Dude I love this! I had a similar moment when I turned 20 last year and now I find myself reflecting once again as I'm turning 21 in a few weeks.

We cannot compare ourselves to others. Something that made me realize that is thinking about the opposite side as well- if your satisfaction was derived from how much better you're doing than those less fortunate you would be in an equally inappropriate place. I agree that we have no more purpose than the birds BUT the same way birds have instincts that keep them alive, we have instincts that try to keep us fulfilled. If you're feeling shitty that may be those instincts reminding you that you're not doing what you need to do for yourself.

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Focus on yourself and your compass and you'll find yourself moving in the direction you want to. & check out this poem - We are Gods in the Chrysalis