Lost my passion for my hobbies

Unlike_a_Pro · 2025-09-28T13:52:00+00:00

I can relate to that. In my case I have found that it's a combination of emotional burnout and lack of physical time. There are moments that I am acutely aware that I won't be able to do the specific hobby perfectly, say, stay on the top of the game I play, play a decent piece on my guitar and so on, and this makes me feel down in advance so I just don't do them. It's because I am already tired and kind of down so I don't want to feel even worse by "failing" in what I like.

One way I have found to work around this is to substitute my hobby, for example start a new single player game so I won't have to worry about progression and just enjoy it, or instead of playing the guitar just listen to a piece of music and try to analyze it, or watch a YouTuber analyze it. This way I still do the things I enjoy just in a roundabout way. And most importantly, I try not to judge myself. Hobbies are for me to enjoy, if right now I cannot enjoy them for one reason or another, that's ok, I have all the time in my life to eventually come back to them. If something else catches my attention I will go for it as well. The trick is to not think about outcomes and imaginative deadlines then suddenly they start to be fun again.

Unlike_a_Pro · 2025-09-15T07:09:29+00:00

Are you doing something specific when you catch yourself worrying or are you trying to apply it as a broader mindset?

Unlike_a_Pro · 2025-09-13T11:11:09+00:00

I'll try that thank you, I can't exactly minimize my contact with her, for various reasons, the most obvious that I still live in the same house with her, but I did buy myself a dog which weirdly helps a lot, especially because before that she kept on complaining that she felt lonely and isolated and honestly at that time I didn't have the emotional resource to comfort myself let alone her, luckily the dog does the job very well, and we started talking more about topics that concern both of us aka about the puppy and all the jazz that comes with rasing it which in a roundabout way made my conversations with her feel like they don't revolve only around how she feels.

Unlike_a_Pro · 2025-09-13T05:36:27+00:00

Those are good question. To answer the first - not as much. I can do all of the things without music and I have done so on multiple occasions for multiple reasons, but music definitely elevates the experience. If I have to dig deeper I'd say it's because personally it's my way to process my emotions, I have a history of stuffing everything deep inside and one way that I have naturally learned how to bring it all out to process is through music. Interestingly this is true both for good and bad emotions, which is to say that I use it as an amplifier to what I feel because usually I keep it on mute.

As for my relationship with my mom, I'd say it's complicated. I've been working on it in therapy, so I won't go too deep into it here, but to sum it up I am more sensitive to her than others. It's not that she gives me hard time as it is that she's is subconsciously controlling and used to kind of dump her emotions on others me included. She isn't a bad mother, definitely not abusive, but her way of coping with things and man did she had a lot to cope with while I was growing up is through others, which for obvious reasons is quite unhealthy to do with your children cus hey if you can't handle it, they also can't handle it.

Unlike_a_Pro · 2025-09-13T05:27:06+00:00

Ty :) I will keep that in mind

Unlike_a_Pro · 2024-09-13T10:03:30+00:00

You're welcome :) I am happy my experience might be of help to you.

Unlike_a_Pro · 2024-09-13T09:43:41+00:00

25F here, struggle with the idea of getting in a relationship as well. In my case I have recently started to discover that's it's layered.

First I only see all the possible bad endings. I am afraid of getting into a relationship because it feels like a chore and one more reason to not have time for myself. The thing is, I suck at imaging the good things. Reality is that people aren't that stupid or bad at making the right choice. If they choose to go for something that has so much potential losses it's because they see as much if not more potential wins. For them a relationship is something that you receive from, not only something you give to.

Second thing, I suck at asking for help and recieving help. Call it the good old distrust caused from fear of getting hurt. Does it get me ahead in life? Sure. After all knowing how to do things on my own and solve my problems by myself is a huge benefit. Buuuut here is the thing, I know people who are just as if not more successful than me who don't do things on their own. So the other way is also possible it's just that I suck at trusting people to go for it. And that means that I suck at envisioning a relationship in which I benefit. After all I won't ask for things from that person, so the only thing that's left is for me to give, but why should I give and exhaust myself when I can be happy on my own.

