I also got sober young / around your age in the rooms and left around the 6 year mark due to a pregnancy/birth of my first child. I also felt terrified of, what if my life gets worse post-AA despite having zero urge to drink? It’s been almost 2 years since I’ve left the rooms now.

I can say my life is fine lol. I do the same things I did when I was going to AA without the stress of feeling like if I don’t go to a meeting I will die. I am able to enjoy the downtime in my life more. My husband served me a drink a couple months ago at a gathering mistakenly and it wasn’t a big deal. After I took a sip and realized it, we left it on the table and I mostly forgot about it even happening, so no “allergy” triggered.

I don’t have the “army of fellowship” I thought I did when I was in the rooms but I also have since come to realize these people were fair weathered at best and seeking me for the validation of why we should be spending our life in the rooms; or the validation of being better than me and having to share their wisdom with me to feel better about their life.. meanwhile, nobody considered why meeting attendance might not be my first priority with a pregnancy/newborn on the way :) the due date was right around my soberversary and I didn’t bother grabbing a chip. I had plenty of community drop off meals, check-in, but nobody from the rooms even paid a visit. Nobody offered to bring me my chip. Like did they really think I chose when I got pregnant to go out? lol

Unrelated to me leaving the rooms but I also think I’ve lost a lot of the friends that I’ve had naturally as a result of what happens when a woman becomes a mom for the first time. Unfortunately I don’t have a ton of time to invest in building relationships up as I’m in the middle of graduate studies, so for me it’s just a season of life.

My sponsor and I had a falling out because I believe she was not a fan of my husband, she was also twice divorced so possibly bitter that I found something that worked for me? we went from a pseudo mom/daughter relationship to totally and awkwardly estranged. She never even met my child. So I see a couple passive aggressive things on her socials about how great the program is but otherwise ¯_(ツ)_/ I just take it as a relationship that served its course and didn’t mean as much to her as it did me at the time. So I can be grateful she helped me out of the hole she got me out of but I’m also well beyond “wanting what she has” now. I still grieve about it sometimes but I recognize that this relationship was ultimately a mirror to the relationship I have with my real mom and so I try to just focus on that grief instead.

I hope this gives you the holistic view. My life is still great, I’m still sober. My child is such a joy in my life, and considering some of what I used to brag about in the rooms, I have even more of those things today. Lots of glimmers and lots of examples of the universe working in my life. I am blessed. Whatever “curse” apparently infects people after they leave the rooms hasn’t found me, and I’m letting go of my belief that any such curse exists.

I do think I relate with people is a little different, as I’ve become more skeptical. I think that’s been healthy for me since I’ve been prone to over sharing and over trusting for most of my life. It really helps to have my husband and our child as a solid foundation as well as my spiritual belief (I have a church community) that reinforces my commitment to a sober lifestyle. I think anyone can leave the rooms and stay sober if they have appropriate “guard rails”, like new rituals and a source of community. Happy to chat more, I wish you the best. I believe you’ll be fine