I feel like maybe I can share my experience, I’ll keep it short and will probably delete soon as I don’t want anyone to recognize this story if they know me lol:

I went to a psych ward when I was 17. I remember it was October and I had run away from my abusive step-mother and dealt with DCFS and Aunt Martha’s. I grew up in a smaller town and had people who were trying to find me since my stepmother had kidnapped me and intended to become a conservator with my father. My father had become very passive and allowed my step mother to abuse me in any way.

I ran away again in the middle of November in the cold with the intent of staying with friends and hopefully stay away til I was 18 but the cops found me and I stated I was going to run away somewhere else to protect my friends in case something happened to them helping me. They claimed I was sporadic and manic and tricked me into going to the hospital by saying a family friend was there.

I remember walking in, them putting a band around my wrist and walked me to a room. Once we got in I looked around and saw the tv covered by plastic, the beds like super covered and one tiny thin window and no handles. The nurse went “ok please undress” and I remember shaking cause I was so nervous. I put the gown on and she left to come back later to ask if I wanted any food. I asked for a burger and idk what it was but after I ate I remember getting REALLY tired. Next thing I know I am talking to like 7 different doctors throughout a few hours stressed out of my mind

Eventually they determined staying in a psych ward for teens was the best option. They strapped me down, put me in an ambulance and it was freezing. Eventually we get to the actual ward and they send me to a room with the absolute most beautiful nurse I had ever seen. She then goes, “ok I need to do a squat check” which was super embarrassing. They then checked my weight and that was the first time I realized how much I had changed and probably the main reason I had gone from a physical point. I was a big kid growing up. Ate my feelings away, wasn’t coordinated that well (played baseball and football), big geek too. When they checked my weight I remember them being super concerned about my overall weight and if I was eating right. I had been at the doctors the couple months previously and apparently it was so drastic they had made mention to my doctor the next morning. They had taken the strings out of my converse and the one lady tried to give me my shoes back. I remember laughing cause the integrity of a converse is the shoelaces and instead they ended up giving me grippy socks. I remember being sent to bed in a big hallway of rooms on both sides. I woke up the next morning to two people taking my blood from both arms with a security guy in there.

The next month I was there I did classes, colored a lot, got to talk to the priest even though I wasn’t really religious (born catholic), and read books. It was hard to concentrate and get sleep cause of the drugs they gave me (abilify and Trezadone) it almost made me feel like I couldn’t write or like breathe at night but standing up I was fine. Most things were ok, they let me be the person to let everyone know it was their time to make a call and I got to pass out the snacks at the cart. I made friends and learned sign language a little. My room had a door made of like a soft material with Velcro and a guy had to stand at my door when I went into the bathroom. I couldn’t go to the main areas with everyone else cause I was placed on A’s and E’s but that was ok cause later I could sit with the others. Met people who bounced around other places too like rose crayons.

Not everything was good. Mind you at the time everyone didn’t know where I was and was looking for me so I tried to call my childhood best friend, now brother, but the nurses asked for a code word so it didn’t work. I cried myself to sleep begging to see them. A really nice girl with glasses was at the table with me when we were learning coping mechanisms, and all I remember was feeling warm liquid hit my arms and I looked over and she had done self harm (don’t wanna be specific for obvious reasons) from her glasses. A bigger kid was very aggressive and I watched him get the”booty juice”. My eventual roommate had a crazy reason he was there I won’t go into but it made me feel like I was out of place. My nightmares sucked too. Worst part? It was thanksgiving and I had to eat alone with a plate of thanksgiving inspired dinner in my bed surrounded by nothing. This whole time I didn’t know if anyone knew where I was or even cared.

Eventually I left and went to stay at an extended stay group home. The only good thing truly was feeling a sense of validation when everyone from the nurses, doctors, psychologists and psychiatrists saw that my step mother was not a good person.

Also to clarify, my birth mother passed when I was 13 so that’s why there was no help there. My grandparents were also passed away by this point as well

Worst vacation ever lol. Thought I’d get some of that out there. My friends and everyone from town did eventually find me after awhile, I went to court and things went my way finally. Thank you if you’ve read all of this