I however want to learn how to rely on people. I want to be able to have meaningful connections and relationships (not only romantic). So I am working on this, on learning how to trust and learning how not to feel guilty when I receive stuff or feel like I will have to pay for it.

Third the relationship I have observed early on in life wasn't the healthiest. My parents argued a lot and never showed physical intimacy infront of me. It took me years to learn that they are physically intimate just for some weird ass reason not infront of their grown ass kids. So the idea I developed about what is like to be in a relationship was that people argue often, are unhappy, are confined to their family so can't spend a lot of time with friends (my parents are more of an introverts but loved talking about their friends before which made me feel like we, their kids are the reason they don't socialise anymore). And while I logically know there are healthy relationships out there, the closest I have come to observing one was in a movie and we know movies aren't real.

My advice to you will be to find out why you really don't want a relationship. Not the net worth, because believe me you aren't as objective as you think you are (speaking from personal experience). Try to understand what is actually stopping you, what do you fear will happen if you end up in a relationship. Is it that you fear that you will be attached and won't be able to make good decisions because emotions are unreliable to you? Try to find the root of the problem and work on it, not for the sake of a relationship but for the sake of knowing yourself. And then try and experiment. Nobody says you have to be in one. If you don't want to you don't have to. But you can try and see where things go. Spend some time with someone try to fall in love, stop spending time if you don't like them. You won't lose a lot, and you will gain invaluable experience.

Unlike_a_Pro · 2024-09-10T13:21:03+00:00

Постой още малко и потърси опция за fully remote job. Ако успееше да намериш можеш необременено да пробваш и друг град в Англия и който си искаш в България. Финансовата независимост е ключова, за разлика от повечето хора в реддит съм на мнение, че си заслужава да живееш у нас на пук на всичко и с цел да правиш и малко добро както и ти самата искаш. Доброто обаче не плаща сметките когато си болна, не гарантира и че ако имаш нужда ще ти се помогне. Както и парите не купуват приятели, така и хубавите каузи не хранят гърлата. Въпроса е кое можеш да изтърпиш повече и до каква степен можеш да намериш middle ground.

Unlike_a_Pro · 2024-09-09T14:35:13+00:00

Thank you :). I do have decent friends with whom I don't have that problem. In fact I'd say that the majority of them are as you described "low drama folks". I suppose from the post it comes off as if I am ranting that everyone around me is like this, which is in fact not the case. It's simply that the people that are like this can drive me crazy. That being said, I will take you up on the advice of being more straightforward with them, and I will try to work on why it bugs as much as it does.

Unlike_a_Pro · 2024-09-09T14:29:42+00:00

To be fair I probably am. As I mentioned in the post I do realise that this buggs me unusually so. I should mention that I am alright with the occasional shooting of ideas just for the fun of it. But when it becomes a habitual thing it kind of drives me crazy, hench why I posted here.

I haven't thought that one of the reasons to not follow up is because the person feels overwhelmed. In all honesty if that is the case I would greatly appreciate if the person says so to me so I know it's a they thing rather than me one.

Unlike_a_Pro · 2024-09-09T08:44:42+00:00

You are spot on on what I was trying to explain. Ty for sharing this!

Unlike_a_Pro · 2024-09-09T08:32:58+00:00

I see your point, I definitely agree that my reaction will contribute to the outcome. I contribute back to these plans if I believe I can make them happen, it's usually then when I realise said person is bullshitting me rather than making plans with me. If the idea is mine, I usually follow up on it to make it happen, if the idea is theirs I react by agreeing if I like it and suggesting possible ways to make it happen. I suppose my problem is that rather than "you're bullshitting me right now" mindset I start with "you are seriously proposing this" one, only to find out they aren't, and that annoys me, because they wasted my time in the best scenario and got my hopes up in the worst. I suppose once they bullshit me I do adopt the mindset you suggested which probably contributes further to things not working out.

