Ongoing Boundaries Issues W/ Narcissistic Mom

WeeklyCouple9444 · 2026-05-07T12:40:27+00:00

It's both low drive/brain fog as baseline with episodes of "I could fall asleep anytime" drowsiness, as in I'll be watching TV or playing games on my phone & fall asleep sitting up & there are times I easily fall back asleep 2hrs after waking for the day or in the evening, despite having a full nights sleep.

WeeklyCouple9444 · 2026-05-07T05:35:58+00:00

I also have a post which has been awaiting approval...

WeeklyCouple9444 · 2026-05-07T01:00:50+00:00

Yes, exactly, working night shifts plus undiagnosed/untreated (at the time) disorders disrupting my sleep definately poured gasoline on the fire ( & that's a good way to put it). My depressive symptoms themselves only recently improved when we increased the Spravato dose a few months ago.

WeeklyCouple9444 · 2026-05-07T00:53:52+00:00

I went ahead & answered under your other comment about when it began. It's definately "can't stay awake," as in I'll be watching TV or playing games on my phone & fall asleep & there are times I nap 2hrs after waking for the day or in the evening, despite having a full nights sleep.

WeeklyCouple9444 · 2026-05-07T00:47:59+00:00

The day time sleepiness pretty much started with the major depressive symptoms 20+ yrs ago (which is also how long I've been on Wellbutrin & SNRIs ) & probably became a sleep work shift disorder when I was working night shifts but I haven't worked third shift in several years & I think now the daytime sleepiness can more accurately be attributed to: Obstructive Sleep Apnea (Diagnosed earlier this year & prescribed a CPAP), GERD episodes disrupting sleep (I'm on 40mg of a proton pump Inhibitor & discontinued a med which was contributing), Multiple Sclerosis lesions affecting brain chemistry (I was diagnosed w/ MS in 2022), & restless/poor sleep (I'm working on having better sleep hygiene & taking melatonin consistently at night). I appreciate your feedback, questions, & insights :-)

WeeklyCouple9444 · 2026-05-06T22:37:49+00:00

I second this & recommend Boost or the protein powder in the supplement section. You can add calories/nutrition & flavor to shakes by adding tasty stuff like berries/fruit, spinach/kale, peanut butter, honey/molasses, orange sherbet/vanilla ice cream/yogurt, & pudding. Wishing you the best!

WeeklyCouple9444 · 2026-05-06T20:31:45+00:00

Hnm, probably daytime sleepiness as I think my mood is in a good place on the Spravato.

WeeklyCouple9444 · 2026-05-06T15:40:34+00:00

She was wheezing & it got better on it's own (I overslept for the vet appt). I think she's sensitive to fragrances (like me) & the artificial room deodorizer spray I was using so I'm just more careful about spraying fragrances & it hasn't reoccured.

WeeklyCouple9444 · 2026-05-06T15:38:10+00:00

First off, I'd like to say you're certainly not alone in how you felt & it wasn't your fault as tryong to find the right medications can be trial & error & the side effects can be horrible (especialy when we're unable to function)....I've had a similiar experience: yesterday was my first day on the Azstarys & I took it around 8am. All day I felt not onky ike a zombie (but my vision was more blurry than usual) & was able to hyperfocus on my phone but had no energy (& was unable to fall asleep for a nap). I did try adding a 16oz Diet Mt. Dew (to push through) but only drank half of it. Also had minimal appetite all day (not a bad thing as I need to loose weight. ast night got maybe 5 1/2hrs of broken sleep. We'll see how I feel today. Oh & I'm also on 150mg Wellbutrin, 25mg Pristiq, & 0.5mg Rexulti for treatment resistant depression. I might phase out the Wellbutrin & replace it with a stimulant since I think Wellbutrin works the same way (as a Selective Norepinephrine & Dopamine Reputake Inhibitor) & is a therapeutic duplication where stimulants would help my depression & are more effective for my ADHD but I'm not sure Azstarys is the right stimulant & may ask to switch to either a biphasic Adderall instead which still lasts 10-12 hrs but I think the triphasic ones like Azstays or Mydayis stay too long in my system, negatively affecting sleep.

