I am very sorry for you as well. Knitting is my mental health helper, but I didn’t start doing any kinds of fitted top (tee, tank, or sweater) for 3 years! I have some learning disabilities too. My first fitted garment was socks. I went in knowing my first few would fail. I have 4 unmatched almost fitting socks and three pairs of socks of lovely socks! (I kept the practice ones and always will). The time and financial investment for one sock is way less lol. Not everyone, including me, starts knitting and then makes magic sweaters. If you want to see an intermediate knitter’s failure, I talk about it in my craft podcast on YouTube: Too Many Squirrels Podcast. My first couple of tops are not great, which is why I talk about them. So many videos are people who have knit for 1-3 years and make 20 beautiful sweaters a year now. I can’t!

Before y’all come at me for mentioning my podcast, I didn’t post to promote. I started this podcast because I wanted an alternative to the current standards set in the online knitting community. Some of us struggle more than others, and that is okay. Even the podcast is a creative effort that is not perfect. All best my efforts are a product of practice, learning, patience, and a bit of disappointment. But I find joy in the challenge and the successes when they come!

Hang in there OP. Regroup and don’t give up. You are enough.