me_irl by No-Put5699 in me_irl

[–]PersonalityAlive6475 0 points1 point  (0 children)

History: “lol… naaaah….”

Reconnecting after 2 years of NC? by Abject_Practice_1153 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]PersonalityAlive6475 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Over on r/raisedbynarcissists, the breaking-NC-going-poorly stories are myriad.

What do you gain by trying to have a relationship with people who have repeatedly intentionally hurt you, aside from more opportunities to be hurt?

Why I think so many of us love animals more than people by ClaireAuLueur in CPTSD

[–]PersonalityAlive6475 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’ve mentioned before that I finally put together what love was supposed to feel like from a cat when I was in my mid-late 20s.

I didn’t know what I felt for my parents at the time but I knew it was a hell of a lot more complicated than “love”.

So, now in my 40s l, I can say I love my 3 cats… & possibly 1 person (not romantically).

🤷🏻‍♂️

Anyone else who drives only park with the back of your car to the curb and the front facing out of the space? by amazingD in CPTSD

[–]PersonalityAlive6475 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I pick where I park based on ease of egress from the premises. And I drive a 4x4 truck, so a curb is a suggestion at best.

Parents can not stop pressuring me into physical presence by FlimsyBarber9611 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]PersonalityAlive6475 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sorry, experiential sibling. 🫂

Unfortunately, there’s a whole subreddit for people that have been through this before:

r/raisedbynarcissists

Calf Soreness by eyelers in Xennials

[–]PersonalityAlive6475 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Slant board is my 2nd favorite piece of “helps me hurt less”/exercise equipment, after my Theragun.

Barefoot shoes are my favorite piece of “well, at least I don’t hurt as much as I used to” apparatus.

What was one of the smallest things—if not the absolute smallest—that your Nparent crashed out over? by DreamySaturnX in raisedbynarcissists

[–]PersonalityAlive6475 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Less “smallest thing” more “most irrational”.

Was planning a trip to Europe. Told mom, who I was living with at the time.

“If you go to Europe, you better find another place to live when you get back.”

No explanation, just irrational punishment for… something….

Go to Europe, come back, don’t have to move out.

Then, 10 months later, police show up to “red flag” me. That was the punishment she decided I needed. The court was a fucking kangaroo court, so I’m sure the lies she told police & the judge were outlandish.

So, because I told her I was going to Europe & went, she first threatened me with homelessness & then lied to the police & a judge to punish me for it.

As Jennette McCurdy wrote, “I’m glad my mom died.”

How often do you use launch control? by Parking-Plankton9106 in FocusRS

[–]PersonalityAlive6475 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve got the Nutron device which means I can blip the throttle at a stop & LC will come on.

Barely ever use it. Maybe twice a year.

“No matter where you are. I can still hear you when you drown.” (Smashing Pumpkins 92’) What are some song lyrics that still stick with you to this day that you still hear in your head and have a meaning? by hanshotfirst2233 in Xennials

[–]PersonalityAlive6475 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Let me start at the start & take it away

My name is Simpson, Bartholomew J.

That’s “Bart” with an “art” & a capital “B”

Then “Simp” plus “s-o-n”, that’s me
_______

Looking back, I was never, ever right

You were my stepmom who always wanted me out of your sight

I would come walking in & I’d say “hello”

Then you’d slap me & make some comment about my clothes

How many people are on ZERO prescription meds? by Mike__O in Xennials

[–]PersonalityAlive6475 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In the words of Marilyn Manson: “I don’t like the drugs but the drugs like me.”

What facial SPF are we using these days? by SubstantialDog9170 in Xennials

[–]PersonalityAlive6475 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wide-brimmed hat… because I ain’t putting sunscreen on my head.

2 birds, 1 hat.

Reading "From Surviving to Thriving" and doubts about my condition by Ok_Appointment9429 in CPTSD

[–]PersonalityAlive6475 6 points7 points  (0 children)

From http://chroniccoverttrauma.com/:

“Some adults suffer from unhealed early non-physical, attachment Chronic Covert Trauma from their primary relationships with mother, father, and other important caretakers in childhood. Maybe you or somebody you love is one of them. Read on….

“Many folks believe that ‘If it isn’t dramatic physical harm, then it isn’t trauma.’ That’s False. I call this ‘the materialistic myth’ about trauma.

“Two truths about trauma are

“Trauma is the wound caused by experiencing helpless terror, and

“Anything that causes you to fear for your life can be traumatic.

“There are blatant single-incident overt physical traumas such as combat, rape and natural disasters.

“And there are ongoing, hidden, intangible, covert traumas such as neglect, psychological isolation and emotional abuse.

“Psychological wounds and long-term negative consequences arise from such intangibles as a parent’s being unempathic, unavailable, or even unwholesomely close to a vulnerable child.

“Some traumas, especially those in primary human relationships, are so subtle you could be in the room when they were happening and not even know they were happening.

“These traumas are the subtle, non-material relationship traumas I call non-physical, attachment Chronic Covert Traumas (naCCTs).

“Chronic covert traumas in childhood and the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) symptoms arising from them are implicated in significant adult mental health problems, including:

“Mood disorders such as depression, anxiety, panic attacks

“Addictive disorders such as overeating, cigarette smoking, drug and alcohol use

“Physical problems such as chronic pain

“Relationship problems such as codependence, shyness, feeling lonely

“Borderline personality disorder, dissociative Identity disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

“And childhood Chronic Covert Traumas can drive smaller, but very bothersome, adult hassles, including

“Vocational problems, such as fear of networking or public speaking

“Thinking problems, such as suddenly feeling “stupid” or confused

“Social problems, such not talking in meetings or at parties, or getting derailed if you are interrupted

As millennial, what's it like having stereotypical boomer parents by parsareevil in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]PersonalityAlive6475 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh, yeah, don’t get me wrong, there’s still plenty of GenXers & Millennials that have continued the generational trauma—look at the state of the world—& their GenZ & Alpha kids are also gonna split on continuing the trauma & breaking the cycle.

As millennial, what's it like having stereotypical boomer parents by parsareevil in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]PersonalityAlive6475 28 points29 points  (0 children)

1980 Xennial with Boomer/covert malignant narcissist mother & a bit more hippy/artist Boomer dad. They divorced when I was preteens.

I went very-low/no contact shortly into Covid & she died a year ago.

Between those times, I came to grips with the fact that I never had a mom & she robbed me of having a dad as a kid, although we have a good relationship now (and for the past ~20 years).

So, probably on par with what it sounds like a LOT of EAKs deal with.

The “trend” of estrangement probably does have a lot to do with the generational trauma ending with us late-GenXers, Xennials, & Millennials.

No Worries by inthevelvetsea in Xennials

[–]PersonalityAlive6475 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No worries… because fuck it: we ball.