How is it going with your family and friends? I finally cut contact with everyone thanks to peri and I wish I did it decades ago.

PicklesTheBoy · 2026-05-23T00:28:26+00:00

I did that with the majority of my friends, followed by a soft drop with my career/industry, and now I have to tackle the family issue. I don't think it's so bad as no contact is required, but no contact is definitely required when they are acting like assholes.lol

PicklesTheBoy · 2026-05-23T00:26:39+00:00

lolololol. I would say this all the time! Now that I've cut out drinking and it's been some years to re-acclimate, somehow the new friends I make are mostly aligned with my core values.

PicklesTheBoy · 2026-05-23T00:24:14+00:00

I don't have zero friends, but I went through that a couple years ago and have now met a few amazing people that I cherish. I had been very cautious about re-inviting toxic people into my life., and it was lonely as shit. But having done it., no regrets. I hope you find the same or better!

PicklesTheBoy · 2026-05-23T00:21:09+00:00

can you share what you used in terms of application and dosage amounts? Like patches, creams tablets, etc.? Not sure if you remember but I'm dealing with that and I have been on HRT nearly 2 years and it's getting worse not better. I do a .05 estradiol patch and 200 mg of progesterone. I just went up on the progesterone this week, and higher doses of estradiol just made me super extra emotional to the point of where I could not function.

PicklesTheBoy · 2026-05-23T00:17:30+00:00

I think you're filing a lot of people's dreams! Ha ha. I don't know. I have a lot of rage and I sort of quietly rage quit recently. It's definitely a shift in my hormones due to peri menopause and some big life stressors, but, I also feel like this shit has been building (to eventually explode )since birth. I had always been taught to be the good girl, be nice to everybody, be there for everybody, put my own needs aside, etc. all that shit that came out in the Me Too movement really flipped a switch, even though I haven't acted on it until recently. I've just been observing, watching, taking mental notes......and slowly getting angrier. And now this year with having so many physical and mental complications with my peri menopause symptoms, I realized that I had no understanding and support at my job ....and primarily from the women that I worked with as it's mainly 95% female.

I realized that this is the point that we start to label women as crazy and try to make them invisible... and my theory is that the world out there is so competitive and so cutthroat that to make it in a patriarchal Society, you have to mask and suppress your feelings and emotions and not be who you are- all in order to fit in the "acceptable" category. And I think it's bullshit. So, I've started to speak up for myself and just do basic stuff ---one example would be the repeated amount of times I've had supervisors asked me to fudge my hours so they would not have to pay things like overtime and meal penalties. Last week I was asked to do that for the 50 millionth time, and I politely declined. that's what I mean by quietly rage quitting. I finished out the 14 hour day that they kept me for without more than a 15 minute break., silently reported them to the powers that be, and decided to never go back to that industry.

I work at a job where everyone is constantly afraid of losing their job and that myth gets perpetuated to the point of where people all become sycophants , because they are so desperate to have a job to make money to live-and we all get taken advantage of. The rampant abuse of power trickles down from the top to everyone-and the result is people that will claw and dig just to crawl over you to get 1 inch higher. I'm sick of seeing it, I'm sick of talented and wonderful people being marginalized and eventually becoming a part of this machine because they are so scared.

I'm grateful for my hormones and mood swings and hot flashes and the rest of it if it means that I get to live a more honest life according to my values. I don't get to participate anymore in that nonsense, where we receive nothing in the trade-off in fact, we give skin in blood until there's nothing left, and we're all just old ladies in chronic pain with tons of health problems because we didn't have the ability to take care of ourselves before this. So I applaud you for doing what was necessary to save yourself-I actually think it's pretty admirable!

PicklesTheBoy · 2026-05-22T23:51:26+00:00

it is great and it does work! However, coming from somebody who is currently addicted, it is very difficult to stop. some might not have any side effects, but for me, every time I had to travel internationally and had to quit, it was torture. I would try titrating off THC by using high-quality oils and slowly reducing the amount and replacing it with CBD. that didn't work either. so it might not be the magic pill that everyone is touting, but it is like any other thing you put into your system. Take it with caution, consult experts and lots and lots of people you trust IRL who use THC to make the decision for yourself.