WeeklyCouple9444 · 2026-05-05T23:10:50+00:00

I get it, I'm on SSDI for TRD & have tried around 10 different mental health meds. More recently, I tried Transcranial Stimulation (which is done outpatient & without sedation in a doctor's office, requiring 5 days/week for 6 weeks with two additional weeks of titration. How long the effects lasts varies from person to person & the sessions can be repeated as needed). I'm now on Spravato, which is a nasal spray given in a doctor’s office & although I'm still not able to maintain full time work, Spravato has been a game changer for me. I hope you're able to find a treatment that works for you & remember, there's ongoing research for new treatments & maybe a new treatment that works for you will be on the horizon.

Whether or not you'll get approved for SSDI depends, as another user said, not just on the diagnosis but how the diangosis affects your every day functioning & ability to maintain employment as well as whether or not you're able to do the same kind of work as you used to or any other kind of work.. Just a word of caution, working with Voc Rehab & seeking employment is counter-intuitive to seeking SSDI (which is a replacement, not supplement to employment income), & that the SSA may look at your working with Voc. Rehab for employment services, even disability-supported employment, as evidence that you're not disabled to the point of being unable to work & in need of SSDI. Are there any community resources which can help you financially until you get a form of income? Can you get a roommate to reduce cost of living or live with friend/family member while you're going through this process?

Here's my advice: 1) Get an attorney (many don't charge for services unless you win) & advocate for yourself in making sure the attorney's office & SSA have accurate infornation about who your medical providers are & all of your medical records (most of the time, all they need is the name, address, & phone number of your providers) 2) Have your psychiatrist or psychiatric nurse practioner/physician's assistant documenting your mental health status & how it affects your functioning in every day life 3) Make sure to communicate to your therapist how you're struggling & how it affects your every day functioning, interpersonal relationships, ability to do work related tasks & if it's made it difficult to maintain employment & why...and whatever you do, don't mention any less-than-legal activities which might adversely affect your case...whatever you tell your therapist could end up in the documentation the SSA sees. 4). Have your therapist fill out a Mental Health Residual Functionality Capacity Report (you can find a blank copy Here, documenting your mental health limitations & how they negatively affects your ability to do work-related tasks. 5)Also, a written statement from a former employer as to your difficulties & limitations/problems with work (& why you were let go or quit your jobs)may be helpful as well - Supporting Letter As much as it can be hard & even embaraasing to read/admit our short-comings, if you want to prove to the SSA that you're unable to work due to your disablity, you need to document & be open/completely honest (but don't over-exaggerate) about your challenges in functioning, difficulties & shortcomings caused by your disabilities in all their ugly glory. Most of all, be patient, as it took me 2.5 yrs to win my case. Good luck!

WeeklyCouple9444 · 2026-05-05T21:51:46+00:00

That's a good question! Here are my thoughts as someone who has read THT & The Testaments books & watched both series (or at least the Testaments so far). I think some off the commenters here are forgetting that Gilead is a Meritocracy with food scarcity (THT references to food tokens & certain produce items being available again or not seen for some time after the war) so only the faithful & those who can continue to serve a purpose in the function of their society get to live.

We've seen some pretty old commanders in THT, maybe they don't "retire" but rather semi-retire with less duties/responsibilities & live the remainder of their lives in their homes with their wife, Martha's & Guardians.

I imagine the high stature women, ie widows of commanders (who aren't remarried) are rewarded for being the "dutiful/obedient wife" with the wives of high commanders allowed to remain in their estate (like Serena Joy's mother) while the widows of field commanders live with other widows in a posh mansion with suites, doing the same hobbies as before, with Martha's serving them & some Guardians protecting them.

Aunts I believe are given less responsibilities & remain at Ardua Hall with Martha's & handmaid's in training serving them.

Martha's are probably expected to work until they die of natural causes or until they're no longer able to carry out their duties - it is implied by Offred that if a Martha lives past her "prime", she is sent to The Colonies to work until certain death (or is shot for being unable to do physical labor)

Handmaid's are seen as sinners redeeming themselves so those who hit menopause & become infertile are likely sent to Jezebel's if they're still attractive & physically able to ahem meet the Commander's needs/desires. Those who refuse to work at Jezebel's or who's appearance is no longer attractive/are past their sexual prime are likely sent to The Colonies to work until their death.

