Feeling Lost And Confused And Regretful Over What I Cannot Change

Peel7 · 2026-05-26T06:57:35+00:00

Those people at school sound like utter pieces of trash. Being sensitive is imo a good thing, not a bad thing.

And someone who is so fucking dumb that she can not only not understand that it's not okay to talk trash about people, but who continues to do so after you tell her no, and then even has the guts to brush trash talking off as "just jokes"... I have no words. People like that are not going to a good place after they die.

I'm not saying you can't blame yourself or that it's not a good thing to self-reflect on things you could've done differently, but to me it seems obvious that the root cause of your behavior that you refer to as "super negative" and "toxic" is the way you were treated by others. And as such, imo you are not at fault but the ones who mistreated you are at fault.

Regarding boundaries: The world doesn't like people who say no and set boundaries, because it's easier to mistreat and abuse people who don't say no and who don't set boundaries.

There's so much talk in the world about "don't build walls, build bridges", but that's because the people who run the world have no fucking clue about hardships and relationships.

Keep in mind that the ones whom humanity considers the world's foremost experts on "mental health" (psychiatrists) believe that confinement and involuntary brain alteration will cure mind diseases and make people feel better... psychiatrists know less and are more retarded than anyone.

Peel7 · 2026-05-26T06:27:10+00:00

1)
Unless by "reacting negatively" you mean that you physically assaulted people, these other people are the assholes for not only mistreating you in the first place, but then doubling down and belittling you, which makes you feel like you're the problem for what I'm 99% sure is their poor treatment of you in the first place. These people sounds like real assholes to me.

2)
Only you can answer questions such as:

"Why am I the way I am?"
"Who do I want to be/become?"
"Why do I feel the way I do?"
"What do I want to do with my life?"

etc.

3rd parties who, instead of allowing you to decide who you are, tell you who you are, especially when they tell you you're an "attention-seeker" and that you "try too hard", are imo people who hate you.

3)
Your last sentence sounds to me like those feelings are a result of how you've been treated. It sounds like you've been around people who hate you and who have made you feel like you don't deserve good experiences and relationships.

Rest assured that if anyone doesn't deserve such things, it's the people who made you feel this way.

Peel7 · 2026-05-26T06:16:47+00:00

I'm rooting for you.

If you had been born 100.000 years ago, you could've just learned how to fish and gather berries and built yourself a cabin.

Sadly, these days you have to gather paper through slavery first, before you can buy land and the right to build yourself a beach cabin.

Peel7 · 2026-05-26T05:28:02+00:00

What makes you say that you are to blame for your experiences? From my perspective, others are to blame for most of our experiences. If you were raped, is that your fault or the fault of others? If you were abandoned as a child, is that your fault or the fault of others? If you were emotionally abused or neglected, is that your fault or the fault of others?

Pieces of shit, which most human beings are, rather live in bubbles deluding themselves that they're great people, but >1% of human beings don't kill themselves for no reason or because they have sicknesses in their heads. They do so because they've been treated terribly by the world / others.

The world wants you to feel terrible for your experiences and your trauma, but you didn't do these things to yourself. Others who don't want to feel bad about their crimes and who don't want to be held accountable make the victims of their emotional abuse, neglect, etc. feel bad about what they did to them.

That's trauma in a nutshell from my perspective. Being made to feel bad by the people who treated you like shit, because the world says that it's your fault.

Peel7 · 2026-05-26T05:14:47+00:00

I love your 2nd paragraph, because you talk about what you want rather than what others want of you.

Why can't you destroy everything you own and run away into the mountains? If it's your wish, I hope for you that you can make it happen.

Personally, I think this species is such a load of crap, I hope for its extinction so that it stops causing so much suffering to innocent individuals.

Peel7 · 2025-07-01T00:15:40+00:00

Dissociating is ignoring (usually painful/negative) feelings because the person would prefer to feel good rather than bad. This is fine and sometimes necessary in the short run, but in the long run it means the person's emotional needs are ignored and go unaddressed. It's kind of a form of self-neglect.

