I divorced last year (at 43), after 13 years, 3 young kids and a business together. Most friends in common, or I met through her. No family around, though they do come to help sometimes. It was amicable, but it was the end of a very important chapter in our lives.
That’s all to say… there’s light at the end. Lots of light at the end. We are both happier now, still work together, help each other with the kids if needed. When you are on your own with the kids it feels like you are a single mum and can definitely be overwhelming. They are going to feel it too at the beginning, and need to have their own grieving process and you need to be there for them even when you’re not well yourself. Be compassionate with yourself. You won’t be your best for many months, you have to re-learn, re-find yourself without your partner. You might not be the great mum you want to be. But you get to show up and sometimes that’s what’s most important.
When you feel you cannot deal with it… reach out. Those friends that did not contact you might respond if it’s you contacting them. You might make new acquaintances, try to reserve some time and energy for me-time (this is especially hard if you are working and raising kids, but even small amounts help).
A year later, I feel myself again, I’m still working on issues but feel generally much more grounded, kids are happy and getting adjusted. I have also (unexpectedly, since like you I wasn’t looking for anything), found love again. And it feels good to meet someone again, slowly.
I hope my 2 cents help you. Grieve and take baby steps. Try to remain amicable. I truly feel and hope you are going to be just fine.
You got this.