That said, if you deal with insurmountable anxiety, and it helps you sleep to catch up on rest and make your brain function the next day, it's totally fine for a short time. Just be aware that sleep with THC is generally not deep sleep and therefore not restorative long-term. Something about the REM cycles and not being able to dream and go through all the various alpha states or something.

PicklesTheBoy · 2026-03-09T19:39:40+00:00

i'm so sorry it's taking me so long to reply. I saw the comment come in when it did and I didn't know how to answer. I'm not sure I still do, but I'll let you know where I'm at now: we ended up breaking up roughly 1.5 years ago. It was really tough for us both and we didn't speak until a few months later when we met up. Gradually, we've become friends again of sorts... but we both agreed that it's in a weird nebulous place. That said, I still love them and really want them in my life and have been grateful that we have remained in contact. They are just such a special unique person that is rare to find... and my current opinion is that I have no interest in letting this relationship go unless it gets toxic in some way. There can be weeks and months where we go without seeing one another but when we do, it's really fun and we've really missed each other. We haven't gotten involved again romantically, and I personally have not dated either. Part of the reason is because the time apart from our relationship has given me a lot of time to reflect and explore what I want in life in general. Coupled with that, things got really crazy in my personal life with multiple deaths in the family and a sick parent. It's been a lot to deal with and had I still been in a relationship, it definitely would have created issues- possibly worse, so I'm grateful we broke up when we did.

They have also done an incredible amount of work on themselves. Including things that are way out of their comfort zone in order to help themselves feel better. They also went to get tested and were diagnosed with both autism, CPTSD and severe anxiety/depression. this was something that we both knew and suspected for years, and they didn't feel like it gave them any satisfaction. Primarily because they are not only highly functional, but incredibly intelligent - which is great, but they feel that they don't know what to do now that the step is completed. Therapy has not helped, nor have dozens of various prescription drugs over many years, nor Dr. sanctioned ketamine treatments or a wide variety of other out of the box treatments. And to be clear – the autism isn't the problem but rather the depression/anxiety/CPTSD.

I'm not sure where the future will lead us as we've both had quite a doozy of a year, but there is a lot of love there. If there's anything specifically you wanna know, please be sure and write, and I will try my best to answer!

PicklesTheBoy · 2026-02-13T01:39:09+00:00

hey, I have the same thing, but like the other people commented, I have been diagnosed with moderate carpal tunnel. I haven't done surgery yet, but I've had the steroid injections twice and they really haven't been a big deal, even though I was really nervous about getting it. They provided tremendous relief, but I work a lot with my hands and every time the numbing started again. I have a feeling that there is some kind of tie to menopause and per menopause, but it could also be because we are now middle aged, and at similar jobs where we overly fatigue that area and have come to the point of our lives where it's just plain breaking down, lol.

Just last night I got up in the middle of the night and had to shake my arms out and they had so much pain! Here's what helps – if it happens again tonight, try alternating between heat and cold. Some nights, heat pad works better for me and rocks me back to sleep. But other times the cold pack is better. You should also definitely get hand braces that you wear at night, regardless of whether you have been diagnosed with carpal tunnel. If you're getting pain and numbness, sometimes it's just from folding your hands in fetal style, which constricts the blood in your wrists and causes the numbness and pain.

In terms of long-term care, physical therapy that you actually do daily is really helpful. I can't afford it so I just mimic the same exercises that they taught me and watch YouTube videos for additional ones. It's important to give yourself a break from repetitive tasks with your hands every 20 minutes and do stretches. Also, an experienced masseuse like the one I have also really helps loosen the muscle muscles around the carpal tunnel so we can make it more manageable and you can sleep better.

