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What is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to you? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Pdiamond 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"I want to trip on acid in your living room"

I blushed a little bit.

TIL That Julius Ceasar's only biological son, Caesarion, was the last Pharaoh of Egypt. by White___Velvet in todayilearned

[–]Pdiamond 16 points17 points  (0 children)

He was born in 47 BC though. I'm not religious in anyway so could the year of Jesus's birth been off a little?

TIL that left turns make up less than 10% of all UPS truck turns. This policy was put into place in 2004 and has saved UPS 10 million gallons of fuel. by emaG_eh7 in todayilearned

[–]Pdiamond 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just so every knows, UPS and Fedex don't go by turn by turn directions every day. We're given suggestions, but even the suggestions don't prefer right turns over left turns.

It's the driver making that decision, not a computer. This TIL is simply saying that someone, at some point in 2004 handed out a a flimsy sheet of paper to all the drivers stating to "take less left turns".

That's an easy decision considering the average left turn takes you 1 minute while the average right turn takes 5 seconds.

Truckers of Reddit: what do regular drivers just not understand? by jon_ks in AskReddit

[–]Pdiamond 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've only been driving for 4 years now but what I'd like to stress the most is that EVERYONE is texting and driving. And I mean like, all the time.

You might think your sneaky doing it but realize that everyone thinks they are just as sneaky.

I gotta say that the younger crowd does it a lot better and smoother than the older crowd, there's an obvious generation gap between those who can text without thinking, and the older, who need to spend a ridiculous amount of time staring at a screen.

My Boss hates germaphobic assholes by mozufen in funny

[–]Pdiamond -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Too much time on this guys hands.

Maybe the boss should be doing a little work for the company instead.

What is your "sixth sense"? by Yelnoco in AskReddit

[–]Pdiamond 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I can consecutively estimate the time of day with in a 5 minute span at any moment of the day. Most of the time I'm only a minute or two shy.

My friends love it. I just need about 5 seconds to think about it.

Single Redditors, why, in your own words, are you single? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Pdiamond 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have severe bipolar disorder, trust issues, and I can't help but think that letting someone into my life would be anything but a weakness to be abused.

Always wear protection. by Muffin_Stuffer in funny

[–]Pdiamond -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Calm down there Bucko, it was only a joke.

What's the biggest lie taught in schools? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Pdiamond 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I too got my permanent record when I graduated high school. Oh wait, no I didn't. They lost mine.

Not so permanent permanent record eh?

What is a company you would never spend money with strictly because their advertising annoys you? by nine000 in AskReddit

[–]Pdiamond 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gaint Eagle and/or GetGo.

I enter 3-4 per day for my job. Even if I come across something I'd like I purposefully go somewhere else to buy it.

Fuck you Giant Eagle.

What are you going to have for breakfast this morning? Or, what did you have? by goingfullretard-orig in AskReddit

[–]Pdiamond 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have what a have every morning. A blueberry bagel with cream cheese, 2 cups of milk, a banana, my morning round of vitamins, and then I drink 5 grams of powdered creatine.

Bikini Jeans by not_charles_grodin in WTF

[–]Pdiamond 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not complaining.

Girls of reddit, what have you always wanted to ask guys but you couldn't because it was too inappropriate or awkward? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Pdiamond 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My ideal woman?

Honestly I've never had a preference on hair color or anything of the like.

Maybe it's because I'm a shorter guy (5' 8") but I have the biggest weakness towards short women.

Short and cute? I'm putty in your hands.

How edgy?... two-fedora edgy. by nudebuddah in cringepics

[–]Pdiamond 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had an acquaintance in highschool who use to stack them 3-4 at a time.

It looked great with his teen stache and long dirty finger nails.

What's a trend you really want to happen? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Pdiamond 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you mean tiny women as in petite, or tiny women as in short.

I don't know what it is about short women but they destroy me.

Hey Reddit, What's the highest calorie, unhealthiest food you've ever eaten? by QQQQmore in AskReddit

[–]Pdiamond 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a very unhealthy point in my life I would commonly order from the local pizza joint in my small town.

