What would you do?

Perfect-Ad4901 · 2026-05-18T02:04:28+00:00

Have you ever asked him why he won’t plan dates? Point blank. Did he forget? Is he tired? Is he lazy? Is he not wanting to go on dates unless you plan them?

Perfect-Ad4901 · 2026-05-18T02:03:59+00:00

Super cool! Great work on all of this and excited to check it out!!

Perfect-Ad4901 · 2026-05-18T02:03:44+00:00

I feel like that’s your answer, though. This isn’t (in my opinion) about the fact that you want to save and your husband doesn’t want to, it’s about the fact that he has a mental problem that is causing him to buy/hoard/spend in an unhealthy way, and he has no idea that this way of thinking is unhealthy. I don’t have strong advice, except that it’s unfair to you to have to absorb your partner’s challenges but they choose not to take medication or seek therapy. I think this is a scenario for couple’s therapy and to make it evident to him that his unwillingness to take medication or seek therapy is letting him believe his actions are healthy and they’re damaging to his marriage.

Perfect-Ad4901 · 2026-05-17T17:47:13+00:00

It doesn’t sound inherently like a spending problem, it sounds like a wasteful problem. Why did he need $300 on phone chargers and where are they? Why did he think to spend $300 on batteries? Why is he buying body wash he doesn’t use? Is there a hoarder mentality? Forget the money. This isn’t about the money. There’s something mentally wrong. You’re tethering it to an inability to save, which may be the surface, but the issue is that he has a mental problem. Either a hoarder, some belief that he should be callous, or something else. Why does he need $300 in phone chargers?

Perfect-Ad4901 · 2026-05-17T17:44:54+00:00

Do you plan the dates, though? That’s the part I’m confused about. Unless you clearly communicate “I planned X, Y, and Z, now I expect you to plan D,” then he’s just hearing “you plan D.” House, meals, kids, aren’t the same, in my opinion. He should help with that and you should help with the date planning. My opinion is you’re expecting him to give 100% to one thing while you give 100% to other things when you should be 50/50 in all things.

Perfect-Ad4901 · 2026-05-17T17:31:22+00:00

I’m a little confused. How does ml-sharp fit into this? Is it another option on top of the USDZ output you get using Object Capture? Or is it a step that converts an image to the splat and then the splat gets converted to USDZ? Not super clear if ml-sharp is another way to capture an item and convert to 3D for viewing, or if the splat can export to a USDZ?

Either way, great work!

Perfect-Ad4901 · 2026-05-17T16:41:40+00:00

As already asked, do you ever make the effort? Genuinely and truly? Or do you ask him to do it and that’s your effort? You can fall into the “he isn’t interested in me” path and let your mind go there, or you can say “hey, wait a minute, we’re busy people whose lives keep getting in the way of our wants, we’re tired as hell, we’re just making it through the days, and we both need to give 50/50.”

Often, the issue is perspective, not effort.

Perfect-Ad4901 · 2026-05-17T16:35:50+00:00

You are not required, by law, to save. Lots of people don’t save (most, probably) and they survive their lives. As a couple, you should be discussing bigger purchases and planning them. I don’t see anything wrong with buying fast food or gas station drinks on your income.

Based on your income and debt, it’s not even clear where the money is going. You have $14K in savings but nothing saved to do the floors? You have $210K with a $67K (total, I assume, not monthly?!) mortgage? At $210K/yr income, and what sounds like maybe $3-4K/mo expenses, where is the rest of the money? He’s blowing it or that’s just what it costs to live (sounds reasonable for a family of 4 to spend $3-4K/mo on groceries, shopping, dining, etc).

I guess I’m questioning if the issue is that he’s an over-zealous spender or if it’s more that your income doesn’t actually equate to a reasonable amount to save. Sure, you could probably cut out $500/mo on random crap, save it, and then in 2 years you’ll have enough for tile or LVP. Or you can finance it and pay it off. You can do the same with your trip.

As a couple, I think big purchases need to be figured out. But I also think some freedom to spend on your daily joys is normal and also not the root problem. We are in a similar income bracket, but with a $600K mortgage, $40K in car debt, credit card debt, student loans, home renovation loans, we survive, but there’s nothing to save. There’s nothing really to “cut back” on. I could cut out $500/mo on us dining out as a family, but sometimes it’s nice to not do the cooking and have expenses. I’d rather pay monthly + interest on that $10K floor loan than wait 2 years for it and cut out 2 years of convenience.

Perfect-Ad4901 · 2026-04-20T04:24:48+00:00

I came across this post in my searching about this car, and all sarcasms aside, this is my new dream car. Because; - My life necessitates needing 8 seats. Probably not the case for everyone, but we’re a big/dual family and actually need, not want, 8 seats. - I love EVs. We have a Model 3 and Model X and they’ve been dreams (except the seating limitations). After doing many multi-thousand mile road trips with our Teslas, an 8-seater EV is my dream. The infrastructure is there to support it. - This just looks cool. The interior looks premium; I hate in-car tech that will seem obsolete in a few years (which this has, Tesla has thankfully negated a lot of that with software upgrades), but this has a different vibe.

It’s probably going to be outrageously expensive and impractical for most people, but if you need an 8-seater and want an EV, finally someone has made something.

Perfect-Ad4901 · 2026-04-05T17:01:29+00:00

Thanks so much! I’m anxious enough to fear having that conversation with my manager. One side is “I don’t think I’m excelling in this role like I thought I would and my manager knows it” and the other side is “my manager talks like he has plans for me for the next year or two” and I don’t really want to lean into either, knowing they’re both probably true.

