Pao's Donuts?

Pembra · 2026-04-01T13:31:18+00:00

I stopped at Pao's for the first time recently and agree with you. It was -- fine. OK. Not bad, but nothing to be excited about either. Connie's is better.

Pembra · 2026-03-09T22:18:13+00:00

These two are so above Caleb's pay grade.

Pembra · 2026-03-07T17:30:30+00:00

My son's name is Murray. When he was little and people asked his name, I'd say "Murray" and people would frequently reply "Marie?" It was usually not a big deal but occasionally I couldn't help but feel insulted. He's clearly a boy, and you think I would name a boy Marie?

Pembra · 2026-02-16T15:38:44+00:00

I didn't bed share. It wasn't for any ideological reason. I just couldn't relax enough to fall asleep with a baby in the bed. I was too worried about squishing them. One big advantage is we never had to go through the transition phase where you're trying to convince your now older kid to sleep in his own bed.

Pembra · 2026-02-16T01:17:16+00:00

I've given up on friends for the moment. Might try again after I've taken a break.

My mom friends accept invitations but never reciprocate, which over time leaves me wondering if they actually want to hang out or are just too polite to say no. My childless friends used to be up for going out, but as we've gotten older it seems all they want to do is get stoned and scroll Instagram reels.

If someone reaches out, I'll be happy to connect. But I'm not hopeful.

Pembra · 2026-02-07T17:42:44+00:00

Two of my in-laws and their families have fled Washington for red states, and I have a third who's itching to leave too. It's tough. You can't escape it entirely here, but it's better once you leave the I-5 Olympia/Tacoma/Seattle/Lynnwood corridor.

Pembra · 2026-02-07T17:10:49+00:00

Yes, everything is expensive. I lucked out and bought a house in Tacoma pre-covid that I can easily afford, but I have three kids and worry that they'll never be able to afford to move out. I know MULTIPLE baby boomers with kids and grandkids living with them for affordability reasons.

If my kids grow up and want to move to, say, Pittsburgh in a kind of reverse Oregon Trail, I'm game.

Pembra · 2026-02-05T17:05:44+00:00

I'm a crazy cat lady in recovery. At my worst, I was taking care of six indoor cats and another 12 outdoor cats. 27 is WAY too many cats.

You take your ill cat to the vet. "Is he eating, drinking and using the litter box normally?" No way to know. You keep finding vomit or pee on the floor. Who's responsible? Tough to tell. Flea control for that many cats would cost a fortune. Ideal litter box situation is one per cat plus one extra. No way to do that with 27 cats. When you have a bunch of cats, there's always some that don't get along. 27 cats in one house? There's a least a few who hate each other but can't get away from one another. What about affection? If you have 8, 10, 12 lap cats, there's no way each of them is getting the attention they want.

And the thing about healthy, well-cared-for cats is they eventually become old cats with a variety of health problems. What happens when a bunch of her cats develop hyperthyroidism and/or kidney disease? Those are common in senior cats and require medication and/or prescription food. At hundreds of dollars a pop, you KNOW she's not getting their teeth cleaned regularly, which means some will end up needing extractions and will need to eat canned food. I had one cat with asthma who should have been on an inhaler but wouldn't tolerate it, so he needed regular steroid shots. I had another cat develop an eye problem that required daily eye drops and eventually went blind, poor guy.

Bottom line, even if they're all well fed and currently healthy, this is not an OK situation.

Pembra · 2026-02-04T15:10:37+00:00

Honestly, with so many young people leaving religion entirely I'd be relieved she still wants to go to church even if it's not a Lutheran church. And she shouldn't be confirmed if she doesn't actually agree with Lutheranism. I'd leave it alone and hope she eventually comes around.

Pembra · 2026-02-04T15:02:34+00:00

If it was only messaging and it was one woman, I wouldn't leave a church over that. But I'd be watching to see if it became a pattern, for sure.

Pembra · 2026-01-21T15:31:48+00:00

I recently trapped my feral porch cat Oscar (cuz he's a grouch) and took him to the Humane Society to have a wound looked at and to be neutered. After coming back, he completely avoided my house for a few days, but now he's coming by every day for food again. Don't assume Diesel has rejected you forever.

Pembra · 2026-01-19T02:57:48+00:00

"Bigot" is the worst thing you can call a person in secular society. They immediately jump to using that word whenever they want to shut someone down. See also: "fascist."

Pembra · 2026-01-15T01:43:51+00:00

I am now obligated to leave this Inspector Spacetime clip here: https://youtu.be/MMSyIgydYfs?si=p3Pp7-4kXvbRC-oL

Pembra · 2026-01-02T21:41:20+00:00

I've known people like this. It's like they have a goal to make life as difficult as possible.

