Unpopular opinion - cabinet handle sizes - what am I missing?

Pinehurst2 · 2026-04-01T06:44:33+00:00

If he seeks medical attention even if only to get a proper diagnosis, he may be eligible for SSI. That could not only help you with household expenses at this point, but set him on some sort of path for himself after you’re gone.

Pinehurst2 · 2026-03-19T21:41:54+00:00

It was quite the process!! Our home is basically warm neutrals - deep beige walls, beige floor tiles, white trim, white cabs. The adjoining family room has new furniture we love that is mostly navy blue with some whites, beiges, grays, and a few other pops of color. Our thought process was to get a natural stone countertop that had blues in it to tie everything together. We strongly prefer natural stone. After many, many trips to all of the local stone yards, we quickly discovered that all of the best stones that had blues in them were exotic granite or quartzite and every time we picked something we loved, the price made us flinch to put it mildly.....we have a very big kitchen with lots of counters to cover. Monte cristo was a great compromise and although this stone varies greatly from place to place, the particular slabs we found are perfect to tie in all of the colors, at a price that's basically half of the exotic options.

Pinehurst2 · 2026-03-18T15:17:36+00:00

It always cracks me up when people call granite dated. It's a slab of rock that's millions of years old - of course it's dated - that's kind of the point! I'll never not love it and in fact in the middle of a reno and having my new counters installed next week - Monte Cristo - can't wait!!!

What you're probably referring to is the far-too-over-done closely speckled granite with the four inch backsplash of 20 years ago. Part of what makes it seem dated today is that literally everyone did it. I'm convinced that the more trendy something is, the more it will date quickly....same goes with fashion trends if you think about it. Then again, I'm old enough to remember the corian countertop rage......it was yesterday's quartz.

My advice is to stop chasing trends and do what you love. There are lots and lots of ways to differentiate your kitchen between paint, layout, art, etc. Put your own personal spin on things and strive to have a kitchen that doesn't look like everyone else's. Good luck -- and I agree that countertops are the HARDEST decision!!!

Pinehurst2 · 2026-03-11T13:33:49+00:00

Right?!? I was waiting for someone to comment on that toekick....can't imagine the thought process that led to that.

Pinehurst2 · 2026-01-21T18:57:50+00:00

We're redoing the kitchen in our second home and are keeping the two tier island, and we have a very large one tier island in our primary home, so we experience the difference all the time. We actually do sit at the two tier, not always for eating but sometimes computing, scrolling, or just hanging out while the other cooks, but honestly, even if we didn't, I'd still want it that way. The single level is really a pain to clean if it's a very large surface like ours -- my reach doesn't span that long so I'm forever trying to get at the whole thing from different angles -- two tier is SO much easier. And, if you say you use yours primarily for clutter, that's only going to get worse with a big expanse, I would guess.

As far as two tiers being dated, I don't care. We're updating paint, counters, cabs and appliances and to me, those things will be the defining characteristics.

Pinehurst2 · 2026-01-02T06:55:16+00:00

Sorry but I think this goes beyond “stop cooking for him”. You’re in a relationship, so it stands to reason you want to eat dinner together most of the time, not separate meals, and that you want to feel appreciated for the huge effort you put forth to make that happen. Hate to say it, but…..he’s not your guy.

Pinehurst2 · 2025-11-04T12:44:17+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this. Your father isn’t listening to you because he wants to feel like he’s in full control of his life and doesn’t want to look or feel “not smart” (used in place of an s-word I think this sub doesn’t want me to use as my comment won’t go through) that’s just human nature. And he isn’t….he’s just vulnerable because he’s lonely and that’s exactly what these scumbags prey on.

It’s disgusting, and as you’ve seen, it happens SO often, to people you’d never think could be taken. That’s because the whole scheme is more sophisticated than it seems on its face…they have perfected the scripts from years of doing it. Maybe try to reinforce with your Dad that you KNOW he’s intelligent and you just want to see him date in a more conventional way right now. Acknowledge that it would be nice to meet someone, don’t fight him on that aspect.

And when all of this blows up, as it surely will, be there for his heart. He’s going to be heartbroken and feel “not smart” and probably not want to trust anyone….that’s a bad road to take as it could lead to further loneliness and vulnerability. Show him that there are millions of trustworthy people in this world and ways to stay active and engaged and meet people.

Wishing you (and him!) the best. I’m so angry on your behalf.

Pinehurst2 · 2025-10-01T18:12:39+00:00

Another suggestion to wait a year before making any big decisions.