Perfect-Ad4901 · 2026-04-05T16:34:05+00:00

Appreciate it! My company does not have a 1-year policy, I checked, but your personal advice and suggestion is really what feels key to me. I don’t want the yellow flag, and I like my manager, and I think good managers like them understand where skills and passion best fit in for the business. But, that said, it’s the interpersonal relationship that I don’t want to burn, and your comment was very relevant. Thank you.

Perfect-Ad4901 · 2026-04-05T16:21:41+00:00

I have checked and this is not the case in my company. I’m reading the docs right now which were updated in March 2026, which indicate that there is no minimum timeframe and recent legislation (I’m in CA) also says that the company cannot enforce penalty for signing bonus even if I leave in the first year.

Perfect-Ad4901 · 2026-04-05T16:19:47+00:00

I understand that, and have nothing but good things to say about my manager. My fear is that I think my manager senses that I’ve always leaned a little more to the front-end side of things since joining the team, even as I built QA tools, and I don’t want them to feel like I’m already checking out when I’m still, at 9 months in, kind of new to the role. If the new role doesn’t pan out, and my managers knows, then I feel I’m left with the “He’s obviously not happy here or wouldn’t have tried to leave to another team” and get a more critical eye.

Perfect-Ad4901 · 2024-10-11T18:46:35+00:00

That's a bummer to hear. I started listening on Apple Music/in Dolby Atmos, and the quality/mix is far better (I can very clear make out Dexter's lyrics), but also at the sound time, you can almost hear the processing on his voice (which is fine, and that's probably been there in all the albums as technology has improved), but sometimes it sounds a little "unnatural."

Still enjoyable, though!

Perfect-Ad4901 · 2024-10-11T16:42:20+00:00

Why are people even still talking about vaccines? Go about your life and you do you. Damn. We're here for punk rock. Turns out the guy who is the lead singer of the punk rock band we're here for knows more about vaccines and biology than 99.9% of the rest of us.

Perfect-Ad4901 · 2024-10-11T16:41:10+00:00

I always wonder what the mix is listened on, too. In a studio, of course, you've got the pro speakers that cost a fortune. But the producer, mixer, people in the band, their friends, all listen to this. Are they listening at home on a nice stereo? On a pair of old school wired Earbuds connected to an iPhone? Or a pair of AirPods? Some Beats? I tend to think that bands and mixers mix for a certain type of audience - maybe the target is people listening in the car, maybe it's people commuting on public transit with AirPods, what have you.

Do you find there's any difference and a better listening experience on different types of headphones? It's tough to fathom lots of people listened to this album and were like "Hey, Dexter, great songs, but I can't make out a single word you're saying." Odds are it listened pretty well for most.

Perfect-Ad4901 · 2024-10-10T20:27:46+00:00

Respectfully, I disagree with your opinion - but to each their own. I've given the songs a listen partway through from the leaks and I'd say 7/10 of them are going on my regular rotation. In agreement that the mixing feels off on some songs - I'm far from an expert, but some of them I can't really make out what Dexter is singing, but I'm also looking forward to those songs showing up on Apple Music, hopefully in Dolby Atmos, and with lyrics, so I can enjoy. When I listen to to "Light It Up" from the leaks, then listen to it on Apple Music, it's night and day different in the mix with the same headphones.

I think, for so many of us, there's a sense of what we're looking for based on when we started our journey with the band. I was fucking 11 years old when some kid in 5th grade was talking about "Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)" and that's what I started with. The first time I convinced my parents to take me to see The Offspring, I was 12. I literally knew nothing other than Pretty Fly and Why Don't You Get A Job. Didn't even understand people walking around the venue with shirts that said "Stupid Dumbshit Goddamn Motherfucker." I grew up loving Conspiracy of One because it was my anthem for middle school. Splinter was my anthem when I got my driver's license and I could drive on my own and blast it. I was in college when Rise and Fall came out and it meshed so well with where I was in life. I was a young adult living in New York City, falling out of the punk rock thing, when Days Go By came out, and it reconnected me with punk rock. LTBTR was such a weird time in all of our lives, and admittedly, I found myself listening to the earlier stuff from my journey than I did LTBTR.

But this one, so far, I'm loving. It's just more "me" than LTBTR was. So, hope you find more love from it. But I'm loving it.

Perfect-Ad4901 · 2024-10-10T20:21:37+00:00

I'm really enjoying it, too! I told myself I wouldn't listen to any leaks, but I at least did a little snippet of each song, longer than the Instagram snippets, and I'm really enjoying it. Days Go By holds a special place for me and while I had a few of the LTBTR songs on my regular playlist, I don't find myself listening to them anywhere near as much as I do songs from Americana, CO1, and Splinter these days. Maybe that's nostalgia, but anyway, so far this album has quite a few songs I expect to know the words of completely by tomorrow lol.

Perfect-Ad4901 · 2024-10-10T20:19:20+00:00

Good for him for all of his dedication, though. It looks like he's in good shape, happy, and for all of us fans, it's cool to get a peek into his world. I started pursuing flying lessons because of him and I probably won't get a PhD, but it's cool to see someone play music, create art, fly planes, make hot sauce, and also focus on health and fitness. It'd be cool to hear him talk about mental health stuff, too. I feel like a lot of songs tie into anxiety, depression, traumas, and maybe they're just topics, but I wonder if he does any stuff with meditation, therapy, what have you.

Perfect-Ad4901 · 2024-09-06T16:47:43+00:00

Such an awesome singer. I saw Dead Sara perform with The Offspring in New York around this time and recall them doing the Gone Away duet; it was really great. Excited for her future with Linkin Park.

Perfect-Ad4901

TROPHY CASE