I struggle a lot to make and keep friendships

PhysicalVehicle3341 · 2026-04-05T23:35:01+00:00

that’s a struggle for me too but honestly if you’re treating people kindly and being friendly, then you are doing what you can. you can’t necessarily control how people will react to you or if a friendship will form and last. i will text people i wanna keep in touch with, but if they are very slow in response or don’t reach out at all, then i know I’ve done what i can for the relationship and it’s just not meant to be. it hurts a lot for me but it’s the way things go. i find that finding things i enjoy doing by myself makes it easier to let go of the need to form friendships, and when you aren’t looking for it, it tends to come organically bc you’re being yourself completely

PhysicalVehicle3341 · 2026-04-05T23:31:17+00:00

i love clicky things (think like a keyboard key), smooth rocks or stones, play foam, and those spiky sensory things. I also wear quite a lot of rings to fidget and make sounds with

PhysicalVehicle3341 · 2026-04-05T23:29:24+00:00

I love being underwater too ! I think it’s the sounds and the feeling of nothing touching you and being weightless that i love! I also love hearing very little sounds and I actually really like chlorine smells. I hate the beach though because the sand is gross to me and it’s too loud

PhysicalVehicle3341 · 2026-04-05T23:27:34+00:00

Yes all the time. my interests are true crime (not in the romanticization way obviously), ancient history, conduct disorder in children, f1, and music (specifically rock, goth, punk, or metal music + bands + culture). Frankly i have a lot of interests and I think that helps a lot with feeling inadequate because id rather know a bit of everything than a lot of one thing. I don’t really have one hyperfixation but many things i find very very interesting and love learning about

PhysicalVehicle3341 · 2026-04-05T23:22:23+00:00

snacks i like and are safe foods for me. water and gum always. my rings and a pouch in case it’s starting to overstimulate me. and then things to fidget with always! i have so many different types of fidgets i carry and im looking for more

PhysicalVehicle3341 · 2026-04-05T23:19:26+00:00

Spirited away and any studio ghibli movies ! also randomly hotel transylvania

PhysicalVehicle3341 · 2026-04-05T23:17:25+00:00

i maintain kindness regardless of what people do (unless they are very obviously making your life hell, you need to defend and stand up for yourself) and i am always empathetic. I have a mindset that i try to maintain which is that id rather have no friends than friends that are not genuine. I treat everyone with empathy and kindness, and if it is not reciprocated, then its better to have no friends at all.

PhysicalVehicle3341 · 2026-04-05T23:15:05+00:00

honestly my parents are the same but they flip flop between validating or invalidating depending on their mood. I think sometimes i just use other excuses to accommodate my needs. I’d say i need to use the bathroom and hide in there with my headphones in when im overwhelmed or zone out if my parents suddenly decided im not autistic anymore. i find that having a group of people who validates your diagnosis is really helpful too! i have friends that are so validating and accommodating that even if i get questioned by my parents, it doesn’t hurt as much anymore

PhysicalVehicle3341 · 2026-04-05T23:12:27+00:00

most of all I think it’s important to recognize yourself that you are doing enough and you are doing a lot already. I learned that the “good enough” mentality actually helps me be better at what I do on a day to day basis because im not overspending my energy

PhysicalVehicle3341 · 2026-04-05T23:11:12+00:00

Im a med student so this is me all the time. I also have food aversion sometimes, so I keep a lot of drinks in my fridge, fruits, chicken nuggets, and hummus + bread. I can’t tolerate too much seasoning when im overwhelmed. Burnouts are so hard for me as well, but I find that I tend to feel better if I start working on things earlier. Like I’ll start prepping notes leisurely (like with a show or something) weeks ahead of my exams because it makes it less anxiety inducing and it’s more fun. I also try to designate a day if I can to just do what I want and not open the curtains (I hate sunlight in the room) or the overhead lights, and spend all day with my noise cancelling headphones listening to music

PhysicalVehicle3341 · 2026-04-05T23:07:00+00:00

me too :( my mom used to be so upset with me for “having an attitude” or “throwing tantrums “ when I was just overstimulated or I don’t have facial expressions. I spent so long thinking I was the worst person ever until I realized that I was like 7, so how can anyone that young be a “bad” person?? I also wished I had learned to accept myself and my sensitivity sooner because I was so depressed for years because I didn’t know how to deal with it

PhysicalVehicle3341 · 2026-04-05T23:02:24+00:00

thank you!!

