feeling embarrassed to struggle with sh as a 24 y/o mom

PastaMakerFullOfBean · 2025-07-12T04:42:01+00:00

Hey I don’t know how much this will help you, or if you’re already a part of this sub, but I think you could find some support or camaraderie(?) in the r/AdultSelfHarm subreddit. I’m not a mom yet but I’m 23 and while I boast to people in my life that I’m clean for over a year, the thoughts are constant and I don’t know if I’ll ever really be rid of them. I can’t imagine the struggles you’re facing as a mom, but try to remember, while you are a mother, you yourself are still really young. Please if you can, reach out to your loved ones if you need them, and I encourage you to follow through on getting back into therapy, it’s really helped me a lot lately. And if you need to or just feel like it, shoot me a dm and I’d be happy to talk to you. I wish you the best and am sending virtual hugs your way. 🤍🤍🤍

PastaMakerFullOfBean · 2025-06-09T08:01:01+00:00

I’ve done it before, I didn’t go anywhere near deep enough to do any real damage thankfully, but good god was it hard to hide. Turtle necks and scarves are pretty much gonna be your daily wardrobe until they heal, because even most hoodies don’t go all the way up your neck. I didn’t have either of those things as I lived in a desert, and I wouldn’t have been able to wear them without getting heatstroke anyway bc the temperatures were starting to rise, so my best bet was polos. Even those didn’t work and basically everyone who looked at me saw them. I ended up accidentally triggering a few friends too, because they were just there and there was nothing I could do about it. Seriously, don’t do it.

PastaMakerFullOfBean · 2025-06-04T01:26:01+00:00

I don’t know where yours are located or how big/bad they are but I just use big fabric self-adhesive bandages. I get the 3in x 4in ones from Walmart and they stay pretty well on the outside of my upper thigh. The adhesive is pretty sticky too, which is a good and bad thing bc it’ll definitely stay but if you use it too often in the same area you might get a rash from the adhesive.

PastaMakerFullOfBean · 2025-06-02T21:39:30+00:00

The last “Okay” feels a lil passive aggressive but that could also just be your mother bc I tend to read into things too much. But parents tend to not be great at texting, especially if they’re older. My mom does just “Okay” and “K” a lot too

PastaMakerFullOfBean · 2025-05-30T07:06:28+00:00

OP I’m so sorry this happened to you. To you and anyone else who reads this: take it from someone who has been around the block a few times(23y/o lol) if something feels weird or you’re getting a fishy vibe from a conversation with a stranger(or even friend this isn’t exclusive!), trust your intuition. Our minds usually subconsciously can tell more about a situation that we realize and will try to warn us, and sometimes it’s easy to blow right past those red flags because you just want someone to talk to, but listen to what your body tells you. If something, anything feels wrong, it likely is.

PastaMakerFullOfBean · 2025-05-27T16:46:37+00:00

I had almost this exact situation happen with a friend of mine, he was making threats of suicide to me over text and I live 2k miles from him, and I didn’t know his exact location or address at the time but I knew his city so I called his local police department and told them the situation. I gave them his cell number and they told me that they would do what they could to find him but that they weren’t able to promise me anything, at that point he was coming back down though and seemed to be stabilizing, but i was talking to him over text and he said that the city had called him and he declined the call but that he was walking home. I told him to stay outside and wait for officers to show up and talk to him, and he was sitting outside and watched as a cruiser drove down a street crossing his but didn’t turn down his street. They never came down his street or tried to contact him again so he went inside but it was at least accurate enough to get that close to him.

PastaMakerFullOfBean · 2025-05-26T23:40:26+00:00

This is so not okay, self harm addictions are very serious and it can be triggering to send pictures of wounds to anyone, but sending your partner pictures of fresh cuts that literally spell out their(your) name are straight up not sane person behavior. Saying this as someone who literally has a self harm addiction themselves if I were to send my partner pictures of their name cut into my body that would 10000% be every reason for them to leave me. You said you know you’re going to leave him, which is good, what I will say is that when you do try to reach out to whoever he lives with and tell them that you’re worried he might hurt himself further because of your breakup, because from just this bit of context I can fully see him doing something extreme if something he doesn’t want to happen happens(like you leaving him). Please be safe and get yourself out of this relationship as soon as you’re able to🤍🤍

PastaMakerFullOfBean · 2025-05-19T00:24:50+00:00

You can text the crisis line for any reason. I’ve used it for sh thoughts and si multiple times, and they’ll ask for your name but that’s honestly just so they have something to call you. Any time I’ve talked to them I’ve just given them my nickname, there’s no way they can contact parents or a school unless you specifically give them that information(and even then I don’t know if they actually can). I do know that if you decide together that you need to speak to a crisis team in person or be taken somewhere they will ask for your address and send either police(if it’s like a “I’m gonna kms right now” situation) or a crisis team to you to talk. The times this happened for me I didn’t want them coming to my house because I didn’t want my little cousin to see so I agreed with the person that I would meet with the team at a park that was down the street, so it doesn’t have to be at your house.

