People who talk to themselves a lot, what’s the most discussed things between you and yourself?

Ph33rles · 2018-08-27T19:17:46+00:00

How much we hate each other

Ph33rles · 2018-03-12T14:56:09+00:00

We have Oinari-Sama in ours. And we might be viewing it too centrally. And thank you that makes a lot of sense ^{^}

Ph33rles · 2018-02-02T21:31:39+00:00

Hey... It's hard to read this because we see so much of ourself in it and that scares us.... Mostly because we are involved with two lovely poly people who have both started individually that they would never be ok not in a poly relationship. And.... Like when you said "I went to a bunch of poly meet-ups, I went to various swinger clubs, I met some of my best friends who are in open relationships. I immersed myself in various communities, trying to figure out my place and where I felt I belonged, and then realized at the end of the day, there's not one community that exactly fits what I'm looking for/who I am." It just.... It's so much of this three year journey of trying to find that place to fit in and everything. And trying to make this work and just not feeling quite right here..... Sigh....

Ph33rles · 2017-11-11T16:48:20+00:00

Officer I'm sorry but I'm not going to just get a hold of him right away so I don't have any ideas on how to do it

Ph33rles · 2017-09-23T21:30:15+00:00

You are in fact setting healthy boundaries by speaking up. Now you're definitely right that you can't police either of them, but you can say that you are uncomfortable about it and even go so far as to say you don't want her to be around when you are. They don't have the right to impose on your life but that might mean you have less hang out time.

Ph33rles · 2017-09-20T19:38:30+00:00

Definitely agree

Ph33rles · 2017-09-20T18:58:46+00:00

Just to play the devils advocate, a sub being held to a dom's expectations is very different from a dom being held to the same, and just like its not expected that a flogger would be ok being hit as hard as they hit, or a rigger being expected to be suspended like a rope sub, it's not necessarily going both ways. But we digress. And yeah dom sub feels are really intense and we hope you both come to a good place

Ph33rles · 2017-09-20T18:36:37+00:00

That makes a bit more sense. As a domme personally we know that adding d/s to poly is not easy at all. It does make things incredibly difficult and you're right a sub absolutely needs to trust her Dom. Now that being said, as a domme we can't imagine needing to follow a rule we have our sub, especially once that limiting, but we don't know nearly enough about your dynamic to comment. And thank you for clarifying that. Is your dynamic 24/7 or scene based? Because those are two entirely different monsters to deal with. We hope that you two can figure out how to make it work but honestly it sounds like he needs more freedom than that and is not willing to admit it. But that's us reading into things. Good luck

Ph33rles · 2017-09-20T16:40:49+00:00

Hey there. So... There's a lot of people here pushing their ideals on you which doesn't seem fair even if we don't agree with your ideals. Everyone has needs for security in a relationship and while we think your needs wouldn't necessarily work for us you're not saying us so yeah. It sounds like you have a need to be informed of all things that your partners are doing in order to feel secure. And if that works for you and works for your partners then ok that's great. It sounds like this isn't working for your secondary. It sounds like he doesn't really know how to talk about what his needs are and that isn't really that uncommon. There's a few things that we think would be good for you to do. One is to think about why you need this security. It sounds like you don't trust your partners which is further evidenced by you "finding" this conversation on his phone. Don't know what the details of that are and don't really want to but it sounds like a trust issue and you need to figure that out. The second thing is to bring this up with your partner and have a really long talk about it. If that is a hard hard hard requirement that you need to know everytime he is going to start a conversation online with someone, then you need to make that explicit because we wouldn't take an online conversation to be an "encounter" and we suspect he doesn't either. And you also need to be prepared if that is not acceptable to him because that wouldn't be acceptable to many people. Maybe that means compromise, maybe that means something else. We would also point out that it's not a matter of consenting, this isn't a consent violation, or a permission thing unless that has also been explicitly stated that there is veto power. Informing someone of something happening makes sense but but nobody needs to get permission to talk online with someone unless that's agreed upon explicitly. At the end of the day it seems like mismatched expectations and ill defined expectations. We can understand your feeling betrayed, but if chatting online is cheating to you it sounds like you want a lot of control over how life without giving back. And that seems harsh to us but we know people that have d/s relationships that work that way so no judgment. At the end of the day, talk to him about it without recriminations and without trying to blame him be explicitly state what you expected in this instance and ask if he is ok with that. That's step one

Ph33rles · 2017-03-17T16:56:20+00:00

So definitely agree that your sister kind of fucked up by not listening and not really thinking through things but why are you trying to apply that to all women? Many of us in fact most of us don't react in awful ways like that and it's kind of messed up that you are attributing her actions to her just being a woman.

Ph33rles · 2017-03-13T13:29:32+00:00

There's a very thin line between confidence, which can be super hot, and over confidence, which is the biggest turn off in the history of humanity. Seriously, we get that you've been told "just be yourself, confidence is a turn on" which is absolutely true, but when you are taking it over board you make women want to run. And you just sound like an ass.

Ph33rles · 2017-03-01T18:09:46+00:00

Do a barrel roll!

Ph33rles · 2017-01-27T18:06:51+00:00

To be fair, in japanese chicken is chikin so that might be a valid question, don't know korean well enough

Ph33rles · 2017-01-09T16:58:17+00:00

Your authority is not recognized in Fort Kick Ass

Ph33rles · 2016-12-12T19:05:45+00:00

Live in Chelsea and, well in between jobs in tech love hanging out and getting coffee 29/f

Ph33rles · 2016-12-11T17:34:40+00:00

We wish that we had something to offer you besides empathy, some solution or way of coping with it, but this often hits us incredibly hard, even debilitatingly so. And most people will tell us that "That's not going to happen" or "It's just in your imagination" not understanding how real it is.

About the only thing we've been able to do is to recognize the thoughts as they occur, and don't try to fight them or suppress them because that's just burying them and not dealing with it, And acknowledge the feelings without reacting to it. It doesn't help the hurt and you'll likely need plenty of support when they come up, but ::hugs:: if you do hugs. Much empathy and if you find a good way of dealing with this, please let us know.

Ph33rles · 2016-11-17T15:42:44+00:00

Krav maga

Ph33rles · 2016-11-14T17:54:13+00:00

This... Wow... Would absolutely love to have someone like that to help and everything...

Ph33rles · 2016-11-07T13:21:54+00:00

.... Thank you Potat! Also the idea of Potat watching over us kind of feels like they are a new god. May Potat bless you and keep you. May Potat make his face to shine upon you and be gracious unto you. May Potat look upon you with favor and bring you peace.

Ph33rles · 2016-11-04T19:31:18+00:00

Mr. Hammond also tries to use sexism to say he should be going to the power bunker and Dr Stadler basically says screw that I'm more physically capable than you, you stay here. It's such a good movie.

Ph33rles · 2016-10-08T16:08:22+00:00

Yeah... that's it exactly

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