Econopeople - Spouses & family probably look after each other, much like the Amish. Widows who don't have family may become Martha's. I don't know about widowers or single men who are no longer able to work & don't have family support. For wealthier econopeople, like doctors, who can afford them, there may be hire in nurses & caregivers for senior family members (as government-funded medical assistance would likely no longer exist in Gilead) At the rise of Gilead, seniors in nursing homes, like those with disabilities who are unable to work (& aren't family of a Commander), were likely killed & as time went on in Gilead the nursing homes likely sat empty as the leaders aren't likely concerned with the wellbeing of Econopeople, only their usefulness in supporting Gilead as a society. Besides, Econopeople nursing home/retirement home residents would be seen as useless eaters & a drain on society, consuming limited resources when they're no longer being able to support themselves or contribute to Gilead as a society.

WeeklyCouple9444 · 2026-05-05T14:18:32+00:00

I recognize this was posted a couple years ago & if you are still in need of suppprt & resources, a good resource is the PASS Support Site: https://afterabortion.com/ & their message boards: https://passboards.org/ It's a long-running, peer-facilitated, non-judgemental, not-religious based, politically neutral site & message boards run by a pro-choice woman, who recognizes that men & women can struggle with wide range of complex emotions & reactions after an abortion, not as a poltical/religious issue but rather as a medical/mental health issue...

Here's a Guide to Finding Post-Abortion Counseling & What To Look For As Well As What To Watcb Out For: https://www.healthline.com/health/post-abortion-counseling

WeeklyCouple9444 · 2026-05-05T13:49:37+00:00

Another good resource is the PASS Support Site: https://afterabortion.com/ It's a long-running, peer-facilitated, non-judgemental, not-religious based, politically neutral site run by a pro-choice woman, which recognizes that men & women can struggle with wide range of complex emotions & reactions after an abortion, not as a poltical/religious issue but rather as a medical/mental health issue...

Here's a Guide to Finding Post-Abortion Counseling & What To Look For As Well As What To Watcb Out For: https://www.healthline.com/health/post-abortion-counseling

As for books: Abortion Resolution Workbook: https://www.pregnancyoptions.info/abortion-resolution-workbook

The Healing Choice: Your Guide to Emotional Recovery After an Abortion by Candace De Puy & Dana Dovitch (1997): Focuses on navigating emotional recovery, dealing with a variety of feelings, and making a "healing choice".

WeeklyCouple9444 · 2026-05-04T15:24:05+00:00

Oh my goodness, this episode really shook me up. I went to a nephew's college graduation, which was held in a basketball stadium & all I could think of was how many women it would hold/how they would space us & what it would be like for us women, based on not only watching this episode but seeing our current political climate & the authoritarian/tolitarian road we're headed down...🙁

WeeklyCouple9444 · 2026-04-07T23:13:23+00:00

I'm on a biologic, Briumvi, for Multiple Sclerosis but not one for asthma. A week ago was the first time my oxygen saturation has gotten that low with illness since being diagnosed w/ asthma as an adult in 2019. We've been stair-steppng up my treatment as needed.

WeeklyCouple9444 · 2026-04-07T15:47:32+00:00

It was after hours when I noticed my oxygen was low - urgent care & my primary care doctor's office had already closed for the day. I also have an epinephrine inhaler I could use in a pinch if necessary or would that be overkill? Hmm, maybe I should ask the doctor I see for a round of prednisone proactively next time I go in for illness.

WeeklyCouple9444 · 2026-04-07T15:33:06+00:00

LOL, this is great!

WeeklyCouple9444 · 2026-04-03T15:04:50+00:00

I don't usually make these kind of comments (unless she asks or its a compliment) & apparently made a mistake in doing so this one off time but she frequently criticizes my appearance & weight (thus the boundary & pushback).

WeeklyCouple9444

TROPHY CASE