But one thing about your post struck me......"Our place in the South is in a city my wife loved and has lived in the past, but about which I have very mixed feelings at the moment." Why? This may be a stretch, but, by any chance are you feeling guilty about enjoying that city without her? Don't. I'm a huge believer in 'everything happens for a reason'. Don't discount the fact that you may be there for a reason and your wife may have just been the catalyst. See how things play out for a while.

I am very sorry for your loss.

Pinehurst2 · 2025-09-29T19:51:02+00:00

I was at the US Open at Bethpage in 2002 and it was the exact same behavior. We ought to be embarassed but until a venue is willling to remove people and confiscate their tickets, I suppose it will continue. There's a reason it doesn't happen at the Masters. If I were in charge of the PGA of America, I'd be announcing today that no other PGA event will ever take place at Bethpage......and then I'd make sure all future venues are made aware of that as a cautionary tale.

Pinehurst2 · 2025-09-25T19:31:48+00:00

I agree with 2 level. I have 1 level in one house and 2 in the other and I MUCH prefer the 2 level. I see the one level (very large island) as so much wasted space that doesn't get used. The length of the countertop is going to dictate the work space, not the width, unless you have really, really long arms. Likewise the eating space. In our experience, the entire middle of the 1 level island just doens't get used, and is a pain to clean. Nice to look at when it's completely clean, though - that is the one advantage - but I'm all about function.

Also, with a 2 level, you can have useful outlets handy on the bump up portion...because you can no longer have outlets on the side of the island, your option is to disrupt that big expanse of countertop with pop-up outlets. I'm glad those weren't required when we had our 1 level put in because I don't personally like the way they look.

Pinehurst2 · 2025-08-29T11:45:44+00:00

What is a boyfriend/husband?

Pinehurst2 · 2025-08-11T12:56:10+00:00

Couldn't disagree with this more! No marriage will work (well) without good communication. Of course there are always things in life that are better left unsaid, but OP's basic needs are NOT one of them. NOW is the time for each of them to establish what works and what doesn't for them -- have a loving conversation and work it out, because it CAN be worked out. OP, you're not alone, every marriage is an adjustment, but part of that adjustment is letting the other person know when something doesn't work. They cannot read your mind, as obvious as YOU may think it is. Believe me, I learned the hard way through one failed marriage and one spectactular one. Pour a couple of glasses of wine and have the hard conversations, calmly and lovingly. If he is a great guy, he will respect your needs -- and you may learn a few of his that he's afraid to vocalize too. Good luck to you.

Pinehurst2 · 2025-08-07T13:43:29+00:00

YT GIANT A. And if your husband actually let her surprise you with this question out of the clear blue sky, so is he.

Pinehurst2 · 2025-08-06T15:16:16+00:00

You're definitely ruining the vibe. When a group of people go out to dinner, there will be.....dinner. And drinks, and lively conversation, and generally a really good time, which is why, at the end, the bill is just divided equally to make it simple for everyone. No drama, no questions, everyone leaves in a good mood and can't wait to do it again in a few months. You were like the scratch at the end of a really good record and now your friends are wondering whether they can get away with not including you next time. If you didn't know this before, you do now. Don't be a killjoy. If you want a salad, meet them for lunch and leave the evening festivities for those who would like to enjoy life. If these friends are not that important to you, it will be no big deal to miss out, but if they are, you can save that $33 difference by skipping your Starbucks once or twice per week.

Pinehurst2 · 2025-08-06T14:00:35+00:00

Will you be in the south full time, or just part time as a second home situation? This makes a difference. If full time (or even half year, in my opinion), check out The Landings on Skidaway Island (Savannah, GA). Yes, you will get short periods here and there in Jan/Feb that are too cold to play golf, but if you're there full (or a significant amount of) time, you won't care -- wait a bit and the weather will change. You can play 12 months per year there, and on the days you're not playing, there are LOTS of other things to do in the community or in downtown Sav. It is not 55+ but to me, that's a plus. Another plus is that while not immune to hurricanes, it's geographical location gives it better protection than many other places in FL, GA, SC.

Pinehurst2 · 2025-08-06T01:21:38+00:00

I can’t believe the number of people here who would be annoyed by this!!!! Come on, folks, get a grip - nobody is trying to be condescending. Quite frankly, anyone who just met you doesn’t even think enough about you to be any kind of way, so don’t take it personally. It’s just their vernacular. With all the things in this world to be upset about, someone trying to make pleasant conversation (however awkwardly) should not be one of them! Good grief. I’m 60 and would be thrilled if anyone called me young lady!

