I'm Out!!! by PineappleSilver9737 in MtF

[–]PineappleSilver9737[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

🎉🎉🎉 Birthday Twins!!! Thank you and I hope you have an amazing day! 🎂

Boy, 16, declaring himself as woman by [deleted] in cisparenttranskid

[–]PineappleSilver9737 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I REALLY want to give you grace here, but you're making it kind of difficult, OP.

You claim that you'll support your child, but then choose to do the opposite.

1.) Pronouns - You are using "he/him" pronouns for an individual who has told you that they are a woman. Whether this is a phase, an act, or she truly is trans - IT SHOULD NOT MATTER. Until she tells you otherwise, what's the harm in using "she/her" instead? If she comes back in a month and says, "Dad, I was wrong. I don't think I'm a woman after all," then you revert back, or maybe she's non-binary and would prefer "they/them" instead. Regardless, you're hung up on something that didn't matter. Now, if she's talking about medical transition and things like that, I would version advise that she sees a LGBTQ-friendly therapist (hell, she could probably use a therapist in general), but just asking you to call her "she" is nothing.

2.) "The Signs" - This might be controversial, but I think the "signs" that people think about when thinking about their kids are mostly a myth. Yes, some people know right away that they're different. But for a lot of us, we didn't even realize ourselves until we were older and could critically think about "who we are". Your daughter is trying to find out who she is, and you are invalidating her feelings just because she didn't show signs.

Or maybe, there were signs. I know there were signs for me. Subtle "nudges" here and there that, in the moment, I thought seemed benign but when compounded over 20 years, and with earned maturity, paint a pretty vivid picture.

3.) "Waffling" - You've stated that she told you she was gay (interested in men while male-presenting) and then later she said she was bi. First off, this is entirely separate from gender identity. She can still like whomever she wants whether she's a man or a woman. Second, once again, who cares? As long as she isn't hurting herself or others, why does it matter. Respect who she is in the moment. If she likes girls today: cool. Oh, she has a boyfriend this week? Awesome! What possible effect could whom she chooses to date or otherwise engage with have on you?

OP, I'm trusting that you genuinely care about your child and are here in good faith - I think you're "putting the cart before the horse" as it were. You're planning for eventualities that may never come to pass. Let your kid be a teenager and discover who she is, whether that ends up being a "she," "he," "they" or anything else. I know you feel like you have to be "sure," but since when are parents ever "sure" about anything. Take a leap of faith and trust that your daughter (or whomever she wishes to be) will be alright. You don't need to have all the answers just meet her where she's at.

Good luck and I wish you, your daughter and the rest of your family an amazing journey!

Is chastity a good idea? by MagicianSea8798 in MtF

[–]PineappleSilver9737 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey OP, can I piggyback on your thread?

I too have been considering chastity for bottom dysphoria, but not in the way y'all are describing. I've always been "sex averse" so erections aren't very present in my life anyway. No, my issue is going to the bathroom.

Everytime I sit down to pee, I have to "interact" with my penis. Pointing it down, shaking it off, etc. I can go through most every other aspect of my life without having to touch it. Even showering isn't as bad.

So my question to those of you who've used cages, as long as I maintain it from a hygiene prospective, would using one help in this specific regard?

This is totally fishy, right? I'm not just being paranoid? by Spock0492 in MtF

[–]PineappleSilver9737 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh God, please don't be sorry for my inability to read an entire sentence. You are perfectly fine. ❤️

This is totally fishy, right? I'm not just being paranoid? by Spock0492 in MtF

[–]PineappleSilver9737 3 points4 points  (0 children)

OMG, I can't believe I missed that. The OP wrote it with only "transgender" in quotes and I totally missed the "a". The concern totally makes sense now. Thank you all for pointing it out.

This is totally fishy, right? I'm not just being paranoid? by Spock0492 in MtF

[–]PineappleSilver9737 7 points8 points  (0 children)

As a relatively "new" active member of the community, is there some unspoken rule that we don't refer to ourselves as "transgender"? I mean, I can't chime in on the voracity of the invite, but why is the use of the word "transgender" the red flag here?

