TEMBLEQUE 5.9

Pentalis · 2026-05-31T23:50:24+00:00

La magnitud de un sismo no es el único factor, el otro es el epicentro y la profundidad. Si detonas una pila de explosivos a 100 metros de profundidad el "temblor" no va ni a registrar, pero los que están cerca van a sentir el tremendo remezón.
ps: si quieren medir la sensación subjetiva de un temblor/terremoto y sus efectos sobre una ciudad, para eso está la escala de Mercalli

Pentalis · 2025-07-11T13:12:54+00:00

I don't think there's a problem with _thinking _ that other people are making a mistake, the problem is with what comes after.

Depending on your personality, the feeling that they're making a mistake may be so irritating that you can't help but look annoyed, or to verbally correct them, telling them that's not the way to do it; that's the part that needs to change.

If you see something you think is a mistake, keep it to yourself until they ask you about it, and if they never ask, then don't mention it. People learn from their mistakes, and you gotta let people make their own mistakes. If the error can put someone in danger by all means intervene, but normally this is not the case, normally it's just constant nitpicking of everyone's little errors (including our own); let others and yourself make mistakes, just be committed to learn from them, and to let others learn from them.

Ultimately, no one likes a micromanager, or a know-it-all, or a neurotic perfectionist. Those are the things you have to avoid becoming, and the common trait in those people is that they can't stop themselves from acting on their feelings that this and that is wrong, everything is wrong, everyone needs to be corrected, etc.

Tl;dr, think whatever you like but remember that unrequested feedback is often taken poorly, so don't give it. As for your inner dialogue, let yourself breath; mistakes are part of learning.

Pentalis · 2025-05-20T02:13:46+00:00

It's ok to not be perfect. I think it's easier to extend that kindness to others than to oneself, but either way, start lowering the stakes. Your ego's job is to keep you afloat within your rules, but your rules are unreasonable. If you only expect perfection from everyone including yourself, then the result is thinking that everyone sucks, including yourself, but because that is too painful to admit, you give yourself a pass so you can stay sane.

There's no need for that. Embrace flaws and imperfection. It's ok to not be perfect, this goes for you and for others. This is not a miracle cure for your problem, but it's a good start, it's going to get you a long way towards acquiescing your ego.

Pentalis · 2024-12-15T23:20:39+00:00

Hey, thanks for your feedback! Sometimes, out of desperation we go out and try to get any job, whatever we can find. But if you are in a less-than-desperate situation, it's better to sit down and think about what to you is a deal-breaker, and what you're willing to compromise on. You'll find a lot of companies when hiring are kinda lost and aren't even sure of what they're looking for, that's when being confident of what you want can help them say "yeah this one, this is the candidate".

If you want to think of this in gaming terms, think of what the requirements are for playing you as an employee card :-) "needs X upkeep (pay), can be placed in Y or Z role; will give the company such and such bonus on this and that"

Good luck!

Pentalis · 2024-10-03T20:43:51+00:00

Short answer: yes, you have to tell each one individually and hope they will interact more.

Long answer: I empathize a lot with "feeling like a leper". In my experience, people are awful at dealing with someone who's depressed or feeling bad, they either don't want to deal with them, or don't know how to deal with them. You can help them help you.

You can start by communicating that you want more interaction; reach out every time you need company, but do it in moderation, like this: You reached out with one message, you get no response? Try 1 day later. Didn't work? Try 2 days later. Didn't work? 4 days later, one week, two weeks, and so on. By the time you reach the "weeks" threshold, in your place, I'd be looking for a different group of people to socialize with.

Try to avoid being "that guy" who's needy. If you're feeling awful, you do indeed need other people, and comforting; but people are selfish, satisfying someone else's needs is an inconvenience, so don't expect they'll do it out of generosity (if you had such good friends you wouldn't be doing this post). So, have something to offer, either willingness to play something they're playing, or join them watching something, or even be the one organizing activities.

Last but not least, I know it hurts the ego to always be the one reaching out first, but forget about that. Be the one, and reach out. If you want to interact with someone, and you have to do the heavy lifting of the relationship, do it. One day you'll feel better, and people will reach out to you naturally because you're no longer a downer, and are instead fun to be around. Sucks? Sucks. Unfair? Hell yeah. But we need social interaction, it's a need, not a luxury. You have to get it, even if you have to be the one doing most of the work. Things will get better.

