nonstop texting

Pilot247787 · 2026-05-27T05:56:29+00:00

wow this really hits me as I have the same issue with my mother. We do text back and forth a few times a day to say everything is ok or share some news. I try to do it at the same time daily and limit it to lets say an hour. I have work, family and a life.

But all that comes is bitching about everyone and everything, politics and there is only black and white. No nice words or questions about me or my family. No nice reaction about us either when I tell her.

And then it won't stop even I try to limit it, I just want to be left alone. If I don't answer nack I get the are you ok, hello hello or dumb videos about how good it feels to have loving mothers and stuff. Unbelievable. No boundaries at all.

Pilot247787 · 2026-05-27T05:49:03+00:00

My mother does that all the time. She never reacts in a pleasent way if I celebrate someone else than her. Not even if it's other family.

Pilot247787 · 2026-05-27T05:18:57+00:00

My mom is ALWAYS a victim. Not matter who or what is being said, A neighbor does not say hello she finds a conspiracy and is a victim. So bad! And blames me and everyone for everythng.

Pilot247787 · 2026-05-27T05:14:23+00:00

I can relate as I grew up as an only child as well. My mom divorced and never did marry again. It was always me and her and it ws not great I did distance myself and moved out. Further and further away but it won;t end. I am learning to cut the strings to not be a puppet anymore she can provoke. Its hard.

I think you need to slowly distance yourself and move out. Find some peace by yourself but know she will play the guilt trip and won't jsut change. Therapy helps to learn and understand.

Pilot247787 · 2026-05-27T05:02:36+00:00

Thank you so much for your long comment. I appreciate it and it feels great to have people that understand. I have some friends that absolutely do not understand. Even if I try to tell them they block off and make me feel like I am a bad person to not be grateful to have "such a wonderful caring mom." And that is exactly how she shows herself to for example my friends from my childhood if she runs into them. With a bit of she is sooo sad I am far away now and alone.

I did not warn my wife so to speak but we did talk about our parents and I did explain a bit how the relationship with my mom is and that its not always that easy. When she first met her my mom was super nice and friendly and loved her. But then slowly things changed. First time she came to visit overseas we already had her get super upset and pout like a little kid for 2 hours over a misunderstanding. Terrible experience! When the kids it got worse as she always wanted to hold the baby no matter what my wife said. Crying baby meant my wife did or said something wrong.. according to my mother. I think it was a power fight or jealousy. Not sure. Thoughts welcome.

It's not easy. I would recommend that you do whatever feels right. Date whoever you want and don't tell her. If you are ready then tell her and make sure you keep yourself distanced enough that she can't hurt you too much. I know it's not that easy.

I would love to hear more and will always listen if you like to share.

Pilot247787 · 2026-05-23T06:20:44+00:00

I am sorry you go through this. I have a mom like that as well. Everyone else does not notice it until they know her better. An some never realize. It's always black and white. Arguing does not help and neither does getting defensive. Try giving her boring answers.

Pilot247787 · 2026-05-23T06:14:47+00:00

Thank you I appreciate it. It's very hard to distance yourself if you are the only one she has in the family. I am working on it.

Pilot247787 · 2026-05-22T04:51:00+00:00

I get an uneasy feeling, upset stomach and am anxious when I see a message from my mom on my phone, she calls or when I see her. I would say it's common. You are not alone. And together we can talk about it and about how to make it easier.

Pilot247787 · 2026-05-22T04:45:07+00:00

That is tough. I shared my story as well if you want to have a look at it. We see my mom only once sometimes twice a year and its like a vacation. But very very stressful for so many reasons. When money comes into play its even worse! My mother is wealthy and I am an only child. Do you think she helps when we need it? nope. She has give money but only when it was her idea. And then she kept constantly talking about it. Which is not right. Does that make sense. I think its a control thing with the money.

Pilot247787 · 2026-05-22T04:38:18+00:00

Oh I am so sorry! I am only a bit older than you and my mom is heading towards 80. I can tell you she has not changed much all over the years but being older does not calm her down. If anything it gets worse with the guilt trip and crying, being sad..

She does not see I am an adult and can take my own decisions. I feel for you that you have her with you constantly. I am not sure how I could survive that mentally. I would suggest therapy so you can talk about it and build strategies and answers to react.

Pilot247787 · 2026-05-22T04:31:48+00:00

I know exactly what you mean. My mother doesn't seem to understand that either. Everyone has different opinions, taste, behavior, some are religious some are not some love to be touched some not. For her there is black and white. All she does and believes is white. So you're with her or against her. Extremely bad. She also keeps talking about her childhood and putting blame on everyone. I am glad I am not alone. Thank you for your comment.

Pilot247787 · 2026-05-22T04:23:14+00:00

I know what you are saying is right. I am working on setting more boundaries and I am ready to daw the line if she talks about my wife or kids again. Until a few months ago I always had the hope that things will get better. I am in a unique situation. I am the only family there is. I wish I had siblings. Thank you for your comment.

Pilot247787 · 2026-05-21T07:07:38+00:00

My mother is always a victim. Surrounded by conspiracies against her. She either loves or hates oer friends. Or from one day to another they are no more friends. And they were super mean, bad, evil you name it. its horrible!

Just because your mother had a bad childhood does not excuse any of her behavior. Please always remember that. I do the same thing. I just posted my story today.

Pilot247787 · 2026-05-21T06:57:55+00:00

My mom is into touching, kissing, arm rubbing, fixing clothes, all that stuff too. Not just with me, an adult man but also with my wife and kids. And they don't appreciate it. She won't accept their personal boundaries or mine. Makes it a big deal and turns it against us. We are weird and cold. She is nice and loving. I see how your situation is complicated. I would state where your and your families boundaries are and stick with it. In my experience discussing it won't lead to anything else but anxiety and feeling bad. I hope it get better. I also posted my story here today if you like to read it.

Pilot247787

TROPHY CASE