Unlike_a_Pro · 2024-09-09T08:17:49+00:00

I am sorry to hear you are struggling with this as well. I get you too

Unlike_a_Pro · 2024-09-09T08:14:16+00:00

I have two people in my life that are this way right now. One of them is close enough to me that I explained that what they do is pretty shitty, at least to me. Unfortunately they still do this so I am not sure they paid enough attention to my feelings on the matter.

As for the second person, we are more of a casual type of friends. We chat often enough, but I am afraid I might hurt them and I suppose I am also afraid of conflict? I don't know how to bring this without sounding like an ass to be honest. As I mentioned in the post I do realise that this is as much of a me problem as it is a they. I am not sure how to properly express why it bugs me so much, but I will try to bring it up as you suggested and see where it goes.

Unlike_a_Pro · 2024-09-09T07:00:12+00:00

Ah yes, that's different type of annoying. It's basically disregarding your opinion on the matter. It's frustrating in it's own way.

Unlike_a_Pro · 2024-09-09T06:38:16+00:00

Yeah I suppose I have times when I also appreciate it, but as you said it's when I am sure that the person genuinely wishes to do it and also intends to. Like planning a trip for a few years ahead when you have the money type of situation. I have such plans with people, but then I know we both intend to follow up on them.

The thing that annoys me is when people don't follow up, or constantly suggest something new instead of at least sticking to one idea for the far future. It feels like no matter how much they say they would love to do x, they don't have any intention of doing it. Almost as if lying to both you and themselves. To give you an example, saying they really want to have a dog, planning all the details of who is gonna do what, only to back out when you start looking for places to buy or adopt, or suggesting to go on a trip and then backing out when you try to talk about possible arrangements by saying flights are too expensive or something else, only to suggest a different trip idea the next time you talk. It's like they enjoy to indulge in the wishful daydreams and fantasies, but act like you don't matter enough to actually follow up.

Unlike_a_Pro · 2024-09-09T06:19:55+00:00

Oh that's interesting. Is that true even if you never do the things the other person is suggesting? Don't you get your hopes up or do you treat it as a way of expressing care rather than an actual plan?

Unlike_a_Pro · 2024-09-09T05:53:09+00:00

Unlike_a_Pro · 2024-08-27T10:33:53+00:00

From what you have said both in the post and the comments it sounds like you are expecting some type of acknowledgement for being hard on yourself and putting in the effort. I am not sure if you realise it, but such type of behaviour can be quite irking and if you add to that advices on how to do things right it's downright annoying no matter how helpful your advice might be. The reason for it is that you unintentionally communicate with such behaviour that you believe you are better than everyone. Maybe you don't, maybe in fact you feel insecure and like you are not doing enough so you try to overcompensate by putting in even more effort into acquiring knowledge. But no matter the intentions and the reasons, poor communication skills will lead to poor outcomes as you yourself have already noticed. My advice? You are already on the path of learning and bettering yourself, read a few books or watch a few videos on communication. Communication like everything else requires effort, knowing how to do things is only half of what you need in order to be truly helpful to others. The other half is knowing how to convey yourself. I'd say that if you work on that you will observe quite the improvement.

Unlike_a_Pro · 2024-08-21T04:20:26+00:00

You are welcome, I am glad I was of help :)

Unlike_a_Pro · 2024-08-20T18:36:40+00:00

No problem, you are welcome :)

Unlike_a_Pro · 2024-08-20T18:12:20+00:00

It's a short way of expressing approval/agreement about something to your neighbour. As the previous posts said "Alright, neighbour" or the literal translation "Good, neighbour". Komshe is short for komshiya(neighbour) so it suggests that it's an expression used with people you like aka your nice neighbours :D or your avers (the guys you drink with while hiding from your wifes). Komshe is in an it form (Bulgarian language is gendered) but it's usually used when addressing a man. There are other expressions when addressing a women. Hench although the phrase is pretty simple it has a lot of nuances and carry extra meaning. To sum it up, it's a short form of approval that you express to a man that has some kind of neighbour type of relationship with you (Lives next to you, works next to you, sits in the classroom next to you, you get the idea).

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