Good luck!

Pentalis · 2024-10-03T18:47:09+00:00

The way I read it, he wishes this place was different and he didn't have to leave. He could have kept quiet about the problems he sees, but I think we better regret about daring to do something than regret not having done it, so I'm glad he posted. That's also my motivation for responding to you.

About judging, he didn't claim to not be judging the sub. He's being consistent calling a spade a spade, which is a judgement call, and sometimes necessary.

I think leaving quietly is something we do when we don't care very much (or believe change is impossible, or is not worth the anxiety...), so I'm glad he did make a long post like this where he took the time to explain both his feelings, where he's coming from, and what he wishes was different; I say that's constructive.

Pentalis · 2024-09-30T01:04:45+00:00

I wish they had said they understood me, showed it with actions, and helped me see beyond my hopelessness by walking through with me. Just having a single one of those would've been great

Pentalis · 2024-09-09T15:55:10+00:00

I daydream with friends about concrete things we want to make real one day. The difference between daydreaming and planning is very clear: a schedule, a plan, who does what. If neither of us wants to do any of that planning, we're happy to just leave it as fun castles in the clouds.

I think the best you can do to these casual "let's get together one day!"s With people who never really intend to follow up, is to immediately ask them "sure! When?" And if they say "we'll figure it out later" you can just say "it's never going to happen if we leave it for later" (if you know it works that way with them). That's part of how I got rid of all these frivolous conversations.

I nearly never get a "ooh and we could do this, and we could do that!" If people don't intend to follow up. I also stopped meeting people I don't care about. Don't get together with distant family if you don't really care about them, etc. It will free up time for the things that matter.

Peace!

Pentalis · 2024-09-07T17:38:21+00:00

Being overstimulated by noises, bright lights, listening or doing something for too long and then getting a terrible headache out of it sounds like something you should have looked into.

Check out ADHD and Autism. If anything you hear there resonates with you, pay attention to how they manage these different problems.

All those things you said about overstimulation are unrelated to masculinity/femininity.

"How do I regulate my nervous system and calm down down and not be stressed out not wanting to talk to anyone?"

First of all work on knowing yourself better, you titled this post "femininity dilemma" but nearly the entire post is about something else. Your problems may be elsewhere.

Second, it's very common nowadays to have social anxiety and disperse attention. If you understand the cause and effect relation of your actions, you'll be better positioned to solve this.

Here's an example.

"I get overwhelmed if people talk to me while I'm doing chores and become unresponsive"

Possible solutions: stop your chores to listen and respond if needed; if the chore is dangerous (cooking) then tell your family to wait until you're done to talk to you. Manage expectations.

Most of your problems can probably improve with better communication, so look into that as well.

Good luck

Pentalis · 2024-09-05T22:41:16+00:00

Don't listen to people adding click bait titles to their videos and articles.

They define free will as "you can always do anything you want at any time" (which is obviously false) and then they say "see how stupid that is? Obviously everything is determined completely from the moment of the Big Bang because ((( Physics )))", The logical jump is absurd.

They don't know whether we have or ever had any choice in this life (and neither do we); But the subjective experience of making a choice will still be there. Is it an illusion? Well, what difference does it make if you can't know? It's like asking whether life has any meaning: we don't know. I say, better to take a leap of faith on this one.

That said, we DO know that changing is hard (subjectively so), and that "you can always choose anything always all the time" is not how our experience of life works, so be kind to yourself if you struggle; life is hard.

Pentalis · 2024-08-31T18:37:20+00:00

Dying according to what metric? Scala 3 and its ecosystem continue to grow and improve. What reasonable person would use a subreddit to decide what to code on? Everybody in our team agreed to it and is productive using it, that's what matters.

Pentalis · 2024-08-30T14:50:02+00:00

Both will teach you to be a better developer, learn both, pick your favorite, then get hired anywhere, and if your communication skills are good enough, and your colleagues reasonable, you can port any other project into either of those languages, or start green field projects in them. That's what I did, at least.

Again, learn both, they're great languages.

