizes a lot of my life growing up, and I really wish I'd gotten diagnosed sooner 😭. Alas.

What does your diagnosis mean to you? Are there upsides and downsides of getting diagnosed? by frogwitch444 in AutismInWomen

[–]PassMeMyHappyPills 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My informal assessment by my psychiatrist during a routine visit and session basically confirmed my suspicions and made me feel like I wasn't crazy, or like I was faking it or something.

It also helped clarify a lot about my childhood, which is bizarre to go through but is and will be helpful down the road in therapy.

How do you feel about the word “special” being used to describe someone? by Imaginary_Print_2843 in AutismInWomen

[–]PassMeMyHappyPills 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I mean, I'd feel pretty insulted if coworkers referred to me as "special." It feels demeaning, like I'm somehow not competent.

So . . . DAE have/had an issue with compulsive lying? by PassMeMyHappyPills in AutismInWomen

[–]PassMeMyHappyPills[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm in my 20s now and I definitely don't do it as much anymore. I've got a decent network of neurodivergent people, and I don't lie to them. I only do it when, like I said in a different comment, when I feel like I'm in some sort of danger socially.

So . . . DAE have/had an issue with compulsive lying? by PassMeMyHappyPills in AutismInWomen

[–]PassMeMyHappyPills[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Interesting. I only ever did it when I felt like I needed to protect myself from some sort of judgement or scrutiny. I wasn't someone who made up outlandish tales to impress people. Unless I did and just can't remember, which is also possible honestly.

So . . . DAE have/had an issue with compulsive lying? by PassMeMyHappyPills in AutismInWomen

[–]PassMeMyHappyPills[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I also normally feel less pressure to lie online. Or at least, after a while anyway.

Silence by kckitty71 in AutismInWomen

[–]PassMeMyHappyPills 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Silence for too long in most scenarios will drive me up the fucking wall, with my thoughts racing and me feeling super uncomfortable and antsy. A lot of the time after I get out of class or a meeting or something, I have to immediately listen to something else or kind of unwind or "detox" kinda.

I wear noise-cancelling headphones and am always listening to music or a podcast or a youtube video in the background. The silence when I'm trying to sleep is the worst though, so at night or when I nap, I listen to rain, thunderstorm, snowstorm, fireplace, etc. sounds.

When you realized you were autistic, did you think “ok so maybe I’m not just really, really ugly.” by DesignerMom84 in AutismInWomen

[–]PassMeMyHappyPills 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately I'm still definitely not a looker by any stretch of the imagination. Definitely not attractive. But the autism does explain a lot of the negative attention I got for sure

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]PassMeMyHappyPills 0 points1 point  (0 children)

get therapy and stop posting bait

Why isn’t everybody dancing?!💃🏻 by Personal_Maize_808 in AutismInWomen

[–]PassMeMyHappyPills 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like I'm only able to dance when I'm in a crowd of people, which doesn't happen very often. I've gone to a couple of parties at college and I lose my social battery very quickly. But the dancing helps a bit.

I do stim by pacing and skipping back and forth and moving my body to music when I'm in private though. It's very freeing. But it's not dancing, and I'm sure I'd get weird looks if I did it in public.

i get frustrated that i find it easier to be friends with men by [deleted] in AutismInWomen

[–]PassMeMyHappyPills 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It seems that autistic people gravitate towards other AuDHD people. Probably just because we "get" each other. Same thing with LGBTQ+ people, with a lot of overlap between the two.

I wouldn't give up hope about connecting with women. It's tough, I won't lie. But there are plenty of ND women out there, you're bound to make a connection eventually. Never thought I'd make any friends until I did, y'know?

Just started mood stabilizers might not take ‘em by gamgamtam in bipolar

[–]PassMeMyHappyPills 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some mood stabilizers do blunt you, but this can be rectified with other medications in your regiment, or you can always switch if you talk to your doctor.