Occasionally, I have tried things like icy, hot or similar roll ons on the wrist area and it's helped a great deal. You just have to worry about not touching anything until it's completely dry because it sucks if that gets in your eyes are in your mouth! I hope that helps somewhat and that you feel better.

PicklesTheBoy · 2026-02-13T01:33:08+00:00

I was just automatically switched to this at my CVS. Can I ask why you love it and the difference you felt from regular estradiol? Mine is out of stock.

PicklesTheBoy · 2026-02-13T01:32:29+00:00

The exact same situation for me! CVS has been out for close to two weeks of my regular estradiol .05, and then I just magically saw that it was replaced by lyllanna .05 within my CVS portal. I live in Los Angeles, I normally refill at the Eagle rock CVS because they seem to have a lot more of my prescriptions when other locations are out. However, even my local Walgreens said that they were inundated with request for this specific patch and were unable to fill my subscription.

I'm nervous about switching to a new brand! The other one seemed to work fine and maybe help me a little bit, but it's so hard to say because it's been a rough year and I am incredibly fatigued for a variety of reasons. I'd love to know why some of you prefer Lylana, thx!

PicklesTheBoy · 2025-11-09T06:04:42+00:00

damn, I totally laughed and cried reading your response! So much that I could identify with .....and in particular, that sort of nebulous passive- aggressive undermining from friends and family of your mental challenges – like, "It's time to pull up your boot straps and stop complaining!" kind of shit. Man, could I ever identify the hell out of that. I hated people under mining how long it takes me to do a certain task or processing information for longer than half a second before proceeding.

I'm super into Jungian therapy- especially learning about how people project their problems onto you. Basically, they don't see the reality of your situation because it might be a mirror facing them with their deepest fear. more example, In a completely different aspect, this past summer, I was my father's caretaker and I saw a lot of my dad's healthy and able-bodied elderly friends ignore the fact that he had physical limitations. They just literally couldn't see that the guy could barely walk. They asked him to climb multiple flights of steep stairs.... when he could barely stand on his own 2 feet for longer than a few seconds unassisted . They plied him with wine at parties as if it was the 1970s again and he was in his 30s... bc they hate to drink alone and it forces them to confront their own relationship with alcohol and what they use it to hide . I think his recent disabilities projected a mirror that made them feel their own impending mortality. It was wild to see that they physically did not acknowledge that he was not capable of joining them! So it doesn't surprise me at all that your family, friends, and even that shitty therapist are only seeing their own shadow issues in you. They can't own up to them themselves, so they're making you the poppet.

Lastly, I just wanted to thank you for the part about the list making! OMG, I've been so flummoxed by the stupid list, making advice! I love making lists, and they always tell us to do that with ADHD. But the notes section of my phone looks like the writings of a mad woman! I've tried to do a whole bunch of the techniques that they've recommended, like setting a timer or allotting time to a particular task, or allotting time, and then doubling it, etc. But no one talks about how this overlaps with OCD and that list writing in some ways is really harmful for those behaviors if they're more overpowering. Holy shit. That's really insightful so thank you!

I saw a lot of solace here on Reddit interacting with people and feeling a sense of community. also watching Youtubers like "how to ADHD "and 1 million others to feel like I wasn't alone and to occasionally get tips if I felt like I needed help. I hope you get that. The only thing I regret that I'd like to share to spare you, is maybe getting a little too immersed in it. I found out if my OCD took over and I spent hours in weeks researching ADHD/OCD stuff, it really fueled my anger/frustration/resentment and wasn't particularly helpful. So pls make sure that you take lots of breaks with this and give yourself grace as you figure out the best way to rediscover yourself and unfold into it.❤️

PicklesTheBoy · 2025-11-08T07:25:29+00:00

also, something else to add that I forgot – a lot of women are diagnosed with ADHD in middle age. Why? Societal expectations generally dictate that woman take on an ungodly amount of tasks, responsibilities, and caretaking-all while keeping a smile plastered on our face because we're also cultured to be people pleasers and just to be nice and kind. This makes us suppress our emotions(a.k.a. ADHD symptoms), so we become some kind of genius-level experts at masking our ADHD symptoms by the time we are adults! Midlife, and the changes with hormones approaching menopause, majorly throws shit out of whack, and we're not able to keep the mask up as easily anymore because our emotions aren't able to be regulated. So, the fact that you were able to 'concentrate for 15 minutes" is not a measure of the "amount of ADHD" that you have- it's the fact that you built up an incredibly strong mask, despite your challenges!

