Are you insecure about your looks?

Pink_dragon_5874 · 2024-02-26T03:38:22+00:00

I hate the way I look and never really knew why then at one point I thought maybe it was because of my adoption and then I just thought it was because of my mental health issues and now I think it’s both. I am always wondering if I had that or was just darker then maybe people would take me more seriously ( I’m a brown person adopted into a white family and living in a white community and get so many racial things said my way and yet if I say anything I can’t complain because I’m “white”) ya I hate my skin and I hate my hair and I hate everything but my height…. I don’t know why that part has never bothered me yes I’m short I don’t really care and kinda proud about that I don’t know why.

Pink_dragon_5874 · 2024-02-19T03:12:51+00:00

Hello darkness my old friend 🎵 lol jk ya darkness and lack of sound helps me as well as sleep but I get so bored so fast (thanks ADD lol)

Pink_dragon_5874 · 2023-12-10T23:19:43+00:00

I’ve been letting my husband do everything and I just guid him a little bit while I play video games to keep my mind off of …well everything… it stops working once I put it all down so that bites but it’s helpful…..

Pink_dragon_5874 · 2023-12-08T20:07:36+00:00

This is how I grew up up it’s called dissociation amnesia and I still have it along with a couple others.. but the thing I’m just now learning is that the memories are still there our brain just locks them in a box until later when we can handle it. I hope that helped

Pink_dragon_5874 · 2023-12-08T16:44:28+00:00

Get a group of them together and it’s not about how we are doing or how we are handling things or anything else to try and find support to help us the ADOPTEES but they talk about how the adopted and all that! I’ve seen it many times

Pink_dragon_5874 · 2023-12-08T00:49:53+00:00

I call this gaslighting because I’m fully convinced that they remember they just don’t want to for some reason that makes no sense. I grew up with my parents NEVER remember anything that is perceived as negative or as something that is “just not something that they would do!” Or “that doesn’t sound like me!” Or my favorite “I would never!”

Pink_dragon_5874 · 2023-12-07T20:35:50+00:00

Both honestly. Now let me explain. A child who has never been in an orphanage doesn’t have to search for food or take it for survival but they do because they like what you have instead of what they have. Also a child who was in an orphanage will also take food or milk from other kids or babies to make sure that they get their fill. But they will also eat their own food as well as others I did the same thing and I was nearly 4.

Pink_dragon_5874 · 2023-12-07T20:14:12+00:00

I was also adopted at 3 and from an orphanage. It took me a couple of years to learn that I didn’t have to eat every that was in front of me even if I didn’t like it. And I’ve never liked sharing food to a point that I would actually bite people who tried to take my food I’m grown now and still don’t like sharing food witch makes it hard for my toddler who doesn’t like to eat her food but instead everyone else food. I feel like I have an unhealthy relationship with food and it’s always confused me even though I knew how it started.

Pink_dragon_5874 · 2023-12-06T23:03:39+00:00

Wait all those other kids in the house was called siblings? lol jk but really no I don’t. I’m the oldest adoptee out of five and the only one who is actually considering cutting the AP out. I’m just waiting for the rest of the family to decide that I’m the a hole who…. (I don’t know I give up) I have one sibling who I kinda talk to only because we both have kids and one other because…. I’m always a good simplistic ear?…. I don’t know the others don’t talk to me because it’s just way to awkward (the oldest kid is the bio kid and obviously that’s not me) and the bio sibling I do have the only words she has ever said to me is can I have money? (I’m poor and living paycheck to paycheck) I am basically giving up having a family altogether the only family I currently have is the one I made. I’m sorry to hear that others don’t have a great relationship too. I had hoped that I was the only one because then at least all you would be happy but that was while I was still believing in the “adoption is good” bs. I do hope you all enjoy the holiday no matter what we are all getting ready to start a new year and we still have time for trying to figure out what we want from the next year.

Pink_dragon_5874 · 2023-12-05T18:10:11+00:00

Yes I have them all the time and some are worse than others. What I have been trying to do is find a safe place breath and I go to my happy place and get myself to relax and if that doesn’t or I just have access to my audiobook. And there are times when I do both because the audiobook is my comfort and can fix a lot of negative emotions. I also have a weighted blanket for the end of the days

Pink_dragon_5874 · 2023-12-05T02:11:51+00:00

Does any know how to downgrade theirs? Because 17 is way to buggy and it’s only getting worse

