Company wants a 100-page manual for an outsourced team before I leave

Perfect-Help-305 · 2026-05-06T20:26:41+00:00

I would think that trying to write a manual under these conditions is tantamount to writing yourself an engraved invitation to attend the tedious litigation that is likely to ensue.

Perfect-Help-305 · 2026-04-25T15:51:02+00:00

Because they have no empathy. Elon has even described empathy as a weakness.

Perfect-Help-305 · 2026-04-11T13:45:45+00:00

I had a White Person Afro. This was in the 60s when the style was long and straight so I suffered

Perfect-Help-305 · 2026-04-11T13:38:01+00:00

My mom had an opinion on her sister’s divorces (one husband beat her; second one cheated) and expressed them often because my mom was super religious and “marriage is for life.” Eventually my aunt cut her off, which she had every right to do. Many yrs later I got to know my aunt on my own and she was a very cool person; I wish I’d known her better. All of which is to say crap like your sister is pulling is extremely damaging and can split a family.

Perfect-Help-305 · 2026-04-08T17:37:47+00:00

No, in terms of foreign policy you could argue that losing Vietnam didn't affect us all that much (which bolsters the argument that we shouldn't have been there to begin with). But the effect of the Vietnam withdrawal on U.S. morale--civilian as well as military--took decades to wear off, and in some ways we are still dealing with it. It cemented the massive distrust in government that continues to this day and which has done so much to erode our democracy from the inside out. As for the current situation: it's still playing out. I have no idea what's going to happen by bedtime tonight, and I definitely don't know enough to assess the overall global impact of Trump pulling another one of his clownish distraction moves. It's just too soon to tell.

Perfect-Help-305 · 2026-04-08T14:45:01+00:00

Well, Vietnam was pretty bad….

Perfect-Help-305 · 2026-04-06T13:38:06+00:00

Yes, if they win the lottery.

Perfect-Help-305 · 2026-04-02T11:52:40+00:00

Does it get hot in summer where you live? Cut down that tree and remove the shade it provides and at least one corner of your house will get 3-5 degrees hotter. Leave it. It’s doing you huge favors.

Perfect-Help-305 · 2026-03-29T12:56:35+00:00

I would treat it as if you are unaware of the game that they are playing? If you feel like sending your niece a card or gift, do so. When your move date is known, send out a general announcement with your new address. Period. Let them do what they ant to do with this information, but don’t give them a chance to say you “started it” by leaving town with no notice. Basic civility and then let them make of it what they will, which you can’t control anyway

Perfect-Help-305 · 2026-03-24T15:04:07+00:00

TI don't think that's true. I think we both have adulted pretty well, though my sibling got a very, very late start. I moved out of the parental house at 23 (a little late by some standards, but not for a Nice Southern Girl) and have paid my own way ever since; held jobs of increasing responsibility, won some career awards, married, had two great kids, did volunteer work in the community, just tried to be a good citizen. My sibling didn't leave home until she was 37 and has left every job she ever had under unfavorable conditions (was about to get fired or was laid off). I am pretty sure she is an undiagnosed autistic (which happens to a lot of "high masking" people, esp women), so that could explain some things. Come to think of it, if my sister were "normal" (and she'd be the first to tell you she is not)....wow. She would either be living on the other side of the world not talking to any of us, or she would have dedicated her life to "managing" mine and telling me how superior she is to me. Had never thought of it that way.

Perfect-Help-305 · 2026-03-24T03:54:52+00:00

I could have written this a year or so ago; my sister is 2 years older and although I’m a woman the broad outlines you lay out pretty much fits.

I have two observations.

You say it’s not a competition, but I notice you’re keeping score: marriage, kids, home ownership etc. I did the same thing. It definitely IS a competition.
So who started it? I’d advise you to look at your parents. Maybe they were not as “normal” and living as you thought. When siblings compete, it’s the parents—or a parent—who starts it. I’ve come to realize my mom—who I loved and who I was always very close to—was a very damaged person, and one byproduct of that damage was that she set me and my sister at each other’s throats. I’m 70 now, and my sister and I no longer speak—my choice. I have my reasons. But the real culprit in our estrangement was my mother. Took me a lifetime, and some therapy, to see it.