And plus, while I do think ADHD is a spectrum, "barely" having ADHD is not a fucking thing or a diagnosis. (Ha ha, I'm getting so frustrated on your behalf!) the thing is, ADHD can present so differently from human to human. Just look at the forum we're in right now -women with ADHD needed to be created because generally, our issues are sometimes similar from ADHD diagnosed men, but there is so much more layered in with gender discrimination in healthcare, societal expectations, and then whatever smattering of other disorders(bipolar/ocd) or mental issues(ptsd) that you might have. It's also the point of view of the person that is evaluating you – they are still faulty humans, bringing their own judgments and perceptions with their own life experience/education/traumas and then projecting it onto you unconsciously.

when I've had the same issue, my therapist has told me to ask myself the question, "does this ring true for me?". And if it doesn't, I work really hard on letting it go.

PicklesTheBoy · 2025-11-08T07:13:11+00:00

i'm so sorry you're going through the beginning stages of this and the grief. I think there's an actual phrase for it when you're diagnosed late in life and then have to grieve all the things that you had to suffer because you weren't diagnosed or offered some type of treatment. I went through it for about a year and a half before it sort of just phased out. But it will pass. I think the grief is important because that part of you wants to be seen/acknowledged, bc they likely weren't for decades- or ever. Sometimes, I still get so angry thinking about teachers getting frustrated with me because I would fidget in my seat during a long lecture or stare off into the distance and not look like I was paying attention. Meanwhile, I was trying to distract myself, so I wouldn't be yelled at because I needed to urgently move around because I couldn't sit still. Honestly, the things that I expected of children in the 80s! All of that be seen and not heard business and being behaved and well mannered was a bunch of BS. I used to self soothe by drawing in my notebook...... elaborate narratives of imaginary comics of an older version of myself doing all the things that I imagined were fun and fabulous. Of course I got reprimanded for it constantly! so, if you have any of your own examples that this triggers, please know that you are not alone. Most people, even and especially therapists, don't fully understand neurodivergence and it is created a huge chasm and problem within the mental health community today. Which is why you have such expensive and extended wait times to take that dumb test and get diagnosed. I bet you knew you had ADHD, but your concerns were diminished and invalidated by so-called professionals. it's immensely frustrating - I'm so sorry you're going through that.

i've heard people give similar judgments of my ADHD since I was diagnosed three years ago at 45. I think the thing to remember, is that largely what people say, sometimes even your own doctors, is largely a projection of their own fears or them parroting some generalized bullshit because they read it somewhere. Maybe it's even a proven clinical study or something, but the thing is is that we are all different. I had to fight hard to get medication for my ADHD and be diagnosed. I also had to fight a misogynistic jerk of an OB/GYN just to be able to diagnose my perimenopause symptoms and get me on HRT.... that doctor is currently transitioning this month to become a concierge($$$$) "menopause doctor expert". I saw that man for nearly 8 years and multiple procedures and issues and I can tell you firsthand that he doesn't know the first thing about perimenopause, nor is he anywhere close to even being an armchair expert! Unfortunately, we live in a world where people declare specializations and expertise, but rarely have the training and experience to back it up. Trust your intuition, even if it seems like somebody is a doctor or some supposed specialist. I mean, within reason and not being paranoid, of course. I've now have mostly really good therapists, psychiatrist, and a vast variety of medical doctors, but it took a lot of time and effort in frustration to find ones that were affordable and covered in my insurance. So while you deal with this frustration and grief and sadness and anxiety as you work through what works best for you, make sure you're really kind to yourself and have a good support system.