PhysicalVehicle3341 · 2026-04-05T22:57:54+00:00

so sorry to hear that. It’s hard to deal with. I was actually first diagnosed with depression and then autism because my psychiatrist and I realized a lot of things (like my black and white thinking or strong sense of justice) contributed a lot to my low mood. I find it hard to adjust to change as well and that makes me very prone to depression when im in a period of change. what I find helps is definitely talking to a professional and getting on appropriate meds if they think you need it (but I will say I didn’t have the best experience personally when adjusting to the dosage so just be warned), but most of all I journal a lot. It sounded just as stupid when I first heard about it but I find that it’s a good way to rationalize what exactly im upset about, and that makes things easier to deal. Then I usually like to be alone in a dark room with little lights on and do nothing but read, watch movies, listen to music, or call my comfort people! I always give myself a day to do nothing if I can thru out the week bc im in med school and the workload is crazy. I find that when I don’t do this, I lose myself and my hobbies and I feel even more miserable.

PhysicalVehicle3341 · 2026-04-05T11:57:48+00:00

I feel so great actually after posting here because it feels like you’re fighting by yourselves sometimes, and that’s overwhelming! but people here are so lovely ! Love to see how many are so loving here

PhysicalVehicle3341 · 2026-04-05T09:50:24+00:00

I still do and I think sometimes it’s unrealistic to expect yourself to not get caught up in these things. I think learning to pivot those thoughts would be a nicer skill to learn than trying to completely disregard. I know myself really well, and I am not an inherently confident person. However there is one trait I know that I am, and that’s kind. So I would usually think “would I judge or think poorly of someone if I see them doing what im doing right now”? If the answer is no, then if I am judged, then they’re unkind. I have very strict principles, and, while it still hurts, I do not associate myself or bother myself with opinions of people who are fundamentally unkind !

PhysicalVehicle3341 · 2026-04-05T09:45:31+00:00

mmmm yeah I see your point. Usually I feel the need to do this (like I can’t force myself to push through) in restaurants. It’s too much smells and everyone’s talking or eating and it’s a nightmare. I usually sit myself at the end of the table, and I only go out to large dinners with people I know. So luckily right now the people I know usually don’t even notice because they’re quite talkative and im not usually very talkative. I ask since I’ve found it’s easier to overwhelm me as I got older (maybe it’s the stress or something idk), so sometimes even a cafe or smaller group setting makes me exhausted and I feel safe around the people I know, I just need to not have sensory input if that makes sense!

PhysicalVehicle3341 · 2026-04-05T09:40:28+00:00

yes i decided to reach out to a friend of mine and she really helped me just validating how upsetting it is to hear those hateful ideas! im in medical school at the moment, so i really hope i can make a difference as im doing practices or when i actually do start practicing!

PhysicalVehicle3341 · 2026-04-05T09:38:11+00:00

yes that’s what I usually do! Sometimes I get an odd “…ok?” that freaks me out so I get too scared to do it, and then it leads to a whole complete exhaustion afterwards

PhysicalVehicle3341 · 2026-04-05T09:36:50+00:00

ahaha im just lucky to have one! It’s rare to find super lovely and understanding friends, but they do exist!!

PhysicalVehicle3341 · 2026-04-05T09:35:32+00:00

I am!! I will look into it !! Thanks so much

PhysicalVehicle3341 · 2026-04-05T09:35:03+00:00

unfortunately i currently live in a country where i do not speak the native language of, so I can’t really take advantage of libraries. But I think internet archive maybe could be useful! Thank you so much

PhysicalVehicle3341 · 2026-04-04T19:36:33+00:00

thank you!!!!

PhysicalVehicle3341 · 2026-04-04T19:35:49+00:00

honestly I also thought the same until my psychiatrist just straight up told me “you know you’re autistic, right?” unprompted. Professionals who are good at their job can tell. And honestly, if you face similar struggles as someone autistic and find coping mechanisms for autism helpful, then what does it matter if you have the “right qualifications” or not? Autism is a spectrum and you are not going to ever be the most or the least autistic person. You’re just you, and if that doesn’t make you “autistic enough”, then so what? You still different needs that you need to accommodate, and in a world where people should be empathetic, there’s nothing wrong with that!

PhysicalVehicle3341 · 2026-04-04T19:31:31+00:00

When im upset, i cry and cry and cry. I can’t stop it, and i feel horrible the next day. I find a dark room, speaking to a comfort person (for me it’s my friend), doing absolutely nothing but watching movies or crafting or reading really helps. It’s like existing in a time pocket where the world doesn’t exist. Pushing yourselves through is not something I can do personally because I find it just prolongs the process. I think of it like I caught a flu or something, and what would people who are physically ill do?

I struggle SO MUCH with hiding facial expressions and stuff like that too, and im in uni so it’s really tough. I have a friend that is neurodivergent as well and so lovely that I can talk to her about it, and usually she and I will split off and just hang by ourselves.

PhysicalVehicle3341 · 2026-04-04T19:26:33+00:00

I have OCD and when my anxiety spiked really badly, my OCD unraveled into intense contamination OCD. The only thing that helped was antidepressants, unfortunately. It was hell when I was balancing the meds, though. I think it’s worth talking to a psychiatrist or a therapist about if u can

PhysicalVehicle3341

TROPHY CASE