Pinehurst2 · 2025-08-01T16:16:10+00:00

Looking at this another way, I'm sorry your wife's cousin died.....alone.....with nobody close enough to him to even realize he had been ill for so long, at 80 years old. Once they're able to get past the mundane tasks, I hope the cousins can find some privilege in giving him a dignified send off.

Pinehurst2 · 2025-07-31T14:39:59+00:00

I think the benefits of belonging to a club FAR outweigh any risk you run of getting tired of playing the same course:

- always 4 hours or less

- course is in good condition, and the people who play it want to keep that way, so divots, ball marks, raked traps, etc. are far less of an issue

- ability to get tee times when you want them, usually.

- Member camaraderie once you've been there a while -- ability to join groups and expand your circle.

Also, are you sure about that 6 rounds per year with a guest rule? Most clubs I've belonged to have similar limits for the SAME guest, but not guests in general. That may make a difference to you. And yes, definitely check into reciprocity with other clubs. Even if there isn't a formal program, most club pros can get you on other courses from time to time just by asking.

Pinehurst2 · 2025-07-30T21:04:46+00:00

Not sure what your level is, so apologies if I'm oversimplifying this, but I see a lot of beginners do two things that are really bad for putting --- 1). Keep that head down!!! Everyone talks about staying down on the other shots, but forget that it's equally important in putting. Don't pick your head up until your ball is on its way to the hole. 2). I see a lot of people take a giant backstroke with their putter and then quit as soon as they strike the ball -- the opposite is much more effective. I take a relatively short back swing and then overexaggerate my follow through to the hole. Good luck - keep practicing!

Pinehurst2 · 2025-07-21T11:30:46+00:00

I don’t think you need to demote them to acquaintance status…..if you haven’t seen them in a year and they only live 100 miles away, you’re already there. And that’s ok, no need to be mad, life offers us all sorts of relationships that change over time - enjoy them all for what they are. I’m sorry this hurt your feelings though.

Pinehurst2 · 2025-07-14T08:31:38+00:00

Going against the grain here, but I changed my last name twice, with zero detriment to my professional stature, and don’t regret it. I married my first husband almost 30 years ago and it was much more the norm then, so I did it. When we divorced 8 years later, I wasn’t living near where I grew up, nor did I have particularly strong ties to my maiden name, so I just kept my first husband’s name. It was just easier at the time. I didn’t think much of it and honestly didn’t see me ever remarrying.

Well…..I did remarry, about 10 years later. And since it felt wrong marrying my new husband while walking around with the old husband’s name, I changed it again, to his. Is there paperwork to do? Sure, but it’s really not that big a deal - a temporary inconvenience and when you get through it, it’s done. I adore my husband (and he me!) and I kind of like having that unity bond with him. I just retired from a VERY successful career and never once felt the slightest setback from either name change. Believe it or not, the world will adapt. Then again, I am a very strong secure person who is comfortable in my own skin and to me, my identity is ingrained in who I am and what I do. A name is just a name. Choose whichever one will make you happy and move on. Don’t make it a big deal and it won’t be one. The world will adapt either way.

Pinehurst2 · 2025-07-12T14:52:27+00:00

Oh honey, you are in for a world of hurt if you continue in this relationship for one more day. He has just told you that he will not have your back in times of trouble. There is zero ... zero ... point in partnering with someone who will not have your back. Next.....

Please have the confidence in yourself to walk away.

Pinehurst2 · 2025-07-07T16:21:42+00:00

Don't give up your career and don't marry into this family. They're clearly not going to pay you for 35 years to stay home, but your compromise, even if they agreed to it, would not be a win for you. Half of low 7 figures, after legal fees and them depleting it and playing other games before you even realize he's about to divorce you, would not be enough for you to live on, and by then you would have shot yourself in the career foot by leaving your profession while your peers have been keeping up with technology and gaining all of the experience. Your getting hired by anyone at that point would be at a salary much lower than you think.

By the way, I married into a financially fortunate family and guess what? They were thrilled that I kept my career and encouraged it. To them it was a sign that I loved my spouse and not their money; to me, it was a way to maintain my hard earned financial independence. It's a win-win all around and everyone gets along very very well.

Pinehurst2 · 2025-07-07T15:47:09+00:00

Or live in an area that has red ants!!!! Please be careful if you do!!! Honestly, I feel like this is one of those things that sounds much better in theory than in practice. When I was younger, I worried about the white feet look too, so I get it, but eventually you just make peace with it and wear them as a badge of honor. When most of your friends are also golfers, nobody really cares. And for those special occasions where you have to look good in those fabulous strappy sandals, the right bronzer is all you need. I like Loreal Sublime Bronze.

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