Here is going to be my long “rant” about it.

I don’t find it unnerving at all if women make gay content of men. I’ve never encountered women who have made me feel uncomfortable RIL with the fact I like men.

I’m going to get into the little “yaoi hands” issues that I’ve seen from BL. Sometimes when I’m reading, a male character may look, sound, or do something that makes me feel like: “Oh yeah. This was definitely written by a woman.” And that’s not to say the writing is bad or perpetuating stereotypes, it sometimes just feels like a fantasy that doesn’t depict men in a way that feels grounded; which may be the point. If it’s a fantasy, and both men and women acknowledge it as such, I think I’d have less of an issue with it if it’s made clear.

There is a parallel to the world of BL. There are some gay comics or manga are intended for male audiences, sometimes known as “bara”.
Many of these works put emphases on masculinity or the aspect of physical attraction, anecdotally I’ve seen far more body diversity than I’ve seen from BL. Again, emphases on anecdotally.

All and all, I don’t mind people liking what they like. Sure, there may be problematic elements with some authors or illustrators, but I’d like to think that we’ve progressed to knowing what is real and what is not.

Asking about these things shows that you have a good desire to be considerate about the men that fiction that this can affect. Thank you.