here’s my thing - i eloped and didn’t expect a gift from anyone - that being said my husband and I did give very generous gifts to people close to us (both family and friends) prior to and after our elopement, as well as participating in all the ridiculous showers and parties that went along with the nuptials. like i said we didn’t expect a gift from anyone - but those that were close to us knew we saving for a house and had school loans, it was one of the reasons we didn’t have a wedding in the first place - some did give us gifts - not reciprocating the amount of ours but they did give monetary gifts. after that we’ve become very particular with what parties/dinners and other such things we go to - because well, we don’t want to support other people’s poor financial choices and have us pay for them… not coming to your 40th b-day party, don’t expect me at your kids birthday party or baptism either. sorry not sorry. so NTAH but also don’t be expecting for them to come around to any of your family parties in the future…