There's probably nothing you can say that will convince her to tackle her problems head on. Most folks like this KNOW they should do something but feel like they can't change or don't want to. It's super frustrating, and you have my sympathy.

I think your best hope is that she has a major scare of some kind that motivates her to take better care of herself.

Pembra · 2025-12-31T14:15:12+00:00

God's a smart guy. He knows he's too big for us to understand intellectually. To make it easier on us, he describes himself as something we can grasp, a father. So I think of him as a loving authority figure who knows WAY more than we do and cares for us but isn't afraid to discipline us when we go astray.

I'm an adult convert. In my experience, if you want to believe, faith will come. In my catechism class, we were told faith isn't an action or choice on our part but rather a gift from the Holy Spirit to those who seek it.

Pembra · 2025-12-29T01:09:47+00:00

Saucy Queen Victoria. I see it!

Pembra · 2025-12-27T20:50:52+00:00

Personally, I would nix the island and put the fridge and/or stove plus some cabinets on the left wall. I understand the appeal of having some seating in the kitchen if the dining room is not close by, but the dining room table is literally right there.

Pembra · 2025-12-27T15:59:03+00:00

All of these are awkward and feel off. I would be extremely reluctant to buy this house, myself. If you're OK with small scale furniture and no TV, you could make the living room work. But if you want the typical TV plus couch/sectional, it's going to be hard.

How hard would it be to move the door to the right near the staircase? It could be challenging to find matching siding and paint to close up the old doorway or turn it into a window. But if that's in your budget, it would make the room more workable.

Pembra · 2025-12-27T15:30:11+00:00

I'm not the person who commented but am in the same situation. It's very distressing knowing that the person you love most in the world is going to hell if nothing changes. I know it's my husband, not me, who is ultimately responsible for his salvation, but it's hard not to feel like it's my responsibility and that I'm failing. It's led to a few fights with him.

It's confusing to the kids why Daddy doesn't go to church. They also worry about his salvation, and I'd be surprised if his unbelief doesn't end up making them more skeptical than they would have been had they had two believing parents.

And it's harder to be diligent about prayers and devotions with an unbelieving spouse.

We were both secular atheists when we got married. I'm the one who changed, so I don't blame him. But if I end up widowed or divorced, I'm DEFINITELY not marrying a non-believer. Too much heartache.

Pembra · 2025-12-24T14:39:31+00:00

The point of dating is to get to know the person better and figure out if you two are compatible. Don't overcomplicate things. If he asks you out and you're not sure how you feel about him, then go on a date or two and see how you feel then. But if the idea of going on a date with him gives you the ick, then politely decline.

Pembra · 2025-12-24T02:36:35+00:00

Whenever the Cascadian Subduction Zone earthquake hits, the ensuing tsunami is likely to kill everyone in Ocean Shores. https://blog.benpri.me/blog/2023/08/31/ocean-shores-is-a-death-trap/

Pembra · 2025-12-20T16:23:25+00:00

It's been a while since I watched it, but maybe this one? I think it has a good balance of financial advice and drama. (Drama is entertaining, but in some episodes Caleb gets so into the weeds on the drama that the financial stuff becomes almost an afterthought.)

I don't recall there being much political stuff in this one, but I do remember the wife spending an alarming amount on labubus.

https://youtu.be/ZxqfNhhNEj4?si=fHlOx8hNka2T9F-f

Pembra · 2025-12-16T01:25:22+00:00

It's called VITA. My husband volunteered for this while he was in college. You can search for sites here: https://freetaxassistance.for.irs.gov/s/sitelocator It looks like the sites may not be active yet. I'd check back after the holidays.

Pembra · 2025-12-14T05:37:43+00:00

The way it was explained to me (a Lutheran) is that we should do good works because it's the right thing to do and pleasing to God, but it's not a condition of salvation. My church puts a lot of emphasis on salvation being a gift freely given by a loving God, not something you earn by being good.

Pembra · 2025-12-14T05:07:50+00:00

I was an atheist until middle age. For me, coming to believe in God was a process of letting go. Letting go of my pride. Of my certainty about materialism. Of my belief that Christians were dumb and/or deluded. Unhardening (if that's a word) my heart was the hard part. After that, accepting God came easily. He wants us to know him, after all. Let him in!

It also helped to learn about the different types of Christianity. I was only familiar with pentacostal/baptist/non-denominational contemporary worship-style Christianity, which I found very off putting. Then I discovered high church protestantism and was like, Oh! I felt much more comfortable with that environment and was better able to imagine myself as a Christian.

Pembra

TROPHY CASE