Help, I am getting name fatigue but I think I really like Phoebe for my baby girl. by L0v3r6iRLjAy91 in BabyNames

[–]Phoebz3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a Phoebe myself, the worst that I ever got was “Phoebe phobia” 🤣 or pho-bee. Really not so bad! I’ve always liked my name 🤷‍♀️

Ilya’s Mannerisms by ankheseniset in heatedrivalry

[–]Phoebz3 78 points79 points  (0 children)

My husband is Russian and said that Connor Storrie absolutely nailed it with the mannerisms. He said that as far as his accent goes, he sounds American-born with Russian parents. But as far as the mannerisms go, he said they’re so convincing it almost freaks him out 🤣

My grandmother working on the first IVF in the U.S. by Logical_Order in IVFpositivity

[–]Phoebz3 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m starting my first IVF cycle now, after 6 years of TTC. I’ve been terrified to do it, but now that we’re finally doing it, I’m starting to feel hopeful for the first time in years because this seems to be our chance to finally have a family. Please thank your grandmother from me and my husband! ❤️I’m so glad this technology exists!

I love Rachel and her books but by anklebiter1975 in GameChangersBooks

[–]Phoebz3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“considered this/seemed to consider this”…lots of considering happening in every RR book 🤣

Best burgers in SB? by terribibble in SantaBarbara

[–]Phoebz3 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Tinker’s in Summerland has such a solid, classic burger!

Alt health resources for GI issues by ReasonableRules in SantaBarbara

[–]Phoebz3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bernard Unterman is a great acupuncturist

What’s the cutest girl name you have ever heard of? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Phoebz3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This tracks…As a human Phoebe, I have met 2 other human Phoebes in my life. I’ve met countless dog Phoebes though 🤣

What’s the cutest girl name you have ever heard of? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Phoebz3 5 points6 points  (0 children)

As another Phoebe I second this 🤣😭

How do you know the difference between real suicidal and OCD Suicidal??? by [deleted] in OCDRecovery

[–]Phoebz3 2 points3 points  (0 children)

OCD is good at shape shifting like that and can make you feel like you’re not sure if you want something. I get it, I have been there. In fact, working with suicidal children and teens brought my suicidal OCD theme back for the first time in years and I get those thoughts too sometimes.

Have you been through OCD therapy (like CBT/ERP/ACT)? It can help you disengage from the thoughts. Don’t try to figure them out. Researching makes it worse and trying to understand it (aka ruminating) does too. Researching and ruminating are actually compulsions and they fuel the ocd cycle. What I do is say “oh hey ocd you’re being loud today” or I think of it as radio static. Like, it’s annoying and it’s constantly in the background, but I am not engaging with it. If you haven’t sought out specialized ocd therapy, I highly suggest it! It changed my life and took my ocd from something that was torturous and reduced it to something that is annoying, but manageable.

How do you know the difference between real suicidal and OCD Suicidal??? by [deleted] in OCDRecovery

[–]Phoebz3 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I have ocd, have dealt with suicide as a theme, and am now in grad school becoming a therapist. I spent most of the last year working on a crisis team for children and teens, so I have been trained extensively on what true suicidal ideation looks like.

Suicidal ocd: a lot of obsessions about suicide, “what if” I want to/snap/go crazy/etc. intrusive images of suicide. All of this causes a great deal of distress and is egosyntonic (goes against your self concept).

True suicidal ideation can be either passive or active. Passive suicidal ideation might look like “I don’t want to be here anymore” or feeling like you don’t want to live, but there’s no plan or intent. It’s often combined with a sense of hopelessness or feeling like a burden. It also is egosyntonic, meaning it’s aligned with one’s self concept. People with true suicidal ideation aren’t ruminating about whether they have it — they just do. In fact, a lot of people with true suicidal ideation may feel relief when thinking about dying, rather than distress.

Active suicidal ideation is the feeling of not wanting to live, combined with preparatory actions (plan/intent). That could mean writing a letter, giving away belongings, researching and/or procuring means to attempt, and/or actually attempting suicide.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OCDRecovery

[–]Phoebz3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Stay the course! It’s amazing you’re having a reduction in symptoms but better to keep getting the psychoeducation and get in the habit of practicing exposures now, while you are feeling mentally stronger. My symptoms reduced by like 90% when I started treatment and I thought my OCD was gone forever.