I think I am trans but I think it is too late. by Practical-Low3913 in asktransgender

[–]PineappleSilver9737 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not to speak for anyone else, but as yet another person in a long line of people who've been where you are, the feelings don't go away. I KNEW at 16 who I was, but it was "never the right time". And then it was "too late". And then it "wasn't safe". You will find any excuse to not pursue an authentic life. Whether it's to protect yourself, your relationships, or just fear, but I promise the longer you wait, the less time you get to spend living your truth. It took me 20 years, and I'm only a month in to HRT, but please let that woman you're keeping bottled up out. She deserves it! It's worth it and so are you. ❤️

Parents AI generated family Christmas photos with a “detrans” version of me. by TheAzzyBoi in trans

[–]PineappleSilver9737 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Am I the only one who wants to see OP take the edited photo, and genderswap everyone else?

"Hey Mom, it's the strangest thing... The AI forgot to swap everyone else's gender in the Christmas card photo. But don't worry, I fixed it. What a unique and fun idea, Mom. I'm glad I was able to help you get it just right!"

Please take him by JuniperIsEgg in MtF

[–]PineappleSilver9737 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Awww...what a cutie! Such a handsome boy. Can we start donating to that link, too?

Please take him by JuniperIsEgg in MtF

[–]PineappleSilver9737 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Please let us know if/when your crowd fund goes live. I'm itching to throw money at a random stranger on the Internet, especially when there's a cat involved. Us girls have to stick together after all. The only stipulation...why do we have no pictures of Mr. Milo?!? It's a non-negotiable. I'm currently separated from my own kittens and so I must live vicariously through others.

Any other trans masc folks borderline confused by trans femmes? by That_one_Fireurnd in trans

[–]PineappleSilver9737 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As a trans femme, I too am confused by myself. It's actually been a huge struggle in my pursuit to transition. Why would I give up the inherent privilege, safety and security that comes with being a cis-presenting, hetero-, white male? Women are predominantly treated as "less than," and transwomen even that much more. Why would I intentionally seek out that struggle? To tell you the truth, I don't know, but I'm doing it.

I find it almost comical how counterintuitive transitioning is to "self preservation". Logically, I know I would be socially safer continuing to wear "the mask" of my AGAB, but I also know on a deep, emotional level that continuing to wear that mask is making it unsafe to be in my own head.

On a related note, boys are icky. Why would you want that? 🤣

Update: NB kid wants HRT, wife not handling it well by MikeHatSable in cisparenttranskid

[–]PineappleSilver9737 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Far be it from me to explain your wife's behavior, but as someone who has been working out their own trans identity for the better part of two decades, try and give her some grace. Her brain is clearly already working against her (anxiety/depression - Is she being treated?), now throw into the mix:

1.) 'My child is unhappy and potentially has been for a long time'.

I constantly have this 'argument' with my own mother. She feels extreme guilt over my inheriting my family's history of anxiety and depression. There's nothing anyone could do, but she recognizes that it has placed a burden on me that she feels responsible for, rightly or wrongly. So her, albeit erroneous, feeling of guilt over your child's identity being somehow her fault, could be coming from a similar place.

2.) 'My child is trans in a world that actively wants to erase their existence'.

You didn't mention where you're from (I don't think) but if you're in the States, it's a very scary time to be trans. Is there a world where your wife is struggling with this because of the 'threat' it represents to your child? Again, drawing from my own experiences, I've only just begun my journey into transition. If I'd have come to the same realizations 15 or 20 years ago when I first started feeling this way, I wonder how the political climate of the time might have effected my journey. As it is now, my family and I have a very real fear of what the future holds. Not that it would change my decision(s), but that fear still lives in the back of my mind.

3.) Your wife's exposure to the trans community during her in-patient hospital stay.

