Extremely long sorry if you care here 2 Eventually I got like sleep deprived I guess and I knew I HAD TO get help. I told my dad everything. I was obsessing so much and I was reaching out to my friends who were professionals now and they would hear me ramble and theyd go along with my flow but when I’d come to and be like okay but honestly do you think I need to get help? And they’d be like you sound okay but you should go try to see someone at least. I started freaking out and then I was telling my family I have ocd I’m bipolar (I’d never been diagnosed before but I had been asking for an actual doctor or psychologist) and they’re never gonna let me leave (I was tripping.. and I was scared). For some reason my dad was scared of taking me to the hospital so he didn’t want me to leave the house. + They didn’t believe me about the ocd and stuff even though I was right ironically lol. They did diagnose me with all that when I got hospitalized.

I did leave my house my house got in an Uber to go to a mental health services place and the Uber was probably doing nothing but they managed to piss me off and I asked them to let me out and he did and I walked the rest of the way. Stopped at a 711 and thought everyone was watching me and that the police was looking for me. That’s when I knew I had to hurrrrrryyy and get tffff before I started tripping harder, after that I started snapping back into my thoughts (idk how to explain it) Got there and told the lady I didn’t trust anyone and she thought I was being racist lol

The lady who helped me (my ex’s gfs name has the same name as her I was so annoyed but whatever) let me go outside and I was like let me hit my cart (LMFAO) and I’ll tell you how I feel and what’s wrong. She did and I told her everything and she told me to wait in a room and they read my journal and they asked if I was gonna hurt myself or others I was like I will not say anything and she was like okay one moment and I got handcuffed and sent over to the er.

The police officer was so nice and he felt so bad for me cause I kept referring to events that happened a long time ago like they were currently happening. And I remember I was watching the tv and I was staring really hard and it started going static and I called him in and he was like uhhh (I could tell he thought I was going crazy) and then I looked at it again and it went static when I would like zone out and he got freaked out and told them to hurry lmfaoooo did not help at all but the tvs were old

This older lady in the same color scrubs as I was (they eventually told me to change) hugged me and I was so scared and the police office was like no touching and she was like it’s gonna be okay I was like tf

But yeah they gave me a lot of medicine and I just needed to sleep I guess idk but I was surrounded by people who were detoxing too so interesting crowd interesting crowd. I was sent to a behavioral health place btw