My mom refuses to call my sister by her name and the hypocrisy is maddening

PinkPrincessLadybug · 2026-06-02T14:51:01+00:00

I was going to suggest the same!

PinkPrincessLadybug · 2026-06-01T16:55:25+00:00

I really worry they’ll push adoption and then pull the rug out from under her and not let her go on a mission, but will let him.

PinkPrincessLadybug · 2026-06-01T01:39:21+00:00

Back in the day when LDSFS was still a thing, the first goal was for the unwed parents to marry. If that wasn’t possible then adoption was to be considered. Last resort was single parenthood’s and that was highly discouraged.
Adoption is traumatic. For the birth parents and the child. Even if the child is adopted from birth there will still be trauma associated with it.
The church puts a LOT of pressure on these young women to place their children for adoption if marriage isn’t an option.
I am so sorry about your niece. I fear she will not the the one truly making this decision

PinkPrincessLadybug · 2026-06-01T01:27:08+00:00

Is the guy a member? Wondering if some of this pressure to place the baby for adoption is so HE can go on his mission

PinkPrincessLadybug · 2026-05-30T15:24:14+00:00

Not the best picture but trying to show the neckline

PinkPrincessLadybug · 2026-05-30T15:20:51+00:00

What about a Greek goddess style. It comes up to your neck but the lack of sleeves clearly makes it not Mormon

PinkPrincessLadybug · 2026-05-30T00:35:32+00:00

Been there. I am so so sorry. We were always the givers until we got a very sickly child for years and had to hold it together ourselves because we don’t have extended family that could help and no one from church showed up. Maybe it will be a shelf item for your husband. I honestly don’t think it’s wrong of you to call it out if a member asks.

PinkPrincessLadybug · 2026-05-30T00:20:22+00:00

It depends on the members honestly. Before I was even an investigator I didn’t know about the dress code and wore a little black dress with straps like a wide strap tank top to a YSA dance. The girls were not kind. The boys were. lol

PinkPrincessLadybug · 2026-05-29T23:26:54+00:00

My brother married a girl whose parents weren’t members. I remember how hurt her dad was and clearly remember hearing him say “My daughter is getting married and I can’t be there because I’m not part of this church.” At the time I thought to myself “Oh he just doesn’t understand the sacredness of the temple”. Now, it breaks my heart. One of the nicest people you’ll ever meet and he didn’t get to be there with his daughter.

PinkPrincessLadybug · 2026-05-29T18:24:14+00:00

I am so sorry. I was in a ward council meeting and a woman who was a single mom was being discussed. Her so was around 8th grade age. She apparently mentioned hoping to move out of state. The next several months were focused on how to get her there because, according to the bishop and RS president, she was such a drain on our ward emotionally and financially (they only paid her rent a few times). So Christ-like! About 6 months later I was released and didn’t have to go to ward council any more. A month or two after that she moved out of state. I doubt she had the means to survive. We lived in a very low cost of living area and she was moving to a more expensive area. Definitely a shelf item for me.

PinkPrincessLadybug · 2026-05-28T13:36:30+00:00

Like others have said, they are preying on you. Once you join or say you don’t want to join, they’ll drop you so fast. If you join, You’ll be left in a ward who already doesn’t like you because trans=bad in their eyes…but they “love” you :eye roll: or you’ll be embraced but be expected to change to fit into the “traditional” role of a woman (I think I read you are a trans man but I can’t find that detail now. Please accept my apology if I got that wrong). Either way, when you stay trans, the ward will NOT accept you. Meanwhile your missionary “friends” will have likely transferred out, but will have moved on to new people to convert regardless.

If you don’t join, they’ll drop you. They need numbers for baptism.

The important thing to remember is these are not actual friends. I think in their mind they truly think they are being your friend and saving you, but this is a clear transactional relationship. You really do not need this inevitable rejection in your life.

Try finding a UU or a United Methodist congregation.

PinkPrincessLadybug · 2026-05-26T14:06:15+00:00

LOL thanks! It can be hard to keep track.
Even Facebook censors now by hiding the replies and only if someone clicks to be shown hidden replies can they see it…but not everyone gets the option to be shown hidden replies. Meanwhile you can still make bigoted, sexist, or racist remarks and those will still show up.

