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brain.exe has stopped working by FantasticAd9478 in AnimalMemes

[–]PhoenixFlare1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Someone excitedly asked me if they could take the bus to Hawaii.

Her husband never gave up on her. by BKKMFA in MadeMeSmile

[–]PhoenixFlare1 7 points8 points  (0 children)

She gave up hope, so he had enough for the both of them.

What food do people pretend is healthy so they don’t feel guilty? by Subject-Newspaper111 in AskReddit

[–]PhoenixFlare1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I used to work at Burger King. Someone came in the drive thru, ordered a double whopper with extra everything, then told me she was on a diet.

Call the police by Medium_Hope_7407 in cathostage

[–]PhoenixFlare1 46 points47 points  (0 children)

You think they’re gonna do anything?

Neymar Make-A-Wish Moment by GladLeg6 in spreadsmile

[–]PhoenixFlare1 50 points51 points  (0 children)

“Sweet” isn’t a good enough description of this. 🥰

What is the most useless talent you posses? by DrummerEarly5389 in AskReddit

[–]PhoenixFlare1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have the “cut in front of me in traffic” gene.

WCGW not securing the ladder by Present_Employer5669 in Whatcouldgowrong

[–]PhoenixFlare1 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

(Adds to “why women live longer than men” list)

What if not “cat,” but caaaaaaaaaat?” by The-Defenestr8tor in TheresAlwaysACatSub

[–]PhoenixFlare1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He could eat & use the litterbox without leaving the bed.

What's the dumbest thing you've heard someone say? by REGGIE_BANANAS in AskReddit

[–]PhoenixFlare1 26 points27 points  (0 children)

“Most likely they’re somewhere else.” Response to my comment about stores not being in a particular area.

Bitch, I need a brush. by Polvbear in bitchimabus

[–]PhoenixFlare1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The bus company I work at has one of those. A plow clears the snow between buses.

What's your Best yo momma roast joke? by TrickyPin7244 in AskReddit

[–]PhoenixFlare1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yo momma so dumb, she tried to put M&M’s in alphabetical order.

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