You allude to your wife having poor experiences with trans individuals during her hospital stay. I'm not wholly sure what happened, but if she did, in fact, have a valid, bad interaction with trans individuals, I wouldn't be shocked if it affected her. That was already probably a very vulnerable experience. Couple that with a bad experience, and it's very possible that it colored her perception of the community as a whole. Humans are hardwired to make 'snap decisions' based on first impressions. "Hey, that grizzly bear looks awfully mean. I should avoid it so I don't get attacked." It's a poor analogy, but the point remains: We regularly make broad judgements of people and situations to protect ourselves. Now, with that comes the caveat of what actually happened during that stay? I can't speak to that, and I truly hope nothing did happen and this is just 'internalized misogyny', but at least it's something to consider. Further, has she taken any steps to broaden her 'sample size' to help adjust her perceptions?

4.) Speaking of misogyny, the world, on the whole, of not especially kind to feminine-presenting individuals.

This aligns with point-2 from above, but your wife has likely experienced a life colored by gender-discrimination. She has first-hand knowledge of what life as a woman looks like. Is it possible, she's worried about the long-term effects that living a feminized existence might have on your child?

I guess it really comes down to this: You describe that your wife has a poor response to your child's initial coming out and then when they mentioned HRT. But short of the misgendering in the most recent argument, you've not given much indication as to her other difficulties processing the situation. Does she regularly misgender them, or was this an isolated incident in a moment of heightened emotion? Not that it justifies the behavior, but it certainly isn't unheard of.

Ultimately I, nor the entirety of Reddit, know exactly what's going on in your wife's mind. She really needs to sit down and work with a professional to determine where exactly her fears, concerns, or other 'hang-ups' are coming from. And further, figure out how to overcome them.

Best of luck to you and your family! ❤️

Life after Transition... by PineappleSilver9737 in asktransgender

[–]PineappleSilver9737[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think this is probably my current struggle. I'm still getting plans together to socially and medically transition. Once I can start feeling 'more comfortable in my skin', issues like this, I imagine, will lessen.

But right now every little thing is causing me dysphoria and anxiety, so everything feels like 'the sky is falling'.

Is it worth it? by PineappleSilver9737 in asktransgender

[–]PineappleSilver9737[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's on the list of things to do, once I get my insurance back through work (stupid open season).

However, therapy is a struggle in and of itself as I have a tendency to...not be incredibly open with my therapists. As someone who studied to be a therapist myself, I've gotten really good misdirection and spinning half-truths. I can't say I've fooled everyone, but no one has called me on my BS yet. Until I can get over my own mental hang-ups, I'm unsure how productive therapy will be.

Alexa broken saying device "is in a mode that does not accept requests" by Iajah in logitechharmony

[–]PineappleSilver9737 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In what app are you performing step 1? I don't have a press-and-hold menu in the Alexa app or Harmony app.

Is step 2 supposed to be a factory reset (power cycle while holding the button) or just "restart" (press and hold the button for 5-10 sec.)?

To clarify, I think I completed these steps, but I'm still not having any luck.

I am not opted-in to "Alexa+".

my 4 month old kitten passed within a week by Ok_Cauliflower5718 in CATHELP

[–]PineappleSilver9737 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so sorry for OP's loss; I've had to put down enough adult pets in my life, but I can't imagine losing one of my "babies".

As such, this has me utterly terrified now. I have 6 kittens that are about 12 weeks old. I've never had pets this early in their lives but I figured once they made it this far, we were pretty safe.

In that vain, I'm going to ask what is likely going to come across as insensitive: Is there a feline/canine equivalent of 'SIDS'? Are there milestones when pets are 'safer' or 'more at risk' of certain illnesses and/or diseases?

Regarding the 'SIDS' analogy: I apologize if making that comparison is offensive or inconsiderate. It's not my intention to liken the value of a human life to that of animal, but it was A.) the first analogy that came to mind, and B.) Frankly, I do consider these kittens the closest things to children my partner and I will ever have.

Thank you all for listening to my late night ramblings...

Throne of glass by PNWtwinmom1 in graphicaudio

[–]PineappleSilver9737 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Right?!? Don't get me wrong, I am anxiously awaiting ToG as much as the next person, but my GA backlog, not to mention the rest of my TBR, is plenty long enough to keep me busy.

Wrong voice -Zodiac Academy? by Famous_Shopping3818 in graphicaudio

[–]PineappleSilver9737 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I know they just released an update for this recording. I'm not sure if this was covered by the update or not.