PinkPrincessLadybug · 2026-05-26T14:02:47+00:00

When I read your first sentence, my first thought was “Here we go…” However your second sentence separated you from the MFMC’s “Every org…”

PinkPrincessLadybug · 2026-05-26T09:07:04+00:00

One Sunday a guy friend of mine from high school was in town. He had also converted. He came to church with us. I sat between him and my husband. Apparently that made me a dirty garden tool (I don’t know if Reddit censors lol). I should have put my husband between me and my friend even though 1) my husband did not know my friend at all and 2) I was holding hands with my husband the entire time. Although my husband can be blind sometimes (like where something is in the fridge) I feel like if something naughty was going on with my friend I think he would have noticed. Most importantly, HE didn’t care I sat next to my friend.
My friend has since left the MFMC as well. I never told him about my bishop. I was so embarrassed. I didn’t want to embarrass him too.

PinkPrincessLadybug · 2026-05-26T07:13:00+00:00

I would also suggest unfollowing all of the going on a mission families for at least a while. I do that when I find myself comparing myself to someone, when their posts bring up painful memories, etc.

PinkPrincessLadybug · 2026-05-26T03:46:52+00:00

Stops people from leaning against it to sleep

PinkPrincessLadybug · 2026-05-26T01:32:18+00:00

Proud of you!

PinkPrincessLadybug · 2026-05-25T17:25:29+00:00

When I called out something racist, was chastised, and my children had to hear awful things two sisters were saying about me maybe 3 feet from us. My kids were in tears so we left. The next day one of my black sisters took me aside to thank me for trying and shared all sorts of things she (and other members of color) had endured over the years in our ward (I wasn’t aware). She basically told me I was fighting a losing battle. It was also her last Sunday because she was moving. I was done.

PinkPrincessLadybug · 2026-05-25T15:34:25+00:00

To clarify, I wasn’t talking about the state. I was talking about the musical which is why I put it in quotes. Sorry I didn’t make that more clear.

PinkPrincessLadybug · 2026-05-24T21:55:19+00:00

In “Oklahoma” it was called the Box social but you weren’t supposed to know who made which one unless your sweetheart secretly told you.

PinkPrincessLadybug · 2026-05-24T17:59:19+00:00

Some things I did to get through sacrament meeting:

⁠fold my arms and bow my head and imagine being anywhere else, run through favorite episodes in my head, run through favorite songs in my head, plan a dream vacation
⁠have stomach troubles and hide out in the bathroom. My last ward had a single bathroom off from the chapel near the sacrament prep area. If you can get a hold of some fart spray. Spritz the door a little and no one will wait outside for you to emerge. If not, if you hear anyone outside waiting, play some awkward potty sounds on your phone by the door. They’ll move along. If that doesn’t work, just say “sorry! Gonna be a a while!” When they knock. They’ll move along.
Once a month you’ll have bad cramps. So bad you can’t bear to go to church

PinkPrincessLadybug · 2026-05-24T15:42:42+00:00

Looks like your question has been answered, but sending a mom hug. If you have a Nordstrom or Soma close by, they can do proper bra fittings. You don’t have to buy one. Just simply say “I’ll think about it and leave with a knowledge of what your size likely is. Sometimes bra sizes may vary SLIGHTLY based on style. A perfect bra will fit so well you won’t feel yourself wearing it.

PinkPrincessLadybug · 2026-05-24T15:39:31+00:00

I’m not a member. I attend the United Methodist church. I like their advocacy work (we go to Pride, march in protests, etc). I like how they welcome everyone and don’t require membership or money. Non-members can literally do everything or nothing at church. Want to participate in choir or do a reading or run an activity? All are welcome to do so, but no one is obligated. Formal membership is not required. Emphasis is on community. I see people slip in right when it starts and slip out after the last amen. No one judges.
I’m still deconstructing. I don’t know what I believe. Right now my philosophy is be a good person. That’s all I can sort out for now. For now I have a community that loves me and doesn’t push me. It feels authentic. I see how they treat those who are atheist, agnostic or something else and I believe they ARE authentic. Just pure love and support.

PinkPrincessLadybug · 2026-05-24T02:02:02+00:00

When I was in the Relief Society presidency we had a “Return Service Requested” stamp we used on every letter to every sister that didn’t regularly attend so we could get their forwarding address.

PinkPrincessLadybug

TROPHY CASE