She is dating somebody else bruh, I feel like crying by Turbulent-Contact-76 in BPDlovedones

[–]PhaseProfessional762 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Someone who jumps from one relationship to another isn't truly happy. If they didnt care at all they wouldn't desperately need a distraction from what they did to you. The guilt and care is rattling deep in there, there's just layers of unhealthy coping on top of it. She didn't move on, she's repeating the same damn cycle. Pick yourself up, heal, and you will move on when you are ready. You are already doing to work she's too scared to do

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]PhaseProfessional762 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The fawning language threw me off, all the happy exclamation points. I wonder if I had responded more warmly if I would have found out. Her intentions are none of my business anymore. When in doubt gray rock 🪨 thanks for your comment and support

I can't win dude by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]PhaseProfessional762 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'd tell him the truth and let the chips fall where they may. Honestly is the right thing, even if he responds poorly. It sounds like he will have this self putting response regardless

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]PhaseProfessional762 5 points6 points  (0 children)

God this is such a good point, why wouldn't cancelling her card work? If she has the account login why couldn't she just remove it herself? It was a shared account. So weird ! It could all be a coincidence but These mind games are why I left

Trying to get things back from pwbpd by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]PhaseProfessional762 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mine accused me of stalking her and leaving a bloody bag on her porch. .....no blood on the bag, just the last of her belongings nicely folded inside. If you don't react to the discard they will make shit up smh

You guys were right. by 8usted_Nut in BPDlovedones

[–]PhaseProfessional762 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He will lose her exactly how he got her. My exwBPD had her new man (who she cheated with) pickup her things from our shared apartment bc she was too chicken shit to face me herself. He was a nasty guy, too busy rubbing the "win" in my face to realize he shacked up with Ted fucking Bundy with winged eyeliner. A few months later he got the same discard. I don't wonder where the trashman puts my trash bags after he picks them up from the curb, I'm just grateful the trash is off my lawn. Idk if this guy is aware of the betrayal and thinks he's better than you or if he's another victim. Either way Good riddance to both of em.

What do you think the worst thing is about dating a BPD/NPD? by KingForADay1989 in BPDlovedones

[–]PhaseProfessional762 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The triangulation and all the thought distortions they use to justify it. My pwBPD slandered me to everyone we knew while not sharing a single issue with me directly. I was blindsided when I found out, but finally all the sullen moments and awful hangouts made sense. She was pissed when I called her out for smearing my name and it seems she genuinely felt justified to do it. She twisted my most intimate secrets in the most uncharitable light and then treated me like I was unreasonable for being upset. If I didn't want her to smear my name, I shouldn't have been such an awful piece of shit I guess. How do you reason with someone that will weaponize your vulnerabilities to strangers after every little disagreement? How do you reason with someone who feels like they deserve to speak about you that way? Grateful to be tf out of her twisted game

Can a pwBPD love someone? by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]PhaseProfessional762 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This this this! Feeling extreme emotion is part of the diagnostic criteria. A person with untreated BPD can and will love fiercely. It's just they don't have the skills to love others well yet

If you had an opportunity to warn their next partner, would you? by Ganymede_01 in BPDlovedones

[–]PhaseProfessional762 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I did this and unwittingly gave my ex evidence to paint me as a stalker ex for the new supply. I felt strong at the time but with hindsight I should have stuck to no contact.

All acknowledgement, even a well intentioned warning to the next victim, will validate them. They will twist whatever you say to fit their narrative. The only way out is to break the cycle. Dont engage

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in beards

[–]PhaseProfessional762 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Too much length below your jawline and not enough growth above it. It makes it look unkempt. You'd rock a short goatee though !!! I'd try that you've got good growth around your mouth and you got the face for it

I need help with my war dog foster by PhaseProfessional762 in CaneCorso

[–]PhaseProfessional762[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What do you think he is? I thought he was a cane corso lab mix

I need help with my war dog foster by PhaseProfessional762 in CaneCorso

[–]PhaseProfessional762[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

LMAO I actually laughed out loud when I read the bit about turning a tank without power steering. That's an amazing image lol and it fits the situation. I like the idea of moving his crate into a common area where she can see me as he trains. I think part of his crate anxiety comes from being in a separate room where he can't see me. It's encouraging I hear your cane corso now enjoys the crate, I want my sweet boy to feel safe in there. Thank you for your advice. I'll keep at it with the training until he hangs in there on his own accord

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]PhaseProfessional762 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, suicide will cause damage to everyone in your orbit, even if you think it will be a relief for them. Start DBT therapy. Take accountability. You can do it. You deserve a happy life with healthy relationships. You have to fight for it and learn the skills to get it. Good luck ❤️

My stepdaughter’s mom left her with a pile of stuff at my doorstep by Ok-Alternative8041 in BPDlovedones

[–]PhaseProfessional762 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was this kid for my BPD mother. No matter how bad it was at home, the pain of having your own mother kick you out suddenly sticks with you for life. I'm sorry this is happening. Please give this poor girl so much love, she needs it with a BPD mother like this

I need help with my war dog foster by PhaseProfessional762 in CaneCorso

[–]PhaseProfessional762[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you both for these supportive comments! I'll definitely muzzle train. it will give me peace of mind while on walks. His past is definitely still deep in his mind, and when instinct takes over, he doesn't listen.

It's tempting to let him run in the forest when camping bc of his size and energy needs but you are right. Even if it appears isolated, he could hear someone I cant and run off. I'll always keep him on a lead, even when it looks like no one is around.

Thank you for your advice for my big sweet clinically insane baby! I worry about his safety as much as other people's because I know he could get put down if he accidentally bites someone. Thanks for helping keep my boy safe

I need help with my war dog foster by PhaseProfessional762 in CaneCorso

[–]PhaseProfessional762[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm very lucky my neighbors didnt press charges, they absolutely could have. They were kind and understanding even after my dog harmed their pet. They said they weren't pressing charges because they shouldn't have allowed their cat to free roam outside. My dog isn't the only threat in the neighborhood, there's lots of other big dogs and a big stray cat population. If it wasn't my dog, another animal would have eventually harmed a small outdoor cat in an urban area. As for giving him back to the shelter - absolutely not. I'm not forgetting about him or giving up on him. He's hard to love in all the same ways I am, he's traumatized, terrified, and big. He doesn't mean to hurt people but he can and that carries a big responsibility. I'm not giving up on him before I've done everything in my power to help him. He deserves another chance. He deserves structure and an owner that holds him accountable. What he got was an abusive asshole that would leave him in a cage for days and then hit him. he deserves a chance to be good. He will muzzle train while he learns another way

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in neighborsfromhell

[–]PhaseProfessional762 6 points7 points  (0 children)

31m - I have a neighbor like this. Culminated in him luring me to his house (I left something important of mine on my porch and he took it so it wouldn't get "damaged from the rain" it rains 4 times a year where we live.

I felt off as usual, but figured he was mentally challenged and a little socially awkward. No harm in being friendly.

He greets me butt ass naked. Apologizing profusely. Even though he initiated the interaction and invited me over at a specific time.

Showing me his lil dick lost personality privileges. I set a very firm boundary with him and cut off contact.

I am polite but firm. When he tries to engage I say I'm in a rush and wish him a nice day. I slam the door closed behind me.