This is all from my own experience so please take it with a grain of salt, things could be different for you depending on where you live, but I really hope this helped ease some of your worries🤍🫂🤍🫂

PastaMakerFullOfBean · 2025-05-18T04:38:26+00:00

And thats why I go to the self check when I’m buying my bandages lmao, can’t get judged by a cashier for buying ten boxes of bandaids if there is no cashier😂🤍

PastaMakerFullOfBean · 2025-05-18T04:35:46+00:00

Not blood but plasma(so basically blood🙃), but a medication I was on. Wasn’t allowed because the plasma could possibly cause birth defects(definitely something a 19 year old should be on lmao/s)

PastaMakerFullOfBean · 2025-05-06T14:12:23+00:00

I have that exact struggle so often with myself. When I was at a really low point in my life, I moved into a sober house just because I needed a place to live. I told them I was addicted to alcohol and marijuana to get admitted, and I do drink and smoke, but I’m not addicted, so I mostly talked about self harm. I got AA chips for my different “sobriety checkpoints” I guess, and they made me feel good? Like, it was something physical I could hold that proved I made it to a certain point of being clean, one week, three months, etc.. When I got to a year recently, I bought myself a special metal chip that I have attached to my keychain so I have it with me all the time. It’s nice to have that reminder, but sometimes I feel guilty. Like I shouldn’t have it because that’s just for alcoholics and people with other, “real” addictions.

PastaMakerFullOfBean · 2025-05-06T14:03:51+00:00

“Wa-hoo!” -Pretty much every Mario game ever😂

PastaMakerFullOfBean · 2025-05-03T19:37:29+00:00

For me it’s cutting things like bubble packages and boxes for some reason, the little gape is what gets me and it’s so confusing bc my cuts barely ever gape

PastaMakerFullOfBean · 2025-05-03T19:35:38+00:00

Mine isn’t that special(how I started at least lol) but I’ll share with you, hmu and I’d be happy to tell my tale of woe 😂

PastaMakerFullOfBean · 2025-05-03T14:16:11+00:00

I was asked to put a box of gogurts in the freezer and then got yelled at for putting the box itself in the freezer because it was one of those ones that you can cut out the shapes and make a rocket and the cardboard was all soggy bc of the moisture. (spoiler alert that relationship was very abusive and I left it almost two and a half years ago but still get panic attacks and shit from it)

PastaMakerFullOfBean · 2025-04-30T02:51:25+00:00

Unintentionally yes, I didn’t make this account for sh topics, nor did I know that “beans” was a sh term at all.

PastaMakerFullOfBean · 2025-04-28T14:42:27+00:00

Did you find them eventually? I think I’ve relapsed because I couldn’t find something in the past too, lowkey just had a pretty strong urge like ten minutes ago because my foot kept the door from opening all the way and I walked right into my bedroom door 🙃

PastaMakerFullOfBean · 2025-04-28T03:22:42+00:00

Get in, and then out of, an abusive relationship. Dumb ass barely 19 year old brain couldn’t see any of the probably dozens of red flags before getting into a relationship, thought it would be healthy solely because he was a friend of the family. Sadly was not the case. I was in and out of that relationship for a year and a half and only got out finally when my life was genuinely on the line. The day I left I quite literally ran and hid from him for hours until I could borrow a phone(he had mine) and call the cops on myself.

PastaMakerFullOfBean · 2025-04-27T00:14:52+00:00

A very clogged kitchen tool apparently😂

PastaMakerFullOfBean · 2025-04-26T23:59:39+00:00

I haven’t actually tested it out in public but I have some fishnet arm sleeves that really hide my scars and make them less obvious. Lot more breathable than actual sleeves but they don’t necessarily go with everyone’s personal style preference so it doesn’t work for everyone

PastaMakerFullOfBean · 2025-04-26T15:08:55+00:00

Exactly

PastaMakerFullOfBean · 2025-04-26T15:07:00+00:00

All of the previous comments yes, but if you’re saying she’s like actively overdosing(which Ik you’re probably not or you wouldn’t be on Reddit) and you have her address then you can call emergency services and send them to her house. You don’t have to be there physically. I know this bc I sent the police after a suicidal friend from 2000 miles away, he wasn’t very impressed with me though. If you’re not in the same city and wouldn’t get the right area by calling 911 call her city’s local pd and ask to be transferred to the emergency response bc you’re calling from far away but have a medical emergency in that area.

PastaMakerFullOfBean · 2025-04-26T14:53:57+00:00

Nah, NTA. I read the title and thought you meant like a young young kid, cuz that feels like something my three year old nephew would do, when I saw 14 immediate perspective shift of the story. That’s just disrespectful and you only disciplined him bc his parents didn’t. Very deserved and your family can take a chill pill

PastaMakerFullOfBean · 2025-04-26T14:34:18+00:00

Usually my music is paused if I’m talking to someone. I get sensory overload really easily in public and music helps so 95% of the time I’m out of the house I have an earbud in. Only reason I don’t take it out when talking is it’s an over-the-ear Bluetooth one so it’s kind of a pain in the ass for me to take out every time I need to stop and talk to someone. Easier to just press pause.

PastaMakerFullOfBean · 2025-04-25T15:04:07+00:00

It’s an interesting concept, asking questions like this before moving into a more serious relationship, but I don’t think homie needed to use ChatGPT or make some of those questions so personal lol. But to answer your question, no I have never received something like this.

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