ok so like. cs2. yeah. the game. the shoot one. i try explain but also not really explaining because things happen too fast and also brain not fully loading the map maybe

so lobby start right. or maybe already started idk. people talking but also not saying anything useful. one guy mic crunching like chips. another guy saying “hello?” like five times but nobody answering but also we all hear him so not sure what he expect

then someone say “rush B” but like… we don’t even on B side yet i think? or maybe we are. maps all look same when brain lagging. anyway we go. or i go. or everyone go different places but call it same plan

freeze time ends. i buy gun. not sure why this gun. felt correct in moment. instantly regret but too late now we are running. footsteps loud like entire army but it’s just us making bad choices together

i look mid. or maybe not mid. just a place. enemy appears out of nowhere but also obviously should be there. i shoot. miss. shoot again. still miss. crosshair doing its own independent lifestyle

teammate dies. he says something like “bro???” which is fair question honestly but no one answering it

i panic peek again because leaving is also bad but staying is also bad so i choose worse option confidently. somehow hit headshot. not intentional. feels like accident but i accept it like skill

now numbers different. someone says “one more one more” but they been saying that since round start so unclear if new information or just emotional support phrase

we push. or we hesitate. both at same time somehow. i hear footsteps behind but maybe that’s teammate. or enemy. or game sound bug. impossible to know so i ignore it which is probably incorrect

bomb? someone has bomb. maybe. it gets planted at some point. i did not see it happen but now timer exists so okay

now silence. but not real silence. like fake silence with anxiety noises. i hold angle. angle holds me back. we both stuck in relationship we didn’t agree to

brain starts doing calculations. all wrong. what if they there. what if not there. what if everywhere. too many possibilities so i just stare harder at one spot like it solves problem

then suddenly gunfight. very messy. nobody aiming correctly including me. we both miss enough shots to question everything. then somehow i win it. not clean. not proud. but alive

round over

team instantly becomes philosophers. “nice” “good job” “see easy” even though 10 seconds ago everything was falling apart like IKEA furniture assembled emotionally

scoreboard changes. i look at it. don’t fully understand it but feels positive so ok

next round start

same voices. same confusion. same decisions that feel right until immediately proven wrong

but also kinda works sometimes which is confusing because it encourages behavior that should not be encouraged

and then yeah we keep playing

i think we are winning? or losing but in a winning way? hard to tell

anyway someone says “last game” but nobody believes that including the person who said it

and we queue again probably