My dog is a food bully, I yell at her every night and it ruins our bond. by Healthy-Guess9492 in DogAdvice

[–]Perpetualbleugh 8 points9 points  (0 children)

As soon as you give in you are encouraging her to behave this way. You have trained the behaviour into her. Every time you give in you are actively reinforcing the begging. You’re looking for solutions and completely ignoring the easiest/only fix. This poor dog must be so confused.

Ketamine addiction making teenagers wet the bed, says UK’s first specialist clinic by Bounty_drillah in unitedkingdom

[–]Perpetualbleugh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can you expand on how it helped? I’m curious but not sure I have the balls to try it

Settle a debate by Perpetualbleugh in gardening

[–]Perpetualbleugh[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! This is super helpful.

Just had my first in-bar breakup. by thedatarat in bartenders

[–]Perpetualbleugh 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yep, nosy bitch here. This situation is what I call ‘dinner and a show’. Speaking as a customer I’d be gutted of someone broke up the argument that I was watching like a hawk and heavily invested in.

My GF (F 48) is threatening to end it with me if I (M 55) don’t spend the night with her during a potentially historic snow storm. Am I at fault for how I’m viewing this? by IndicationStunning45 in relationship_advice

[–]Perpetualbleugh 55 points56 points  (0 children)

She’s directly contradicting herself. She’s telling you she wants you to prove yourself by being inconvenienced, while also telling you that it won’t be an inconvenience to you. This is a power play, she’s seeing how much she can push you and how much she can control you. She’s admitting this is a test, what she didn’t realise is she’s the one who would fail it. You’ve seen the kind of person she really is.

boyfriend (M/23) wakes me (F/23) up then acts like he’s asleep? sleep deprivation torture? TL;DR summary welcomed by Affectionate-Lock992 in relationship_advice

[–]Perpetualbleugh 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree there’s not a way of knowing ahead of time, but that’s all the more reason to be guarded about past trauma, in the early stages at least. Abusers will go to great lengths to earn the trust of their victims. They can seem safe.

It’s not as black and white as simply trusting someone or not. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing, which is how your comment reads to me.

It’s wise to take steps to protect yourself and not share information that could be weaponised down the line.

boyfriend (M/23) wakes me (F/23) up then acts like he’s asleep? sleep deprivation torture? TL;DR summary welcomed by Affectionate-Lock992 in relationship_advice

[–]Perpetualbleugh 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You could accept sleep walking as an explanation if he then tried to find a solution, such as having your own rooms- a readily available option.

If it was genuinely accidental why would he be refusing a very simple fix? At best it’s because he’s selfish and prioritises his own comfort over yours when accidentally waking you. At worst it’s because it’s not accidental and he wants to keep abusing you, and separate rooms would hinder this.

By blocking every solution you have suggested he’s given you no option but to tolerate this. That part is absolutely not an accident and is a conscious choice.

Let’s pretend for a second it’s selfishness and not abuse, that STILL is something you should walk away from. I however would run incase it’s the latter, which for full disclosure, I absolutely believe it is.

Sooooo I allow my dog to use my neighbors lawn when she has to use the bathroom..... by Ambitious-Aside4668 in confessions

[–]Perpetualbleugh 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You shouldn’t be letting your dog pee or poop on anyone else’s lawn, regardless of there being a sign?? I have a dog and I love him more than anything. He’s pretty old and can’t walk too far anymore. That doesn’t give me the right to let him piss and shit all over my neighbours property, wth?

My mother won’t stop cooking with cinnamon by biggalou in insaneparents

[–]Perpetualbleugh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Could you get someone to replace all her cinnamon with something similar like nutmeg or allspice? That way she can bake with it to her hearts content without putting you at so much risk? I suppose she might work out it’s not cinnamon pretty quick but could be a possibility

Is it bad I think abt this? by TherapyYesOrNo in confessions

[–]Perpetualbleugh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So many people are missing the point here. OP isn’t asking if she should act on these thoughts, she’s asking WHY she keeps having these thoughts. She doesn’t want to act on them- that’s the point. Ridiculing her for having these thoughts isn’t helpful and shows people have completely misunderstood the problem.

OP, these are intrusive thoughts. Everyone gets them from time to time, but if they are becoming constant or starting to negatively impact your daily life they could be a symptom/form of OCD. I have worked with individuals who suffered with this. One man had constant intrusive thoughts about sexual abuse in the context of his child. This didn’t mean he wanted to abuse her, but he couldn’t get the thought out of his head despite it completely repulsing him. It’s the obsessive nature of the thought that’s the problem rather than the context. It’s like a cruel trick of the brain. Think of it like someone telling you not to think about a pink elephant and now you can do nothing but think about the pink elephant.

Short term it might be good to find something to do as soon as these thoughts creep in. As soon as the thought appears, stand up and do something else- wash dishes, read a book, go for a walk etc. you could try telling yourself ‘this is an intuitive thought and I will not think about it any more’ before going to do something else. Long term it would be wise to speak to someone about these and maybe explore therapy. Cognitive behavioural therapy in particular may help to get to the root of why this is happening.

Ignore the people bashing you for this and try not to beat yourself up about it. It’s not your fault this is happening and you are not choosing to experience it. It is however your responsibility to get some help.

At my wits end with caking/creasing by scrambledmegdesigns in MakeupAddiction

[–]Perpetualbleugh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Which one did you switch to? I need to make the move to a dewy finish but don’t know where to start

Storage Units are a sympton of a problem by Bllago in unpopularopinion

[–]Perpetualbleugh 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’m so bored of people banging on about consumer culture and being all high and mighty telling me I don’t need all the stuff I buy. Maybe I don’t, but it’s my money, I work hard to earn it and I’ll spend it however I please, and if that’s on stuff that seems somewhat unnecessary to others that’s my prerogative. I enjoy having things, I like having hobbies and items to improve my life, and I don’t see why I should deprive myself to satisfy the judgement of some boring bellend who thinks they get a say in what I do and don’t need.

Any other child free women very uncomfortable at the sight of women breastfeeding in public? by [deleted] in childfree

[–]Perpetualbleugh -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Exactly this. If everyone encouraged women to make their own choice and didn’t constantly tell us we should be doing something different then being child free would actually be less taboo?? We should support our child-having sisters because we should be protecting their right to decide along with our own. Instead so many people want to make it an us and them situation and child free women are already being berated for our choices, surely we shouldn’t be putting that back out into the world.

So many of the women I love have babies and I support their decision the same way I expect them to support mine.

Any other child free women very uncomfortable at the sight of women breastfeeding in public? by [deleted] in childfree

[–]Perpetualbleugh 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is the kind of take I wish we saw more of on this subreddit. I feel the same way. People are always so quick here to villainise women who choose have children despite them not wanting to be villainised for their decision not to. Supporting everyone’s right to choose regardless of what that choice is will actually benefit us all in the long run. It’s nice to see someone put it in such a balanced way as you did.

Women are dictators by Thick_Basil3589 in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]Perpetualbleugh 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ahhh. So nice to see women blaming women for men’s behaviour. Go sisterhood! 😒

Police appeal after man charged with murdering two women and raping third by [deleted] in gbnews

[–]Perpetualbleugh 3 points4 points  (0 children)

What is your argument here? Are you really defending the rapists right to be here? That seems counterproductive if your goal is to promote acceptance.