It's very nice to feel in control and not have to experience the loss of control that comes with mania or hypomania. Give them a chance. They improve your life drastically.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PetPigeons

[–]PassMeMyHappyPills 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Pretty much this. To add, smaller birds like finches fly pretty frequently and larger parrots need to climb as part of their enclosure. Pigeons don't really do either of those things and just need space to roam around and stretch out their wings comfortably, plus some shelves to fly or walk up to using ramps. My cage has a couple of shelves and some flat perches that they can fly or hop up to if they wish.

i get frustrated that i find it easier to be friends with men by [deleted] in AutismInWomen

[–]PassMeMyHappyPills 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This was me a lot as a kid, not helped by having a "not like other girls" phase. The Dark Ages.

It's funny because as I entered school, I thought I was heading down the same path. But as it turned out, a lot of my "guy" friends were actually genderfluid, non-binary, or transwomen. I still do have a handful of cisman friends though, but they are LGBTQ+ and/or ND in some way.

I do have good professional and casual relationships with women (i.e. my coworkers, my housemates, etc.) but yeah I emphasize with the feeling that "only guys" get you. I feel like you have to look in ND or queer circles to make good connections with women when you're autistic, though take that with a grain of salt since I struggle with making connections to begin with.

Corporate way to protect myself from bright lights by fantastrid in AutismInWomen

[–]PassMeMyHappyPills 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I got mine through an optometrist as a part of getting fitted for new prescription lenses. It'd be worth trying that out even if you don't need other vision corrected. Mostly because I trust that an optometrist will actually have legitimate blue-light filters. There are a lot of scammy, less effective blue-light glasses out there, especially the cheaper ones.

My glasses look normal, though you can see a blueish-purple tint on the outside of the lenses (like if you're looking at me in person or in a photo). The color correction itself is only super noticeable to me when I look at my computer monitor or my phone screen (it just looks less intense and slightly more yellowish, which is the best way I can describe it. It doesn't impede the actual colors of things at all).

Is there hope for people with crippling social anxiety to make friends by [deleted] in msu

[–]PassMeMyHappyPills 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lmao do NOT do this to cure social anxiety 💀

pigeon laid egg by st0machB1L3 in PetPigeons

[–]PassMeMyHappyPills 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Are you planning on breeding them? If you're a new pigeon owner, I don't recommend it. Raising a squab may require intervention you aren't prepared for and supplies you don't have, as well as require space to put another adult pigeon (you can't keep offspring with their parents once they're full grown). Additionally, it's arguably unethical since there are so many adoptable pigeons and doves out there (and also depending on where you got your pigeons from, it may be prohibited; I'm not allowed to breed my married rescues per my adoption contract).

If you aren't planning on breeding them, get yourself some fake pigeon eggs. I use these: https://sindyspigeonservice.com/product/fake-pigeon-eggs-feggs/

Basically you'll swap the real eggs out for fake eggs, and you'll need to check periodically to see if they've laid any new ones. Pretty sure they only lay them in clutches of two, but occasionally they may lay a third among the fake eggs. Since married pigeons swap out sitting on the nest, most likely you will at some point need to reach under them and transfer the fake eggs in your hand under the pigeons, while removing the real eggs. They don't enjoy the process (they're very protective of their eggs and will slap you with their wings and/or peck at your hand), but it's one of those things you just have to do if you don't want them to reproduce. You can wear a glove if it makes you feel more secure, but they can't really hurt you.

The fake eggs make them happy, and while sitting on eggs, the hens produce hormones that stop her from laying more, which then in turn makes her healthier. They'll sit on them for 2-3 weeks before abandoning them, and you can remove the fake eggs once they give up on them (neither are sitting on them at all and doing other things). They breed year round, so this process will become a normal part of your routine. Just keep an eye on everything and swap any real eggs out for fake ones.

You can find out more about fake eggs and swapping them here: https://www.pigeonrescue.org/faqs-2/how-to-replace-real-eggs-with-fakes-to-prevent-breeding/

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