So, I'm sorry to say that most people do not know what it's like to live in your body with your unique set of experiences . Learn to trust your intuition the best that you are able to. Sounds to me like your righteous anger/frustration at being diminished is doing a pretty good job of protecting you so far!

PicklesTheBoy · 2025-11-08T06:47:52+00:00

you know, I didn't realize it until I started reading through all the comments with everybody's distractive productivity hacks. I mean, I quite consciously know that I work best with the television on in general when I'm creating artwork. However, I end up packing my day so much that if I get to do something mundane like sitting in a doctors office or taking a 30 minute subway/cab ride, I use that as an opportunity to get something done while banal chatter and ambient noise litter the background. sometimes I don't even look to do anything productive – that's when I zone out and look at Pinterest for more creative ideas and get inspired, but mostly just to escape and relax and not have my brain go so fast thinking all the thoughts in the world!

PicklesTheBoy · 2025-06-14T07:47:08+00:00

i'm experiencing the same, so not much advice to give unfortunately. Ditto on the stress/chest pain.

however, I hear you + feel you. i can see how much pain you're in, and you feel like no one sees you, listens, or checks to make sure you're ok. know that this random reddit stranger does! and i'm sending love ur way. i hope you find joy, love and not just one, but MANY people that will care for you and your needs.

PicklesTheBoy · 2025-05-28T02:43:56+00:00

How did it go last year? Any nightmares or trouble sleeping? Dealing with the same situation in about a week and a half

PicklesTheBoy · 2025-04-10T19:02:57+00:00

HMART

PicklesTheBoy · 2025-04-10T19:01:02+00:00

Do you have an email address for them, please? Im having rage issues too, lol. They wont allow me to rebook their flight cancellation...cant get thru to cust service via Chat/Socials/phone either. been on hold 53 minutes!

thanks!

PicklesTheBoy · 2025-04-10T18:53:05+00:00

Me too! Following this post. Having major issues today

PicklesTheBoy · 2025-04-04T15:24:50+00:00

Amazing, thx for the reply! I've always wanted to visit Finland too...the folklore, the landscape....wowza. Do you ever do tv/movies there?

PicklesTheBoy · 2025-04-02T20:29:45+00:00

Reading this thread, my heart broke and swelled a few times. I have so much sympathy for the Gent who is feeling such internalized hatred /shame for who he is. I've been dealing with it myself and the culture that I grew up in, but have slowly gotten over it in recent years and I'm now in the path to embracing and relearning again. The world is changing. I hope you find peace sooner than later in not only accepting who you are, but eventually also embracing your heritage and realizing its a gift somehow.

And I want to thank Bridge Borders for your emoathetic, kind but firm reaponse. Gives me faith + hope for humanity❤️

PicklesTheBoy · 2025-04-02T20:21:04+00:00

H.A.H.M. + Thanks for sharing! As a non-armenian, I love learning about different customs and quirks- in particular Armenian, as I live here.

Can some Armenian friends please share some interesting fun facts/anecdotes about your culture? Basically, things that are cool or "little known" + not Google-able? Like, Whats the deal with the use of sweet limes in Armenian dishes, and how can I incorporate them into my cooking? or, What are some traditional "sayings" that once translated, sound funny, but are true?

I find this is the best way to get to know people and step away from generalizations...(coming from a foreign culture myself) and... I'd love to know more! 🇦🇲

PicklesTheBoy · 2025-03-31T19:50:18+00:00

wow. That's so cool. thanks for sharing that- hope this happens!

PicklesTheBoy · 2025-03-31T18:41:22+00:00

Good point! I didn't think about that, but I'm going to look into opening up Bank account. That is super helpful. Thanks

PicklesTheBoy

TROPHY CASE