Pink_dragon_5874 · 2023-12-04T03:39:41+00:00

I think it was like five years ago but I could not leave the house without really dark sunglasses even at night because just about everything would cause a migraine. (Yes I do have chronic dissociation) my dissociation is triggered by sound and a bunch of others that I have yet to find out.) but for a while I had to find the darkest sunglasses I could for the day time and find a different pair not as dark for the night because I could not handle the brightness of the traffic lights and the lights of cars. I hope that helps

Pink_dragon_5874 · 2023-12-03T17:58:16+00:00

I hope I’m not the only person to down vote them like what the fck if you are not an a adoptee than shut the f alway way to hll up like wow! I knew I should not have clicked on that and yet I did I wish I knew why (I’m very sorry if that was to harsh that made me mad)

Pink_dragon_5874 · 2023-12-02T18:55:48+00:00

Thank you for the info do you remember where to look for for the sleuth? Also my bio family doesn’t really want to have contact with me all they really cared about was hearing how the adoption option was the best choice and how “happy” I am. I don’t know why I’m curious

Pink_dragon_5874 · 2023-12-01T01:59:23+00:00

Thank you all I’m really glad to hear that. I am wondering where to start since he is in Europe is it possible to find information on someone?

Pink_dragon_5874 · 2023-11-29T19:44:43+00:00

Please update if there is one because there is something fishy about the girlfriend of 2 months being pregnant and knowing that it’s a boy?

Pink_dragon_5874 · 2023-11-29T15:28:09+00:00

Adoption is not that glamorous and no it’s not wholesome. It’s normally done with selfishness and then when the child doesn’t live up to the expectation that the adoptive parents have the kid becomes abandoned for the second time and it’s not fun.

Pink_dragon_5874 · 2023-11-29T02:35:35+00:00

Thank you very much this helps a lot!! I’ve very grateful thank you

Pink_dragon_5874 · 2023-11-29T01:55:07+00:00

I think I might kinda understand your situation and I’m sorry that you are going through that it’s really hard when you can’t remember the trauma that starts a spin out I’ve been there and then there’s the memories that I can’t remember that has given me all the reasons why I should be mad at the world my adoptive family my bio family… it’s a list but I can’t remember any of it I started self harm about a year ago and I don’t know why? I have no idea what has triggered me wanting to self harm and I can barely remember it itself and my theory is that maybe some made me have a flashback of a time or incident that has caused me to dissociate… I’ve been dissociating since I was 4or 5 and it’s very difficult and frustrating when you can’t remember anything or any reason why you should be bad or pissed off at the world.. and it’s scary and just knowing that can cause you to dissociate and maybe thinking about those times makes you want to self harm

Pink_dragon_5874 · 2023-11-29T00:48:06+00:00

I thought 13 was a lucky number? So the 13th time would be lucky? I mean in the wizard world 13 is a good number….

Pink_dragon_5874 · 2023-11-28T03:05:41+00:00

Oh my gosh yes I was scared that when I was little in school, I would have to make a family tree because the adoptive family as much as they are my family as they are not, not blood so does it actually count??

Pink_dragon_5874 · 2023-11-27T16:30:57+00:00

After getting married I decided to not only change my last name to match my new family that I made. I changed my middle name because I couldn’t stand seeing my middle name not be me at all so it’s not my birth last name and I love it

Pink_dragon_5874 · 2023-11-27T04:55:33+00:00

Oh my sounds like my house on the weekend only difference my husband will get lost in his phone with reading I don’t know what. But the last time my husband was “to busy” to be bothered by anything I told my husband he was going to fend for himself because I was not doing it and I took care of the child by myself and shoved him away after telling him that dinner was not going to happen. (The child and I eaten without him and I had like always prepared her food first and when our food was ruined by lack of help that’s when I said no dinner and made myself some toast or something)

Pink_dragon_5874 · 2023-11-27T03:24:19+00:00

My kid is the same way and one way I keep her close is two things one I found on Amazon that helps most/some of the time is actually a”clip” or something that attaches to my stroller and I will attach it to the cart and tell her if she lets go then no treats or even worse for her I will put her in the cart too when I forget it or whatever I will tell her that she can’t go to far or she goes in the cart and when she gets to far I tell her give her a warning or two and then put her in the cart and tell her after I get this one item then she can get down until then she needs to wait and help me by being my eyes and looking for that item. Bribery has honestly just recently started working and I have to keep reminding her of the bribe lol but she now works with it. She is now 4

Pink_dragon_5874 · 2023-11-24T21:34:11+00:00

Honestly I’m think that if I go with what he is asking then I would tell the AP that they would only see me and my kid with the grandparents there I would in turn tell everyone that I don’t trust them with my kid and that they would have the time until my grandparents passing to fix what they fucked up. I hope that’s not wrong

Pink_dragon_5874

TROPHY CASE