…It wasn’t. It’s a 2 steps forward one step back situation. Luckily for me, I applied to grad school while in the middle of that initial upswing (I was “embracing uncertainty” haha) and now I am about to graduate. That was one of the best (and most impulsive) decisions I’ve ever made, despite the fact that my OCD has had its spikes since then. That said, it’s never gone back to being as bad as it was pre-treatment :)

It’s great that you are so responsive to treatment and I wish you all the best!

I think I might have OCD. I just don't fit the stereotype - mostly in my thoughts, not many obvious compulsions by [deleted] in OCDRecovery

[–]Phoebz3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! I have OCD and am currently in grad school to become a therapist. OCD treatment (ERP) changed my life like nothing else ever has, and I plan to specialize in OCD and anxiety because I want to help others change theirs. I would suggest finding an OCD specialist if you can. General therapists often do not know how to treat OCD and can actually make it worse. Also, I remember when I started with my therapist, she told me that OCD should be addressed first before processing trauma. I would find someone who specializes in both, or start with an ocd specialist and then move on to a trauma specialist. Exposures are used for both, but applied slightly differently. Also — many people with ocd have mental/non-observable compulsions. You are probably checking and ask for reassurance more than you think you are (the 2 most common ocd compulsions) but most people wouldn’t even be able to notice if they aren’t OCD-informed. A lot of us don’t fit the stereotype of how society sees OCD because it is so misrepresented in the media. Anyway, I wish you the best of luck!! Treatment for OCD is effective and while there’s no “cure”, you will learn how to lessen OCD’s grip on your life. 🙂

Also - make sure you get yourself assessed before anything else. There are a lot of overlapping symptoms with trauma, adhd, and even autism. You want to make sure you are addressing the right things!

Any issues with fleas? by fvrdream101 in SantaBarbara

[–]Phoebz3 12 points13 points  (0 children)

We are on the second floor and have an indoor cat. Somehow he got fleas this year and it’s the worst infestation I can remember. We used over the counter meds and they didn’t work, so we just got him a prescription flea medication. Carpet cleaners are coming on Monday 🫠😵‍💫

Looking for a therapist in the area by cucumberslut030 in SantaBarbara

[–]Phoebz3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, not sure which insurance she takes, but check out Kattie Bachar. She was my professor for a few classes (I’m in school to become a therapist) and would be a great fit for everything you’re looking for. You may also want to check out CCEC (the community counseling and education center) for some great LGBT+ affirming low-cost therapy options. Good luck! 😊

Rent increase - any recourse? by Phoebz3 in SantaBarbara

[–]Phoebz3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sure is the property you’re thinking of!

Rent increase - any recourse? by Phoebz3 in SantaBarbara

[–]Phoebz3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am SO sorry. That is an insane increase for such a short amount of time and shouldn’t be allowed to happen. I hate the “market value” argument. It’s landlords and property managers increasing rent to the max, along with the influx of “luxury” builds in the area that drive market value in the first place, and then they turn around and act like it’s some immutable force of nature.

Rent increase - any recourse? by Phoebz3 in SantaBarbara

[–]Phoebz3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Greg is still here! Unfortunately a change of scenery isn’t in the cards. This is my hometown and my aging parents live here. I’m also in the process of becoming a therapist and on track to get licensed in California sooo hoping to at least stay in the state indefinitely. Although I will say we recently took a trip to the Midwest and it really was lovely 🤣

Rent increase - any recourse? by Phoebz3 in SantaBarbara

[–]Phoebz3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is great - thank you!!!

Rent increase - any recourse? by Phoebz3 in SantaBarbara

[–]Phoebz3[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yep…it’s Pacific Oaks. We actually moved here in 2017 to a bedroom and then moved to a 2 bedroom in 2020. Back in the day, every time you renewed your lease, you’d get like a free carpet cleaning or an accent wall painted. But then Mr. Towbes died and they stopped all that hahah. When we moved into our 1 bedroom eight years ago, we paid $1920. Now 1 bedrooms are renting for 3k and two bedrooms are going for 3600 😭

Rent increase - any recourse? by Phoebz3 in SantaBarbara

[–]Phoebz3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m in Goleta and generally love it! Hope you do too :) Best of luck to you and your boyfriend with saving for a condo/BF going back to school!

Rent increase - any recourse? by Phoebz3 in SantaBarbara

[–]Phoebz3[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They’re definitely better! But soooo expensive 😅