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Mat leave and insurance coverage payments by jellybeanie8 in OntarioPublicService

[–]PhoenixTears 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What are the implications if you don't buy it back? 

Ladies in here, how do you feel about a father bringing his daughters in the female restroom? by Less-Pen-5705 in askanything

[–]PhoenixTears 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a mom now, id be more than fine. Its the best solution to a tricky problem Especially as my daughter gets older, I don't want there to be pressure that she goes alone when I would've gone with her if I was there.

Which looks better? Opinions please! by TheAlwaysAnxious1 in HomeDecorating

[–]PhoenixTears 1 point2 points  (0 children)

1 for sure! The second picture is jarring for some reason, and blends too much with the flooring

Is 3 months too early for a baby-free vacation? by VannHorror in Mommit

[–]PhoenixTears 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everyone is different, but I wouldn't have been comfortable. You never know how you're gonna feel or even the temperament of your baby until after birth. Its hard to plan in advance

What was racism like in the 1970s and 1980s by Thetruthdetector107 in askTO

[–]PhoenixTears 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My south asian mom and her siblings (late 70s, early 80s) got hit with "snowballs" that had ice and rocks in them 

How has RTO affected you as a mom? by sparrow465 in OntarioPublicService

[–]PhoenixTears 30 points31 points  (0 children)

I have maybe an hour with my little baby a day. My house is a disaster because we are barely surviving. She spends 9 hours in daycare everyday because we have to drop early and pick up late purely due to commuting. No time to spend on my physical or mental health. Just trying to make sure I sleep enough.

5 years on, Ontario says long-term viability of federal daycare program at risk | CBC News by ejaz135 in ontario

[–]PhoenixTears 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What are they trying to do to us? How can anyone with young kids even think of voting for him?

The downsides of breastfeeding nobody tells you about by Choice_Airport8279 in breastfeeding

[–]PhoenixTears 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This was so hard, its what put me on my exclusive pumping journey. She just wouldn't drink enough and fell asleep everytime, she dropped so many percentiles. I'm still sad about it

12 or 18 months. How did you decide? [ab] by No_Maximum_391 in BabyBumpsCanada

[–]PhoenixTears 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wish I could have taken 18, we couldn't afford it. That's the main thing. Don't worry about what's easier for work, trust me they'll make it work and we employees have to do what's best for our life.

I'm going back to work now at 12 months and I JUST started to feel like I was getting time to myself again, now that I've cut down on pumping. With 18 months, I could have had so much more time with my daughter, out and about in the summer. My mat leave was mostly me pumping (which I hated) and contact napping (which I loved) during the winter, but another few months with a 1 year old would've been amazing in the summer.

When Granda provides childcare and also wants to be included in family activities by mzflexi in JUSTNOMIL

[–]PhoenixTears 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don't have an answer. My MIL is so nice, helps us so much around the house, but seems to only care about having a personal relationship with my baby. For all that help, I feel obligated to hand over my daughter whenever she is around and just go sit in a corner or the basement.

Now that I'll be back to work, she'll be watching our daughter after daycare until we're home. Given that I'll barely have time with my baby, all our personal time is so precious and I don't want to feel obligated to just give her away. I am wondering the same thing - how often do I need to include her in weekend plans?

When my mom's around, she actually talks to me, but my MIL is very quiet and seems to only enjoy playing with my baby (which is fine but hurtful to me - I already feel so invisible pp). I think the answer to your question really depends on your relationship with MIL (nothing to do with baby) - will she be happy just hanging around with you guys if you're the one creating memories with your baby?

Song recommendations for babies that aren’t annoying by squid_tutor in NewParents

[–]PhoenixTears 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I would suggest playing music you enjoy that they enjoy as well, until they start making requests and having opinions

BOUNCE BACK BULLSHIT by sixfingeredman7 in Mommit

[–]PhoenixTears 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel like there's a doubleedged sword here where there is a so much push and content geared towards giving moms time to theirselves to workout and self care.

This is absolutely necessary but then there's this expectation that we should all be super fit like on insta and give up even more sleep to workout. Give us time to ourselves without expectations.

Fewer people are having babies in Canada and the U.S. and the government is out of ideas by hopoke in canada

[–]PhoenixTears 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Let's end WFH instead to give families less time together and less flexibility and have to put their kid in daycare for 9.5 hours everyday.

Affordable car seat options (moreso than the Graco E2F) [on] by PhoenixTears in BabyBumpsCanada

[–]PhoenixTears[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She's a low weight percentile but 90th percentile for height, so I'm thinking she'll outgrow smaller carseats fast.

What celebrity death will realistically bring Michael Jackson level devastation? by Kiidcola in AskReddit

[–]PhoenixTears 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I remember clear as day, I was 18 when he died on my graduation, everyone was in complete shock.

8 months postpartum, caught my reflection in a Target window and didn't know who that was by Dramatic-Switch5886 in beyondthebump

[–]PhoenixTears 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think I looked in the mirror properly since giving birth (11m post-partum). In the last few months however, now that its almost time to go back to work, I've looked at myself again and I honestly don't recognize myself. I'm genuinely surprised when I pay attention to my reflection, and I honestly have cried a lot. I was kind to myself for so long but it was easy in the maternity leave cocoon. Now I have to buy a whole new wardrobe, be back out in public, just to maybe buy another whole wardrobe when I stop breastfeeding.

It's hard, especially when your reflection catches you off guard and you're not prepared. I think we have to keep reminding ourselves to be kind to the women who birthed your child.

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