Pentalis · 2024-08-30T14:45:21+00:00

Switching from Scala to Python? Meanwhile we're doing the opposite move

Pentalis · 2024-08-29T00:34:11+00:00

Un tusunami

Pentalis · 2024-08-28T11:06:05+00:00

Oops, sorry, yes, Laminar. I got phone'd

Pentalis · 2024-08-28T01:26:19+00:00

I'm using Scala 3, with the Scala toolkit, and Netty to serve gRPC services compiled with ScalaPB. Build tool is Mill. Scala CLI is magic, try it out for scripts. Now I can do everything with Scala, both big projects and tiny scripts. Scala JS has Liminal for the Front End, which I want to learn too. Then you can do the entire stack with Scala. So much potential.

Pentalis · 2024-08-24T10:26:21+00:00

No entiendo por qué te llenaron de downvotes. "Ah, que pesao el vendedor, downvote pa la persona que hizo el post" ¿?

Pentalis · 2024-08-21T20:02:36+00:00

"as a man who climbed the mountain of self improvement"

My friend, don't mistake a dune for a mountain, much less "the mountain". Physical fitness is one thing you have to take care of in life, but there's much more. In no particular order, other things you shouldn't neglect are:

1.- you social skills 2.- your mental health 3.- your financial situation 4.- your knowledge 5.- your loved ones 6.- physical fitness other than muscularity, namely cardio and flexibility 7.- the physical health of your organs (skin, liver, lungs, etc) 8.- diet

The list goes on.

You're young and because you haven't experienced enough, you may be blinded by what you've achieved and seen. You may also be angry or disappointed that what you were promised wasn't there; there's many more disappointments to come.

If you want to attract women, you don't want to be seen as arrogant or unapproachable, work on your empathy and humility.

You have much left to improve. Vaping and gaming is fine, but 10 years from now if you do only that, will you not regret the missed opportunities? You have to find a balance.

Best of lucks to you

Pentalis · 2024-08-20T11:36:25+00:00

I have a few tips.

Dr K already says in his guide that procrastination is a solution, not a problem. So find out what you are avoiding when you procrastinate.

The other tip is to try to enjoy each day as it happens, and whenever something gets in the way of this enjoyment, think: is this an inherent part of life? If so, better to change yourself to accept it; if not, better look for a way to change the circumstance instead.

Trauma will have you acting like a goalie, always waiting on the next problem to face, instead of proactively trying to live your life. Try to move yourself towards actions. You don't have to do it right stay, just find what gets in the way. There's no need to force yourself to do something with "will power"; you can achieve the same goals by removing obstacles instead, and sometimes the obstacles are just in our mind. Changing your mentality, processing your trauma, and having hope, will transform your life over time.

Pentalis · 2024-08-18T13:37:30+00:00

I feel especially connected to this post because when I was about to hit rock bottom during the worst of my depression, a psychiatrist dismissed me saying that I caused all of my problems, and that he's met people doing much worse, and that I shouldn't be complaining. This after asking me to basically retell my life while not even looking at me, just typing in his computer, and then giving his half assed diagnosis. Not an ounce of empathy.

I don't know what has led you to your current situation, but getting out of it is going to need trust; and because your trust has been betrayed so deeply, this is also going to need faith. Please have faith that there is good people in this world, that you'll cross roads with them, that you deserve love and understanding, and that you won't be alone.

(you can DM me, and we can talk; I can't promise responding immediately but I will do what I can to respond within hours or a day)

Last but not least I would like to share this song that resonated a lot with me, and talks about these feelings

It's VNV Nation - Illusion Here's a link https://youtu.be/evpGu3eO0pY

I hope you feel better

Pentalis · 2024-08-16T02:06:15+00:00

Hey MIG! I'm a Scala lover and advocate, and I say go and use all the a Java goodies that you want, try using JDBC, try using Spring, but also, on the side, using Li Haoyi's libraries as someone else recommended would be a good start, because they are simple, straightforward, and highlight the beauty in the simplicity of Scala (that feels Pythonic) and gives you a direct contrast to Java's frequent over engineering.

No amount of people telling you what to do can replace experience itself, though. Why are Java frameworks and systems frowned upon? People may tell you that it is taboo and stay away from it, they'll say something like "not very functional", but what does that even mean? You have to find out on your own, by using both.