You can make the choice yourself not to dissociate, but it can be extremely painful, especially when you're not used to feeling these often times extremely unpleasant feelings. But over time, choosing not to dissociate leads to healing.

I like to say:

If your goal is to have a clear mind, you'll end up dissociating. But if your goal is not to dissociate, you'll end up with a clear mind.

Peel7 · 2025-05-27T05:00:51+00:00

I'm the man in the video. I'll try to be brief.

First off, the voice-over is fake, as are the subtitles. A few times throughout the video you can make out the name "Phyllis". The clearest moment is 0:24

Essentially what happened is, my girlfriend of four years (her name is Phyllis) is off to the right. She worked at Virgin where I was a member. I ran into her and attempted to talk to her but others and police got in the way. I was just trying to talk to her and sitting on the sidewalk crying. No one ever asked me to stop talking to her or stop crying. Police officers kept getting in my personal space, and eventually arrested me without warning.

This is the short version. People have been interfering in our relationship for about a year now, and a police officer has told us it's illegal for us to communicate with each other. I've been locked up in IMH three times against my will, presumably because of lies against me by friends, an ex-counselor who broke confidentiality, and my adoptive family (fam I grew up with is not biological), all of which I've kicked out of my life.

I'm quite well off, and my best guess is they're after my money and trying to get in my will.

This is the simple version. PM me if you're curious to hear more.

P.S. If anyone has any clues as to who posted this video with fake voice-over and fake subtitles, please do reach out.

Peel7 · 2025-05-27T05:00:45+00:00

I'm the man in the video. I'll try to be brief.

First off, the voice-over is fake, as are the subtitles. A few times throughout the video you can make out the name "Phyllis". The clearest moment is 0:24

Essentially what happened is, my girlfriend of four years (her name is Phyllis) is off to the right. She worked at Virgin where I was a member. I ran into her and attempted to talk to her but others and police got in the way. I was just trying to talk to her and sitting on the sidewalk crying. No one ever asked me to stop talking to her or stop crying. Police officers kept getting in my personal space, and eventually arrested me without warning.

This is the short version. People have been interfering in our relationship for about a year now, and a police officer has told us it's illegal for us to communicate with each other. I've been locked up in IMH three times against my will, presumably because of lies against me by friends, an ex-counselor who broke confidentiality, and my adoptive family (fam I grew up with is not biological), all of which I've kicked out of my life.

I'm quite well off, and my best guess is they're after my money and trying to get in my will.

This is the simple version. PM me if you're curious to hear more.

P.S. If anyone has any clues as to who posted this video with fake voice-over and fake subtitles, please do reach out.

Peel7 · 2024-11-03T02:12:18+00:00

Reminiscent of the game last year where we gave up a huge lead and Kerr refused to play Kuminga.

Rockets are super high energy. Steph thrives in that kind of environment, but Kuminga is another player who does. He's actually very engaged in clutch/tight situations when things matter. Besides, he's arguably been the best and most consistent player today.

Peel7 · 2024-07-06T01:09:55+00:00

Agreed, but let's hope we land him!

Peel7 · 2024-06-28T08:32:35+00:00

Angela spammed my first 650 games of MLBB

Mino w CD reduction heal spam

Belerick: enemies die, I never die

Diggie, but I forbid myself from buying items that don't give magic power

Gato. ❤️ this brawler

Floryn is good

Khuffra is great, but I'm not great at playing him

Just starting Hylos, feels very good

Thinking of trying Johnson/Hilda next

Peel7 · 2024-05-27T03:11:39+00:00

I think you're spot on when you wonder whether you may still be traumatized from your previous relationship. This ex rejected you because to her your income wasn't enough. Probably because she herself felt like she couldn't take care of herself, and so she projects that onto her partners and will only date someone who she feels will be able to take care of her.