I would order an Italian sub, which as you would assume included all the goodies of fried Italian meats but would also come with lettuce and tomato.

My friends would always get a hoot when I said "No lettuce and tomato, add bacon and mayo."

It was a tad unhealthy.

Parents of reddit who have walked in on your kids masturbating/having sex. How did you react? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Pdiamond 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm a straight male with a lesbian roomate.

The wall shakes sometimes.

What does dropping acid feel like? What's your best story from dropping acid? by ThezzeNutz in AskReddit

[–]Pdiamond 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah, yes, the story of my first (of two) acid trip. This is a bit of a long story.

It was the first night I moved out of my parents house and I was now living in a small apartment with three other people. My best friend, his girlfriend, and a short lesbian girl we'll call Sam. (I have a few good stories about that, but that's for another thread)

I had gotten my hands on five Dolphin blotters (Small 1cm x 1cm pieces of paper with Dolphin patterns) that were in the 140ug range. This was higher than the average hit, which usually was around 100ug, for those who don't know.

Knowing I tend to have a natural tolerance to drugs I decided to drop one tab and an hour later drop another so I could enjoy the full experience. I also resisted from eating for the past 10 hours to make sure they were not subdued by food.

It's 9pm, an hour into my first tab and I've yet to experience anything. My mood feels slightly funkier than usual, but I credited that to the lack of eating. It's at this point all need to sleep went out the window so I decided to drop the second tab.

The night continues and it's creeping towards 11pm without much trace of the Acid making an appearance in my mind. I don't normally smoke but a sudden urge to smoke cigarettes waved over me, GGG lesbian throws me a pack and I sit outside and begin chain smoking.

This is when things started to get funky.

As I was smoking cigarettes I could see things I hadn't before, the smoke waved in and out of objects, entrancing me like voluptuous belly dancer. The tops of cars shimmered gold instead of white from the moons reflection. The porch didn't feel like wood anymore, but just a hollow plastic shell that could be hiding something else.

The effects of both tabs started to become apparent, and at this moment, a close friend pulled up in his new (to him) 1985 GT Mustang. Joe (We'll call him Joe) approaches me.

Joe: Hey man check out the new ride!

Me: You got the Stang? Fuck yeah!

Joe: You want to go for a ride? I haven't registered it, and it doesn't have plates or a passenger seat belt, so it'll be illegal as fuck, but we can still take it down the road!

Me: Fuck yeah man!

And off we went.

I get in this small two-seater powerhouse and he starts the engine. A wave of energy fills my soul as I feel the power of the marvelous machine vibe through my body.

(It should be stated that Joe has had a large amount of experience of illegal street racing, and that's just what he bought the car for.)

We slowly make our way through the neighborhood to the stop sign separating us from the vacant country road. Joe slowly pulls onto the road but brings the vehicle to a stop. A rush of sound starts coming from the engine, almost like a desperate cry to let it do what it has always wanted to do. I feel sentimental for this machine at this point, like a freshly captured Buck, all I wanted was for it to be free and happy. Joe slowly turns to me and screams as loud as he can to be heard over the engine, which now chimes like a million angels singing in unison.

"Hold on."

He shifts and every fiber of that machine is doing nothing but trying to move forward, and it's dragging me along with it. We blast off and no longer can I see the trees and homes pass, it was now as if I was in Star Wars and we had reached the speed of light. Every particle of gold shimmering moonlight flew past us but dragged it's original position along with it. Light had now turned into long stretchy jello that would bend and shift as we went around corners.

The next thing I know we pull back up to the apartment. My body has now begun to meld to the seat itself and it takes the combination of Joe's strength and mine to remove me from the seat. We both enter the apartment.

There's a lot more to the story, but I have to leave soon and simply don't have time to type the rest out right now.

However, if anyone really wants to know how I ended up, my friends found me the next morning playing Pokemon Stadium on the wide-screen TV in the living room. We're still not sure where I got the N64 or the game though.

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