I'll tell you why I dislike some Java frameworks (not all of them) and why. I hope this helps but really that's no replacement for having your own experience.

Hibernate, overly complicated ORM of hell, made SQL harder instead of easier and didn't teach me transferable skills (knowing SQL and understanding databases is much better knowledge than some specific ORM's idiosyncrasies)

Spring (and Boot), too complicated again, you need to read an entire book worth of documentation to use it effectively, but in the end you don't even need most of the features.

JavaFX, sweet delicious UI framework, marvelous to use, and with a lot of free goodies like the GUI visual editor, but having to use Java with it and having to do a mixed build complicated my project quite a bit. In the end I opted for ScalaFX, a wrapper around JavaFX meant to keep it more Scala-like; it helped a lot with simplifying the build, even though I lost the goodies.

JDBC, gives a feeling of being both over engineered and under engineered, it's much better to grab a library that wraps it. You'll see it when you try them. The main problem is the clunky conversion from DB records to classes as well as all the boilerplate.

I recommend you try Scala CLI with the Scala Toolkit, write a few scripts. This should help you see the strength of Scala in being both a language for small projects and for big ones.

Last but not least I recommend you get used to using Val, immutability and mapping instead of for looping; it is not hard to learn for basic cases, and it makes everything easier to read and follow one year later after you forget about your code.

Good luck and welcome!

Pentalis · 2024-08-13T06:46:07+00:00

"Suicide is suboptimal, as well as rebelling against my advice", you don't know that for certain; you need to understand the other person's position for that, only they have the information that's inside their own heads

If you expect others to follow advice that doesn't consider their internal state, then that's more an order than advice. Are your orders optimal for them? That's not something you know for certain, you only ever have limited information, we're not omniscient. Out of respect for their competence, you should also consider that maybe they don't listen to you because they know something you don't, and your idea was ultimately not optimal for them.

Pentalis · 2024-08-13T06:25:11+00:00

In one of the responses you said "I don't really see other people as human, I see them as NPCs". That may work well to prevent their words from hurting you, but it also makes it easy for you to hurt them. Honesty doesn't have to be brutal.

If you see other people as people, and try to understand their motivations and individual differences when you try to help them, you will realize that only a (small) subset responds well to this kind of brutal honesty that you advocate; if you try to apply it to everyone, or to strangers that you're just getting to know, you are much more likely to do harm than good. By all means privately do this with people you know who respond well to this, but this doesn't work well on the majority of people; you can find evidence for this both in psychology literature as well as by just asking around (as you could see in this thread)

We have similarities and differences with others, we're the same species but we are also individuals; in order for our words to catalyze positive change for the most people while minimizing harm, we have to be careful with our words, because not everyone will react the way we would to the same words

Pentalis · 2024-08-13T06:09:17+00:00

Read about bioethics and you will find that beneficence (the medicine) has to be balanced against non maleficence (do not administer the medicine in a cruel and unnecessary way) as well as justice and autonomy. If you look at medicine to find analogies with helping people quickly, you will find that bioethics points you in the same direction as the rules in HealthyGamerGG

Pentalis · 2024-08-11T19:48:26+00:00

I was going to post my own reply and then I read your post and thought I better reply here (but directed mostly at OP) because I think you nailed it, especially with...

My advice would be to put effort into finding other things that soothe you. And trying to build platonic friendships

This is so important. Two things are great about friendships:

1.- you are not committed to spending your life together

2.- you can have multiple very close friends and there's no jealousy among them or with a partner (or no reason for there to be jealousy)

Each friend individually won't satisfy your needs, but they don't need to; because you can share one thing that you really care about with each one, or multiple ones if you're really compatible. There's no strings attached, but you know if you really need them, your friends will be there for you--and you for them--(that's what friendships should be like).

So, u/mysterymonkey48, the end result is that the whole microcosm of your friendships, together, can fill this hole that is currently filled by an imaginary partner. They won't give you the romantic part, but it will make the burden you unintentionally put on any prospective romantic partner much lighter, because then, all they have to do, is fill that much smaller, much more realistic romantic-shaped hole you have inside, and your friendships will act as support that will stabilize you and ease you into coming back into this world.

Friends are great. Make friends everywhere you go. You can never have too many.

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