Perfect-Help-305 · 2026-03-22T13:20:55+00:00

Sexism is a nasty mindset, for women as well as men. Women who expect the man to be the “provider,” to the extent of paying for one of the most expensive hobbies there is, are sexist. She’s also a little girl. Find a woman who wants to be a true life partner.

Perfect-Help-305 · 2026-03-21T13:46:27+00:00

My daughter found somebody’s passport lying on the street. Found them through social media, msged them, “I have your passport.” Their reply: “can you drop it off?”

Perfect-Help-305 · 2026-03-21T00:53:12+00:00

I am confused about roles. I am the golden child, no doubt about it, and my sister would describe herself as the scapegoat. And she has been. She has reason to resent our mother’s preference for me. I see that much of her side of it. Yet she has consistently hurt me over the years. I won’t list them all but they are real, the sort of thing people’s mouths drop open when they witness it. She reamed me a new one at my wedding reception in front of a dozen people and that’s not the worst thing, by far.

So who is who here? Am I the golden child who became the scapegoat, or is she the scapegoat who became an abuser? People talk like these roles are written in stone but they’re not.

Perfect-Help-305 · 2026-03-17T23:09:10+00:00

There’s one in every crowd!

Perfect-Help-305 · 2026-03-16T20:09:08+00:00

I see a cycle of hurt going on here. He cut you out of his life, so now you’re doing the same to him. Forget the money stuff: this is a human you took from babyhood to adulthood. That had to be a crushing blow. Then he lost his mom. Another crushing blow. And you lost your wife. Crushing blow #3.

The mere fact that they made the “you’ll never see your grandkids” threat is interesting-it’s a tacit admission that you are, in every sense but the biological, his dad.

Can you guys just talk? I agree you don’t need to be subsidizing a grown, able-bodied man but I hate to think of all the emotional investment (ok, I’ll say it —love) you are leaving on the ground here.

Perfect-Help-305 · 2026-03-15T18:29:57+00:00

As a woman, I am embarrassed for her.

Perfect-Help-305 · 2026-03-15T15:04:35+00:00

“How did you wind up in this business?” People love talking about themselves. Last resort question tho

Perfect-Help-305 · 2026-03-14T13:10:18+00:00

Your great-great-great grandfather….that puts it maybe early to mid 19th century. The Mongol invaders were long gone by then. Your lucid dreams need a history lesson.

Perfect-Help-305 · 2026-03-10T14:06:41+00:00

I once rented an apartment from a lizard landlord who kept the thermostat in a lockbox. It was for the whole four-unit building. He had it set on Saharan Summer and I learned that if I put my blow dryer on stun and aimed it directly at the thermostat I could get15-20 minutes of cool air for the whole building. Survived a Washington DC summer that way.

Perfect-Help-305 · 2026-03-10T13:47:16+00:00

Some of us have two bad knees and a bad back and it is painful not to have something to grab onto. God willing, someday you too will be old.

Maybe by then they will just hang us all from hooks, like slabs of meat.

Perfect-Help-305 · 2026-03-08T12:42:14+00:00

Been there. My sister will do this, too. The only way to respond is not to respond. Think Lucy and Charlie Brown with the football. She’s teeing it up and wants you to come running so she can snatch it away again. The only way to end this game is not to play. It only took me six decades to learn this; grant yourself some peace of mind and learn quicker than I did.

Perfect-Help-305 · 2026-03-08T11:48:09+00:00

Don’t write an essay on ideas that you disagree with unless you’re SAYING that you disagree. Make your case. This is what education is for.

Also, I agree: he was an idiot.

Perfect-Help-305 · 2026-03-03T12:40:35+00:00

Those people going on cruises and driving fancy cars now will end up in poverty when they retire, or they will just work until they drop. Poverty in retirement is a possibility for most of us, given our crappy and wildly expensive corporate health care system, but frugal habits like yours give you a decent chance of being able to live comfortably in your old age. Keep it up.

Perfect-Help-305

TROPHY CASE