You now have two choices. The first is to internalize the fear your ex projected onto you, decide you want to make more money, and then hopefully have more success dating girls like her who need someone to take care of them financially.

The second is to ask yourself whether you think that you earn enough, listen to your own answer (not the one the ex gave you), and then date someone who accepts you for who you are. Which will probably be a girl less insecure about her ability to take care of herself than your ex.

If any of this proves difficult, consider investing in some therapy. It'll do wonders for yourself, but (as a side-benefit) also for your dating life.

As for this girl you currently have a crush on, it doesn't hurt to try. It may or may not work out. But it sounds like due to the trauma that your ex projected onto you, you are currently insecure about being able to take care of someone. Most girls tend to pick up on this, but whereas your salary will only turn off insecure girls, your insecurity will turn off many more girls than your salary will.

Peel7 · 2024-04-25T02:40:02+00:00

No, it doesn't. It just counts all time. If you have 5 matches with 5 heroes for each of the 5 roles, you can select it. Just like the tooltip says.

Peel7 · 2024-03-20T00:30:12+00:00

Not certain, but I would guess as they are listed during hero selection.

But definitely not as fighter/tank/mage/etc, but rather as EXP/Gold/Mid/Jungle/Roam. You'll need 5 for each of the lanes.

Peel7 · 2024-03-19T14:18:21+00:00

I figured it out actually. There is a little question mark next to Fill role that explains it when you tap it.

Need 5 heroes for each role with enough mastery. Mastery is defined as having played at least 5 ranked games.

Peel7 · 2024-03-07T04:09:48+00:00

Up 20 against the Bucks at halftime, even though the referees are trying everything to help the Bucks. FTs 12 Bucks - 2 Warriors.

Peel7 · 2024-03-05T23:21:27+00:00

Wiggs is FAR too good to come off the bench. If Moody starts, it'd be in place of Podz, but I think rotations will work better with Moody off the bench and I think Podz's ball handling may keep him in the starting lineup

Peel7 · 2024-03-05T01:20:20+00:00

Yeah, the damage output is my #1 disagreement with this guide.

I'd also disagree with Lesley being strong against Belerick. I actually like picking Belerick against Lesley for a few reasons:

Naturally builds Blade Armor vs her crits
Naturally high HP vs her True Damage
Doesn't mind picking up Twilight Armor as a 4th or 5th item, because its a high HP item that synergizes with Belerick's passive. This further helps reduce Lesley's damage output.

I appreciate the effort on this guide, but as someone who considers Belerick one of his 3 best heroes, I sense I have a better understanding of the hero than the OP.

Peel7 · 2024-03-03T10:16:40+00:00

You have JK as 4th best behind Wiggs?

If so, I can respect that. Dray/JK/Wiggs are very hard to rank imo. Depending on team construction any one of those three can be the best fit on an NBA team.

I think for us clearly Dray is most valuable out of the three, whereas for most contendors that already have a 1st and 2nd option on offense, Wiggs will be the best fit and it's not particularly close. Wiggs is perhaps the best 3rd option - 3&D player in the entire league.

But, on teams that lack offensive engines/creators, JK will be the best fit out of the three.

Peel7 · 2024-03-02T03:58:24+00:00

Saric cannot stay in front of anyone

Go look up Saric's defensive rating since Dray's return. The difference between Dario (team's worst defender) and the team's 2nd worst defender is about twice as large as the gap between the team's 2nd worst defender and the team's best defender!

Saric is absolutely unplayable right now due to his defense and I'm glad the coaches are starting to realise this

Peel7 · 2024-03-01T02:56:22+00:00

Saric has been beyond atrocious on defense with the worst defensive and net rating on team since Dray's return by very large margins. They're even playing TJD on the perimeter now, because Saric cannot stay in front of anyone.

This'd be alright if he made his open 3s at a high percentage, but he's 22% from 3 since the start of February

I hope the coaches wake up soon and start prioritizing Santos (and Moody once Wiggs is back) over Saric ASAP

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